Adventures in Wonderland

Chapter 6

The Hare and the Hatter

I'm still running, but the Bandersnatch isn't chasing me any more. It's gotten darker and harder to see. The gashes on my arm is really starting to hurt. Panting, I stop in the middle of a heavily wooded area to look at my wounds. Suddenly I hear a voice coming seemingly out of nowhere, "It looks like you ran afoul of something with wicked claws." I spin around to see the disembodied head of a cat hovering midair. The fact that he's only a floating head is not the only strange thing about him. He's also got a smile that splits his face in half, from ear to ear. "Hmmm, I never thought I'd see a smiling cat head." I talk aloud to myself. If possible his smil got even wider. "What did that to you?" I look at my upper arm and the three large gashes. "Banner...? Bander...?" I try to get the name right but can't remember.

"The Bandersnatch? I'd better have a look" the cat disappears then reappears as a whole cat right next to me. I jump a bit in surprise. He's calm and oddly sensual with a seductive grin. He inspects my wounds then tries to lick it but before he can I take a step back. "What are you doing?"

"It needs to be purified by someone with evaporating skills or it will fester and putrefy." He says very calmly while floating upsidedown in the air. "No thank you. I'll be fine as soon as I get out of here." I know, sadly, that this place isn't real. I just hit my head and I'm dreaming. "At least let me bind it for you." I allow him to use his handkerchief to bind my wounds. "What do you call yourself?" He ask after he finishes with my arm.

"Lily."

He looks up at me in excitement, "The Lily?" I roll my eyes. "Not this again..." I mumble. "It really depends on who you ask." I huff out irritated. "I never get involved in politics anyways. You'd best be on your way." I'm confused because I don't even know where I'm at to begin with. "What way? All I want to do is wake up from this dream!" I'm starting to get really agitated. He sighs like I'M the one agitating HIM. "Fine. I'll take you to the Hare and the Hatter. But that's the end of it." Suddenly he disappears. I looks around thinking he might still be around me. Then he reappears up ahead of me. "Coming?" There's nothing else for me to do but follow.

~~~~~~~~~~~

We soon come upon three people having tea. The tea set is an odd mixture of cracked pots and chipped cups. The tablecloth is stained and fraying, the chairs lopsided. At the head of the table is a man wearing a ragged and scorched top hat with orange-ish red hair and pale skin slumps in one of the lopsided chairs. He stares into space looking glum. Even his clothes reflect his gloomy mood. I'm guessing that this is the Hatter. He's starting into space looking pale and morose. On his right is a humanoid rabbit which I'm guessing is the Hare. He seems paranoid and anxious, constantly wringing his paws and long ears. The dormouse has arrived ahead of me.

A twig snaps under my foot rather loudly. "What? Who? Who's there?" The Hare says looking around frantically. The cat goes on ahead of me to the table.

Suddenly the Hatter bolts upright. He brightens, even his clothes perk up. Looking at me the entire time, he gets up and walks across the top of the table, not caring that he's stepping on plates and cups. Once he gets to me, since I'm now shorter than normal, he has to bend down to be at my eye level. He studies me intently then smiles. "It's you... It's really you."

"No, its not. McTwisp brought us the wrong Lily." The dormouse says matter-of-factly. 'I guess the white rabbit's name is McTwisp.' I think. Hatter turns to the others. "It's absolutely Lily." He turns back to me. "You're absolutely Lily. I'd know you anywhere." He turns to the others. "I'd know him anywhere." The Hare and dormouse giggle and I smile a bit. He takes my hand and pulls me back over the top of the table. Despite my better judgement, I blush when he takes ahold of my hand. I just hope no one noticed the blush spreading across my face and thankfully no one does. I try not to step on any teacups for fear of getting soaked in tea. He plucks me down in the chair next to his.

"Well as you can see we're still having tea. It's all because I was obliged to kill Time waiting for your return. You're terribly late, you know?... Naughty. Well anyway, Time became quite offended and stopped altogether. Not a tick ever since." He shrugs as if its no big deal. "I guess Time is funny like that." He nods his head vigorously, "Yes yes, of course. But you're back now, you see, and we need to get onto the Frabjous Day. I'm investigating things that begin with the letter M." My head is spinning from all this new information, and how quickly me managed to change subjects. But he just continues, "Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?" He's rather serious now but suddenly the dormouse, Hare, and Hatter yell out: "Downal with Bluddy Behg Hid!"

"What?" I'm didn't quite understand what they said. Finally the cat speaks up, "Down with the Bloody Big Head. Bloody Big Head being the Red Queen." I nod my head in understanding before the dormouse exclaims, "Its a language used by us: The Underland Underground Resistants." The Hatter claps his hands a couple times. "Come, come. We simple must commence with the slaying and such. Therefore, its high time for Time to forgive and forget. Or forget and forgive, whichever comes first. Or in any case, most convenient... I'm waiting." Then we wait. The Hare taps his watch, listens to it, dips it into his teacup, and listens to it again. "It's ticking again!"

The cat puts his tea cup down with disgust. "All this talk of blood and slaying has put me off my tea." I glance at the Hatter and he seems a bit angry. "The entire world is falling to ruin and poor Chessur's. Off. His. Tea." The Hatter's getting angrier by the second and oddly enough his eyes start to turn from green to yellow. The cat - Chessur's?- gets defensive. "What happened that day was not my fault!" Enraged the Hatter slams both hands down on the table. Cups and teapots go flying. "You ran out on them to save your own skin! You guddler's scuttish pilgar lickering..." Now the Hatter was talking in a Scottish accent. By now the Hatter is up and moving towards Chessur. I'm not exactly sure what the Hatter is saying but by he way he's saying it it can't be good. "Whats going on?" I ask before Chessur puts his paws over my ears but I can still hear everything. The Hatter keeps cursing faster and faster. It seems as if he can't stop himself. "... Shukem juggling sluking ur-pals. Bar lom muck egg brimni!" His words are getting louder and faster as he speaks. "Hatter!" The dormouse yells at him. The Hatter jerks up and pulls himself back into the moment. "Fez? Thank you. I'm fine." Chessur removes his paws from my ears.

The Hatter sits back down. "What happened to you, Tarrent? You used to be the life of the party. You used to do the best Futterwacken in all of Witzend." Chessur says. I have to ask, "Futter what?"

"Futterwacken!" The Hare exclaims as he does a little dance, then more calmly holds up a spoon and says, "Spoon." The dormouse cuts in. "It's a dance." She says it like I'm stupid and should already know what it is. "On the Frabjous Day, when the White Queen once again wears the crown, again. On that day, I'll Futterwacken... Vigorously." Hatter faintly smiles. I can't wait to see what a Futterwacken looks like.

Then there's a bark in the distance and everyone but me becomes tense. "Goodbye." Chessur disappears and takes the Hare's hiding spot with him. "Whats going on?" I ask. "Drink this. Quick." The Hatter says as he pulls out a small bottle. "Oh, no..." The liquid is forced down my throat. I can feel myself start to shrink and I know I'm tiny because of how huge everything else is. The Hatter shoves me into an empty teapot and crams my now oversized clothes in behind me. "Mind your head." Is the last thing he tells me before he closes the lid.