Finding Myself 2 (Winters Kiss)

Depression and Rehab

Lunch came around and I was more than a little depressed. I would have to say bye to Blake but I at least I had a little time to spend with him before he left. He had already been called off so he was staying just to hang out with me at lunch and wait on Shane. It's not like he's going away for a 4 or 6 months but it was just the whole situation. I wasn't happy about it and I sure as hell wasn't ok with it, but it was Blakes dream and who was I to take that way from him? If I stopped him from persuing his dream just because I needed him he would never forgive me for that.

I saw him waiting for me by the canteen intrance with his guitar strapped to his back and smoke blowing out of his mouth. Blake didn't smoke around me even before he found out I was pregnant. I looked at him, he had the brightest smile on his face. I knew it was partcialy from seeing me but mostly the hyped of going out on the road. I walked up to him and he immediatly pulled me into his warm embrace. I took a deep breath and inhaled his scent. He smelled like strawberries and surprisingly only a hint of nicotein

We walked into the canteen and began to look for Kelsey in our usual spot. Since it started to get cold out we came inside and found a spot close to the back. She wasn't there but we took our seats anyways. Blake went and got me food, lately I've been craving chicken so that's exactly what I got. I knew that most of this was so that he made sure I ate. I started to eat and listened to Blake talk to me about him leaving this weekend.

"I'll be back soon. It'll be like I never left." He said trying to make me feel better but I just gave him a dirty look.

"I know you don't think that but Blair I really don't want you at home all weekend moping around. I can't go out their everynight knowing that I did that to you." He gave me a cute pouty smile.

I wiped my mouth and finished my bite before looking at him.

"I'm going to miss you and I'm going to be sad. That I can't help because the guy I love will be away doing shows with a guy who likes him and tons of drunk guys and girls." I said, "And don't you give me that pouty face."

He laughed, "Fine but I promise to you that I'll make it up to you when I get back. I won't be gone for long."

"Where's he going?" Kelsey asked taking a seat across from us with her food.

I debated on telling her everything. I mean she was my best friend and all but she already had alot of things to worry about. I also wasn't in the mood to start crying and upset Blake before he had to go.

"Tour starts today. Band. He gets back Sunday night slash Monday morning." I said just to give her a short story. She's been so preocupied with all of the things that's going on she doesn't even give me the third degree about much anymore.

"Well that's not so bad. At least he isn't gone to rehab and leaves you to take care of your two baby siblings while you're pregnant." She said and I noticed her stabbing her nachos intensely.

She looked up at us and flushed a little, "I'm sorry. I'm just really stressed and I'm doing this all on my own until Matty comes back in December."

"It's okay hun. You've always got me." I said even though I knew I wasn't helping. I told Kelsey to text me later if she was in the mood to talk. I had to work tonight so I couldn't hang out.

Blake and I walked out to the parking lot and waited on Shane. He called and told us he was getting off of the highway so he would be here any minute. Blake pulled me into a tight secure hug and just held me. I closed my eyes and took in that moment. We heard the car pull up and Blaked gave me a deep kiss and got into the van. I watched as they drove away and he turned in the car and sent me raspberries. I smiled and once he was out of view I sat down at the fountain and cried.