Carl Azuz - A Scoop to Remember

Penultimate Pun

Carl Azuz woke up to the sudden feeling of being weightless.

"You ok back there, rookie?" Asked Buzz.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Said Carl. He wiped off the enormous amount of vomit from them side of his helmet.

"Good. We'll be at the rendezvous point in 45 minutes. We'll have to make a pit stop at the ISS first to refuel."

Carl exercised his vocal cords and began thinking about what he would say. After all, this was pretty much the most important part of his entire career. He had one chance to save humanity from extinction.

"Speaking for the people of Earth... No, that sounds tacky. On behalf of the people of Earth... Ah, that's more like it." He though.

Before long, they arrived at the International Space Station, and docked. While Buzz Aldrin began the refueling process, Carl Azuz headed up to meet the astronauts aboard the station. They seemed much more calm about the situation than anyone else.

"So, yeah man, we really hope your thing works out." one of them said.

They were probably more calm because the Space Station Self-Sufficiency Act of 2018 meant that the space station could be entirely self-dependent. Not that any of this matters to the story, of course.

"So do you folks have any tips for me? I don't have much zero-g training."

"Nope."

"Ok, since it's apparent you guy aren't going to be any help, I'll be on my way."

Carl floated his way back to the shuttle.

"Alright, we're all fueled up and ready to go." said Buzz. "Let's blow this dump."

And they were off, back on their adventure to save the world.

"Wow, those guys were real Ass-tronauts, amirite?" Said Carl.

"You know," started Buzz. "If I killed you right now, nobody would have to know about it?"