Sucidal at 7

Going mental

Belle's POV:

"Belle..... BELLE!" Someone called.

"Whatttt...." I sighed. "Wait.." I thought " I'm supposed to be dead!"

I opened my eyes to find that my vision was a blur. The blurred character next to me placed a pair of glasses onto my eyes.

My eyesight cleared and I saw a strange nurse standing beside me.

"Welcome to the Saint Michaels Mental Ward!" She exclaimed as she plastered a fake smile on her face.

"Lunch is in 5 minutes! Get going sweetie!" I expected her to then leave me to get ready but that was not the case.

"We can't leave you alone darling!" She explained "you might hurt yourself." She pulled up a chair and handed me a booklet.

" So Belle... You are in level one at the moment. In this level we watch you do everything except shower and use the loo. If you hurt yourself again, then we move you up to level two, where someone watches you 24/7. If you don't hurt yourself for more that 2 weeks we let you move to section B. You get privacy in this section. After 3 weeks of no self harm we let you leave."

It was a lot to take in. The thought of having someone watching you 24/7 was kind of scary.

I started to get ready and to my surprise I wasn't in that much pain when I walked.

The taste of medicine was stuck in my mouth so the nurse unlocked the door to my own bathroom. I followed her in as she got out a "safe" tooth brush and spread some toothpaste onto it. Then the most bizarre thing happened, she actually brushed my teeth... Like she was a slave.

After brushing my teeth and tangled hair my nurse showed me to the cafeteria.

"Andi" she said pointing to girl waving at me " will be showing you around today."

Andi had shoulder length black hair and pale skin. Her clothes were red and black... She looked like a goth.

" Nice to meet you." I said politely.

Andi just pushed her black hair behind her ear and nodded.

"So... Why are you here?" I asked her.

Andi pulled up her baggy black jumper revealing her boney stomach. "I'm anorexic. I almost died from starving myself. My parents checked me in here 2 years ago... I haven't been out since." Andi said while fighting back tears.

Andi face turned from sad to confused. "They must have got your wristband wrong. Yours is red, and red means suicidal. Your too young to be...." Her voice trailed off.

"No it's right." I sighed " My parents died in a plane crash and I.." My voice got wobbly " I wanted to be with them in heaven."

Andi wrapped her arms around me and like my mother did. It was the first time I actually felt loved since my mum passed.

We walked to level one, my level. I saw lots of scared faces huddled in their beds. Wanting to get out of this stupid place... And be free!

But that was nothing compared to level two. Big men and women were standing next to the patients, not letting them out of there sight. One teen girl was shouting random words at the woman looking after her. Tears streaming down her flushed cheeks. I felt bad for her.

Andi noticed me starring and ushered me down the hall.

"Her name is Maddie. She suffers from a rare disorder where she can't talk English... Let alone any other language. She gets frustrated because no one can understand what she needs or wants." Andi mumbled.

We walked past people in wheelchairs, people with cuts all down their wrists, people who were morbidly obese and people who were even skinnier than Andi.

Eventually we were back were we started and sat down to eat.

Well, I ate.

Andi sat their picking at her food. Choking down tiny mouthfuls of food. A nurse noticed and stood by Andi.

"I won't let either if you leave until you finish your food, Andi." She warned.

Andi started to cry as she swallowed down her food. I wanted to go over to the nurse and tell her to go away. But deep down inside, I knew this was good was Andi. Her body was screaming "Feed me!"

After 45 minutes of Andi crying and eating she finished her food.

Andi stood up, grabbed onto my hand and quickly walked toward the bathroom. As we entered I noticed there were no mirrors. "Why?" I thought.

As if reading my mind Andi answered, " They don't put mirrors in because they say we could use them to hurt ourselves.

I nodded and tiptoed into one of the stalls. While I was "going" I heard someone vomiting. I quickly flushed the toilet and ran out to find Andi sticking her fingers down her throat.

My mouth was wide open as Andi noticed me.

****************************************

Andi's POV

I shivered I wiped vomit from the outside of my mouth and stuck my fingers down my throat once again.

All my food from earlier came back up making me feel awesome! I turned around and saw Belle starring at me with her mouth open.

" You should really stop Andi. Do you want to die?" Belle questioned rudely.

"Why is wanting to die so weird to you...? You already tried!" I said quickly. As soon as it came out of my mouth I regretted it!

"I'm so sorry, Belle..."

But it was too late. Belle was already crying and running away.

I slid down the wall and rested my face in my hands. No one understood me!

When I was a little kid I was big. Really big. I always got picked on.

In middle school the bullying got worse so I decided to lose weight. Suddenly my whole life revolved around being the skinniest and prettiest.

Skinny=pretty right?

WRONG!

Whenever I look in the mirror I see fat, fat, fat! So I have to lose the weight.

I am 15 and I weigh about 30kg (69 pounds). Which according to my stupid doctor, is dangerously underweight.

All I eat now is celery, since it has 0 calories.

I am trapped in a fat body.

HELP!

***************************************

Hey readers!

Do you like Andi?

I think being anorexic is terrible 😔

Anyway bye -booboohoney

PS I am not suicidal... I just liked the idea for a book!