The Things I Remember About Frank Iero

f i r s t

Before I even knew what love even was, I fell in love.
I was in eighth grade, and Frank Iero was in seventh. I fell for Frank Iero, hard. He was perfect in every way: cute, funny, nice (but in a bitchy sort of way), sort of smart but not too smart, and just overall a really good friend (to me).
We met after school one day. He was wearing a Blink-182 sweatshirt and I had an Iron Maiden necklace. Instant friends.
Ray and Mikey were always second priority when Frank was around. If Mikey was cold, but Frank was too, Frank got my jacket. If Ray wanted me to come over but so did Frank, I would go to Frank's house.
But things don't always end well when it's a middle school crush. Middle school crushes aren't matches made in heaven and they aren't meant to last. I made a mistake by thinking they would.

~

Frank naturally smelled like chocolate. He's even said it himself.
The day we officially met, he gave me his Blink-182 sweatshirt, to borrow for as long as I wanted.
I didn't take it off until I had to shower that night, and when I went to put it back on, a caught a little smell of it. It smelled amazing. I could never put my finger on what it was that it smelled like, because it wasn't just chocolate. It was listening to your favorite band; drinking your first cup of coffee in the morning; driving at night when it's raining; Christmas lights while it's snowing; Christofori's Dream on piano; a quiet guitar with some dramatic singing; kissing your first boyfriend; falling asleep next to someone you love; writing poems under a tree. It was everything I loved and more, and I don't even know why. It was just a sweaty sweatshirt that happened to have a band's name that I liked on it that belonged to an extremely attractive boy from school.
But to me, it was a sweet smelling sweater that your boyfriend gave you when you were cold.
Because Frank wasn't just an extremely attractive boy from school.
He was an extremely attractive boy from school that I happened to have a crush on.

~

Frank was straight. I knew from the beginning. It was wet outside, and we walked next to each other, up to Frank's house.
"People keep asking if I'm bi." He said.
"Mhm," I said, nodding my head to tell him to go on, my heart thumping in my chest.
"I don't really understand why."
I do.
"I mean, I've been straight my whole life, it's not like that's gonna change now."
I didn't say anything at all. No words, just my heart sinking in my chest. I didn't cry; I knew too well that this was going to happen. It didn't matter.
Not to me.

~

I knocked on Frank's door on Halloween night. Frank's thirteenth birthday. We were the same age, at least until April. Mikey stood nervously behind me; he didn't like Frank too much, but I convinced him to come with me to Frank's birthday party instead of going trick-or-treating, since Pete would be there.
Frank opened the door and grinned at me. "Hey, Gee!" he tilted his head to the side so he could see Mikey. "Hi,"
Mikey nodded, but didn't say anything.
I smiled as Frank let us inside. We set down our stuff and Frank showed us around his house. It wasn't very big, and like my house, was only one floor. But he had one think I didn't have; Frank had a pool. I don't know why it was so amazing and cool at the time, because other people I knew had pools, but it was.
A little while later, Ray arrived, and so did Pete. Apparently we were the only people that Frank invited, which surprised me, because Mikey was just my younger brother who happened to be the same age as Frank, Ray was just my friend, and Pete was just Mikey's friend. (But I guess Pete and Frank were friends, I don't know) Frank didn't even really know them. But even so, we had a good time at the party.
Eventually, around one AM or so, Mikey and Pete fell asleep on the couch while we were watching a movie. Ray kept making these gay jokes about the two, talking about how as soon as we left, they'd be "fuckin' on the couch".
Ray eventually fell asleep as well, at least a few hours later, and me and Frank were the only two still awake.
Frank led me outside, and we stood next to the pool. The water was calm and the air was cool. Definitely not cold, but I was not gonna go swimming.
"Am I going to have to push you?" Frank asked, grinning.
"Oh, yeah, and you'll get in after me." I rolled my eyes.
"No, I will, I swear."
"Like I believe you."
"Shut up, Gerard." Frank laughed and shoved me and I fell into the pool, getting completely drenched.
I could hear Frank giggling like an idiot until I fell into the water, forgetting that I couldn't breathe water. I tried to take a breath but took in water instead, and I swam to the surface, coughing up water and gasping for air. When I finally could breathe again, I turned my head to see Frank laughing his ass off.
"'Ts'not funny!" I said, splashing him with water before swimming to the side of the pool and pulling myself out of the water. "Now I'm wet as fuck!"
Frank kept laughing. "You look hilarious."
"Shut up." I gave him a playful glare and took off my wet shirt.
Frank was silent for a moment, his eyes right on me. I felt my cheeks heating up as he stared, but after a few more seconds, he spoke again. "I, uh, let's go inside."
We walked inside and upstairs to Frank's bedroom, and I put my dry jacket on and a pair of sweats I had brought. Frank changed into shorts and we sat down on his bed.
After talking for another hour and a half, we reached that stage of tiredness where nothing even seems real. Without thinking, we both lied down, and fell asleep.
"Hey!"
I jolted awake at the sound of Ray's voice and rubbed at my eyes. "What time is it...?"
"Seven twenty-seven." Ray said, shaking Frank, who was still asleep next to me. He groaned and pushed Ray away before burying his face in his pillow.
"Just leave..." I mumbled, lying back down.
It took me a good ten minutes of convincing before Ray actually left. Looking at Frank, he seemed to be asleep again, breathing steadily and easily.
I never did get any more sleep. I just stared at the ceiling for a while, and then at Frank.
The only person besides Mikey to ever sleep in the same bed as me.