Daughter of Swift + Bk 4 (Haylor&DustinFF) (Completed)

Chapter 5 ~ Don't Look Back

~  Quote  ~ When everyone is looking forward who do you want to be?

Darcy’s POV:

~ The Day After Christmas

I woke up in the comfort of my home. I was curled into a ball on my bed. I had no idea of quite a few things. For one thing I did know, I knew I had missed Christmas and the chance to apologise to my parents. I stared at the calendar, hoping by some miracle I could replay Christmas and the scene that un folded in my fathers office. But no amount of wishing it was making such a thing happen. I knew also work wasn’t going to begin until mid January. I sighed turning away from the calendar, my eyes coming to rest on the blinking phone. I had messages, six to be exact. I replayed them. There was one from Mum, one from Dad, one from Auntie Eleanor, one from Auntie Gemma, one from Bec, and one from Justin.

I sighed. All the voices were frantic and urgent, except Justin’s his tone causal, simply asking if I was managing, if I was okay, if I needed anything. Yesterday was slowly creping back and unfolding within my memory. He had come for me early in the morning and driven me here. I was dizzy with the thought of him rescuing me from drinking too much. He had come for me. I had called him. I remember explaining him the situation. I had woken him up, but yet he came for me.

I poured myself a coffee and sat down. I had told myself more then once that I shouldn’t drink so much so often. Get it under control. But I didn’t feel I could manage that. My mind wandered to when I’d be able to have my next drink, sweet red wine, liquid that made the black past just a bit duller. But still helped in it usual way. My vision of the alcoholic drink was twisted as Bec would tell me, but I didn’t see it that way simply thinking I had to be loyal to the drink that had helped me in so many ways for a short amount of time, and the price to pay was in the mornings, when I attended work sort of out of it, I had the drink to thank when Mum and Dad or Bec would try to remind me, my lifestyle wasn’t one that was particular healthy, it blanked it out, made it seem no true.

I sighed drinking coffee didn’t seem near enough before many years before my introduction to alcohol it did. A coffee fixed soothed me, even sugar; something fatty was enough for me to just smile now. I needed a full wine bottle each night or even two, or three if it was that bad. 

The phone rang, my thoughts erupting and crashing down. Leaving me in my quiet kitchen. I shakily got up to get the phone, unsure of the caller, unsure what they’ll say. What if it was Mum or Dad? How could I ever begin to explain? I couldn’t I realised. Would I slam the phone down? Would I cry? What would I do?

I wasn’t sure. Shakily, I lifted up the receiver and pressed it to my ear. “Hello this is Darcy,” I said into it.

With a brief sigh I waited.

“Darcy its Justin” came the voice on the end.

My heart, practically leaped, but then it found its way back down again with a loud reminder. “Hi Justin” I said calmly.

“Are you okay?” came his clear concerned voice.

“Fine” I nodded to myself.

“That’s good” he told me “do you need anything?”

I wondered if he was implying company. I wasn’t sure I could handle that, I reminded myself I had made quite a fool by asking for a lift, cause I was to out of it to drive. I couldn’t apologise to my parents, and I couldn’t even look after myself. How on earth would I cope with the company of my ex’s boyfriend’s best friend?

The silence rested on me, making me aware Justin was wasting on a reply.

“I’m okay thanks” I realised I lied to him, and I did it very well. Okay was an understatement of the matter. I was in no way okay.