Raura: The geek and the Bad Boy

Chapter 33: A river of tears and comfort

Laura Pov:

I thought things would be different. I started to trust Ross. I started to feel me again and now I know that's never gonna happen. I guess that's what happens when you start to fall in love, at first everything seemed perfect and after a while you discover the real person. 

But the important question: was I falling in love? 

I only got one simple reply to that. Yes, yes! I was falling in love. I was madly falling in love. I let down my walls and I thought for once I had found someone who felt the same, who was falling in love with me too. You may think that this is crazy, It is crazy! I barely even know him.

I was crying the whole time. I was home for over a few hours now and I just couldn't stop the tears from falling down on my cheeks. I decided to take a shower before someone came home. It was barely even 5 pm, but after the shower I rolled up in bed underneath a few blankets. I thought sleeping would help maybe but I couldn't close my eyes  without replaying every single thing that had happened. I was tired but not enough to sleep.

So instead of sleeping I started thinking: Why did those things always happen to me? Why couldn't they happen to one of those perfect plastic girls who had the perfect life? Those who would easily get every freaking perfect boy the wanted, wrap them around their finger and live happily ever after. 

Why oh why did I have to fall in love with someone who wasn't who I thought he was?

Suddenly my phone rang, I was afraid it would be Ross again - he had called over a hundert times since I left him in the mall - but this time it was Raini. I didn't want to pick up but she kept calling so I had no choice.

"Laura!" She sounded worried and relieved at the same time. I couldn't even say anything back to her. I felt like I lost my voice... Again. 

No you're stronger than this Laura, stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time. 

"How are you doing? Seemed like Ross and you got in a serious fight! I tried to call you a thousand times before you picked up. Are you okay? You can tell me you know that right?!" With those words echoing in my ear I finally knew what I had to do in the first place... I told her everything. Every single thing, even about my past. Raini was quiet the whole time, but I knew she was listening because sometimes she would gasp and say something like: unbelievable. 

After I told her I felt relieved. Crazy how ever since I told Ross it didn't seem to be so bad to tell anymore, but of course I knew that I could trust Raini with my life and besides maybe I had to get used at people knowing. I was quite sure that by now Ross would've told everyone. But then again, it was still the same Ross. He was sweet and caring he wouldn't betray me, right?

"Laura, omg that is the most horrible story ever. Please tell me this isn't actually true!" Shocked was the least you could say about Raini's voice. "I wish I could" I said quiet and honest. "Why haven't you told me before? It doesn't matter though, all that matters is that I have to see you! Hug you tight, can I come over?" she asked and I was confused. "Wait you still want to see me? Hang out with me? After all these horrible things?" "Of course! You're my best friend and I'm yours which means I have to be here for you. I don't care what you went through in the past, I mean I do care but it doesn't change anything about how I feel about being your friend Laura. You're still this amazing girl and this makes me even realize you're even much greater and braver! At least you try to pick up every piece, step by step. I know many people who could not bring up the strenght." "You make me sound much braver than I am Raini, have you even heard what I said? I'm a 100% damaged wreck right now." "I'm here for you to help you get over that stage of life. You still haven't answered my question though! Can I come over? It would be much easier to have this talk in real life. I bet you could use a sleepover to clear everything up. Believe me it will help and you only have to say what you want, you can leave out stuff if you find it too painful." "I love you Raini, you are simply put the best person ever" I simply replied, I heard a soft chuckle on the other side. "I would love to have a sleepover, I'm sure my mother won't mind" "Great see you in 20, love you" and she hung up. This talk made my pain go away, at least a little piece of it. I looked forward on seeing Raini and having someone who would actually listen to me and just let me talk.

My phone rung again, I thought it was Raini so I picked up. "Hi Raini, what's up? Is there any reason why you can't-" before I could finish my sentence I was interrupted by a guys voice: Ross'. "Laura!! I'm so happy you picked up! I'm so so so sorry! I called you so many times and then suddenly I couldn't reach you anymore. I thought you had blocked me or or... or that something had happened to me! Thank God, you're okay! You're okay right? Of course you aren't I mean I was such a crapy person to you and you don't deserve it. Maybe I should stop talking..." I wanted to say: glad you say it yourself. But I didn't. I was still upset with him but at the same time: hearing his name felt so... familiar and right. Like I was meant to hear his voice.  It reminded me of Liam, that feeling to love someone so deeply to have regret not hearing his voice anymore. After things with Liam ended - the first time - I was so stupid and kept imagining his voice. I was the one to call him a hundert times just to hear his voice or even his voice mail. I was so stupid. I wouldn't make that mistake twice.

Still a little voice in my head kept saying: Maybe Ross really is different, maybe he's the love of your life and his intentions are true.

"I wasn't suppose to pick up the phone." I said and maybe that was a little cruel. So I also said: "Maybe for the good. Look Ross, I know you aren't like Liam" It felt difficult to speak his name out loud, even after all this time. "I hope you do because what he did was so wrong and I would never ever betray you like that. I care about you Laura, I really really do and I know you don't believe me and I understand. But there will never come a day that I don't and you need to hear closely to every word I'm going to say now. I will never ever let you down again if you give me another chance, I'll prove it to you. I love you Laura and there's no pressure, just being your friend is enough for me. It's more than enough. I know things will never be the same but I won't give up, I never know. And you need to realize that."