Aftertaste [COMPLETED]

Chapter 19 :: Goodbye Cruel World

BERLIN'S P.O.V.

**

"I HAD A FEELING I'd find you up here." I hugged myself against the crisp air as I heard him approaching me from behind. "The world's a lot prettier from up here." My voice was soft and a little raspy as I spoke.

I drew in a breath as I looked down over the area where the campus met the streets. Without a word, Logan joined me where I stood leaning against the railing. "You were right, you know."

In a tone equally as gentle, he replied, "About what?"
"Sometimes...you're just too close to a situation to realise it. Sometimes you just gotta take a step back to breathe and take it all in."

"With a grain of salt of course."

I nodded with a ghost of a smile. "With a grain of salt."

Just then, a strong breeze hit, caressing my face. I closed my eyes and leaned farther forward on my toes, gripping the cold metal railing in both my hands.

Feeling refreshed, I turned my head up at Logan. "I heard that if you close your eyes, you feel a moment of peace just before you hit the ground." Logan was visibly rattled. "Whoa. Let's not find out today."

I held my arms open and pretended to fall forward. "Goodbye cruel world!" Logan laughed and shook his head at my morbid sense of humour. I looked down at the traffic to see one of the Cruller pastry trucks barreling down the road, to this I said, equally as passionate, "Goodbye Cruller world!"

The moment was funny, and making Logan smile or laugh, even if it was taking a shot at my own emotions, made me feel a little more human that night.

But I couldn't keep it up for long. Before too long, my melancholy got the better of me. I slumped forward into the rail, resting my chin in my hand, a deadened expression on my face.

"Hey, what's up?" I looked over at Logan who was wearing a worried expression, then peered back down over the rail when I asked. "Logan am I a horrible person?"

"What? No. What would make you say something like that?"

With a sigh, I straightened and looked him in the eye. "Well, for one, when I watch Frosty the Snowman, I root for the sun..."

"Wow." He laughed. " I dunno Berlin. In that case, you might be pretty cynical."

I let my vision trail to the blackness of the night, unable to shift my focus from the world below." Logan sensed this and lightly took my hand in his own. "Okay, first of all, let's back away from the rail."

We stepped back far enough so that we were at least ten feet from the building's edge. "Now. You wanna tell me what's on your mind?"

I was awful. That was exactly it, there really wasn't much more to it. I was beginning to realise how manipulative I'd been when it came to not only my boyfriend, but my other guy friends too. It seemed that I could never have a healthy relationship with a guy without trying to lure him in, or at least try to make him want me. It was unhealthy, I know. And I had no idea what the root of this problem of mine was, nor how to get to it.

And that is what brought me to the roof of the dormitory building that night. I remembered how Logan had said that whenever he needed to breathe or clear his mind, he'd escape to a rooftop, and at that point, I had nothing to lose but my mind, so why not give it a shot?

When I talked to Logan the other day, it was sort of a slap in the face to become suddenly aware that I loved James far more than he did me, but there wasn't enough love in this world to make me go back to that relationship.