"I used to have this problem." Killua began, his voice stronger and steadier than Gon's. "Whenever I would fight an enemy who I thought was stronger than me, I'd fight with some form of a strategy of running away. It would be the only thing I thought about while fighting." Killua began. Kurapika payed close attention to Killua as his fists clenched.
"Bisky, she said that one day.....I'd leave Gon to die." He continued. Gon looked at Killua sadly, and touched his arm. Kurapika thought of it as a signal. A form of communication between the two. It was like Gon was reassuring Killua. That he didn't leave Gon to die. "I honestly can't lie. That way of thinking saved my life a few times, so it was never a problem." He added.
Killua glanced at Gon, and Kurapika quickly figured that Gon was the one that changed that. "I was so worried that I'd get Gon and I killed. Or even worse. That Bisky would be right and I'd leave Gon to die." He sighed. "Before returning to the NGL after running away from Pitou and Kite-" Gon stiffened a bit at the mention of Kite.
Kurapika figured it was a sensitive topic for Gon. "Gon had to go about a month without his Nen. And I vowed to protect him." Killua continued on. Kurapika couldn't help but feel guiltily. He was practically making his friends relive and share their worst experiences.
"I was actually going to leave after that month. Before I ended up betraying him. But I couldn't. A Chimera Ant found us before Gon got his Nen back. He was stronger than me. A greater level of Nen at least." Killua sighed softly and the grip on his fists tightened a bit. "I didn't run away. I couldn't run away and leave Gon. But...there was this pain in my head. I felt...frozen I guess. And even if I wanted to, I wasn't able to run. I had decided to protect Gon, and I wasn't gonna break that promise. Even if it meant dying." Killua explained.
Gon slightly shifted next to him, probably trying to get more comfortable. "The pain in my head grew. Whenever I fought someone with a stronger Nen, I could hear my brother telling me to run away, don't fight someone stronger than you. His weapon was needles. So I had an idea." Bringing up Illumi, Killua's brother seemed to bother Gon more than the thought of death. Gon clenched his fists as well and lowered his gaze. Kurapika couldn't see his expression anymore.
"I had thought that Illumi planted a needle in my head. To control me. To make sure I didn't fight someone stronger. And my theory was right. So, I ripped it out. Hurt like hell, but I got it out. After that, I killed the Ant." Killua finished. Kurapika was almost surprised by the simple finish. Almost.
"After we got back to the NGL, same thing Killua said. I completely lost it. I was so distracted that I forgot Killua was hurting too." Gon started, taking over from where Killua left off. "Baka. You didn't forget. I never told you to begin with." Killua mumbled. Gon frowned. Kurapika could practically tell what Gon was thinking. Gon was observant. He was instinctive. And not evening realizing that there was something bothering his friend was even worse than forgetting in the spur of the moment.
Killua seemed to notice Gon's thinking too. He lightly, playfully fist bumped Gon's shoulder. "I never mentioned it. Remember? I'm awesome at hiding things." Killua says softly, trying to make his friend feel better. It didn't seem like it helped much though. "Basically, he said some stuff that hurt, went off alone to kill Pitou while I was fighting Yuupi -another Chimera Ant and a Royal Guard- got himself pretty beat up in the process. I got there just in time to scream his name and watch the ending." Killua concluded.
Once again, Killua ended it simply. But Kurapika understood why. Talking about something like this. It was a challenge to overcome all on its own. And the detail. The details are what probably hurt the two the most. They're the things that put that mental image in your head. And Kurapika was one-hundred percent sure Gon and Killua did not want to imagine it. Gon then picked up the story again. "I said he didn't care -that he didn't care that Kite was dead- that Kite meant nothing to him." Gon continued, his voice small.
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We Only Have Each Other (KilluaXGon & KurapikaXLeorio)
FanfictionKurapika decides to return back home to Leorio, Gon and Killua. Some things have changed greatly. So many things have happened that Gon, Killua and Leorio don't know where to start. Or rather, Gon and Killua can't start. New feelings arise, and with...