Negan's Daughter

| Chapter 36 | Home

I sucked in a large gasp of air as I jumped up from the bed and spun around, searching for him and his black eyes staring over me like I was a manifested fantasy. Finding I was alone in the dark, I let out a shaky breath of air and slumped back down on the bed, my hands on my knees. Sweat covered my body like a second layer of skin. I placed my head in my hands.

"Get out of my head," I growled through clenched teeth. As I tried to push the memories away a small voice in the back of my head kept nagging me, he's still out there. A knock at the door made my head snap up. Walking over to the door with my knife at the ready, I thought over all the ways I could make it out of here. The window could lead me outside, I could run but they could shoot me down. I could hide- they would find me.

"Breanna," Willow called out in a voice filled with concern. My shoulder's dropped as I placed my knife back in my belt and opened the door. Willow was clad in a thick navy blue sweater, black pants, and white sneakers. Her hair was straight and untouched, unlike anyone who would have just woken up.

"What?" I barked out harsher than I meant to. She tilted her head.

"I heard you crying," Willow responded. Her eyes lurked over me, examining me for any telltale sign I was in pain.

"I'm fine," I replied. She shook her head.
"There are tears on your face." She raised a hand to my face. I stepped back and turned towards the bed.

"It was just a dream," I lied. "You should get some rest. We head back home tomorrow." Willow was quiet for a moment, as if mentioning her home had taken away her voice. She swallowed.

"Where is home for you?" She asked. I turned my head slightly to catch a glimpse of her. Her mouth was agape but her face showed she was mystified. "You know me better than anyone, yet I don't even know your last name." My gaze shifted to the floor. She was right. She told me everything about her past, right down to how it affected her family when their bookstore went under; however, the only thing she knew about me was that I carried around a picture of my family in my shoe.

"I don't have a home. Never did." Without another word I started into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. Once inside I leaned the back of my head against the door and wept. I couldn't take this much longer. I thought I wanted him to kill me to get out... now that I'm free I wish he had killed me then. I found my legs growing weaker and weaker until I was on the floor, grasping for anything to hold. Cries were lodged in my throat, making it hard to breath. I was alone, all alone, and the fear was back.

After a while I stopped crying. I had a purpose. I had to get Willow back home. After that... I pushed that thought back. Bringing myself to my feet, I opened the bathroom and entered the room. To my surprise Willow looked up at me from the bed. She had waited all night. Her forearms crossed, her eyes tired, she seemed about as ruined as me.

"I told you to get some rest," I stepped closer with a furrowed brow.

"You're not the only one who can't sleep," she replied honestly. A sick feeling invaded my stomach. She had been there longer, she had been through worse. I swallowed back the lump in my throat and nodded.

"Maybe a drive will help us?" She smiled slightly at my suggestion. Her father loved to go on long drives with her until the tank was empty and she was passed out in the passenger seat.

I pushed down on the pedal, the car jerked forward then came to an abrupt stop. Willow extended her arm to stop me.

"J-Just press lightly on the pedal, don't- no, don't put both feet down." I raised my other foot off the pedal and set it down. "Okay, now press that pedal." I pressed down and the car jerked forward, starting forward and heading towards the nearest tree. I raised my foot just before the front of the car hit the tree. Willow slammed back against the headrest, wide eyes and her skin the color of curdled milk.

"I'll drive," she insisted. I nodded.

    We spent the first few hours of the drive in silence. Alone with our thoughts, our minds were too busy to focus on any conversation. My mind swarmed around thoughts I forbid myself from thinking about once I had escaped. I couldn't help but wonder about my old group. Were they dead? Nearly a year had passed since I last saw them. My chest tightened as I thought of scenarios. Was Carl all alone now? I forced the thought to the back of my mind. He left you to die. Closing my eyes, I tried to think of something that didn't hurt as much. Maybe Willow's family was alive. If I could her to them safe and sound, all the pain I had gone through would be for something.

"Are you sleeping?" Willow whispered. I turned my head, eyes open and a small smile on my face.

"No," I answered. She kept her eyes on the road. The sun had faded and the sky was dark now.

"Do you think they're alive?" she asked.

"You know your family better than me," I replied. Willow shook her head.

"Not my family, your group." The comment had caused me to flick my gaze towards the open road.

"I never had a group." My words were cold as they left my mouth. All traces of the loving girl from the prison, from the church, were gone with the wind.

"Do you expect me to believe that?" She asked quietly. "If so, what do you spend all your time thinking about?" I smiled slightly. She was smarter than I thought.

"Why do you care, Willow? It doesn't matter."

"It does matter," she replied instantly. "It gives us hope."

"Hope for what?" I asked with a tinge of anger.

"That we're not alone. That there might be good people left in the world." She waved her hand slightly. "Didn't you have people you loved?"

"Yeah, I had." I spat back. Willow winced slightly, my tone scaring her off. We didn't talk for the rest of the ride.

    When the car ran out of gas we began to walk. The sun was rising again. Willow walked next to me with her arms wrapped around herself. I kept one hand on my knife in my belt. Glancing at her, I felt a whole in my stomach.
"Willow," I spoke up finally. "I'm sorry." The words had caught her attention. She looked over at me. "My past group isn't something I want to get into." My eyes avoided her's but her's burned holes through me.

"You loved them though, you still do," she noted. I sucked in a breath of air. Just as I opened my eyes to reply I heard gunshots. Willow and I froze in our spots. God no. Instinctively, I grabbed Willow's wrist and darted in the opposite direction. We ran until the distinct sound of moans filled our ears. WIllow stopped suddenly.

"Roamers," she whispered. My eyes flickered around until they landed on a herd closing in on us. I turned back towards her.

"Get in the tree," I spat out without thinking. She furrowed her brow at me.

"What?" She asked incredulously.

"Go! I'll lead them away. If I don't come back by night- go on without me."

"I'm not going to leave you!" Willow shouted. The walkers started towards us.

"You don't have a choice!" I spat back. My face softened as I noted her concern. "You're so close." She hesitated the understood. I couldn't live if I didn't get her back home unharmed. Finally, she turned and began to climb in the tree. I sighed in relief then turned towards the walkers. Walking towards them, I brought two fingers to my mouth and blew. They began to clamber over each other to get to me. I darted to the side, away from the tree as fast as I could. Everything seemed to fly around me, like I was in a speeding car with wind passing through me. I ran and ran and ran until finally, my foot lost it's grounding. The forest floor brought me down, spinning me around until my head hit something hard and I blacked out.