Heal Me (Irony)

B - side

Dhez sat on the kitchen chair looking outside the window. She found Jonghyun yesterday completely miserable.

His shirt was dirty and he hasnt shaven in more than a week. The stubble on his face made him look like a hobo. She cant help but cup his face with her hand. She didnt say anything but it seems Jonghyun was having an internal dialogue with himself.

" You left me." He said, his voice breaking as tears fell from his closed eyelids.

Dhez couldnt stop herself from asking... "Did I? Why would I do that?" She thought he will not answer but he did. And his answer broke her heart.

"Because ...because Im a fool. Because Im a liar.." He was crying openly. Sobs rocked his chest and Dhez felt that her heart hurt so much she cried with him.

" Come back please..." He sobbed.

That was how Yonghwa found them. She was kneeling beside her drunk husband crying with him. Yonghwa rushed to her and hug her while Jenna went to the kitchen to get her a glass of water.

Then they sat down near Jonghyun. Talking in hushed voices. She was surprised when he suddenly bolted. Looking at her and Yonghwa as if they were doing something wrong.

She saw how Jonghyun's hands clench at his side. His eyes darting between her and Yonghwa.

Then he rushed out Yonghwa following him soon after calling Minhyuk and Jungshin on the phone.

" You should rest Dhez." Jenna told her as she led her to their room. " does your mom know?" She asked and Dhez shake her head. She doesnt want to tell her mom because she might forbid her to come back to Korea.

" She said she will take care of Haru and they will travel to Europe. Maybe its for the best. I dont want Haru to see his dad like this."

Jenna nodded in understanding and after a while she left to go home.

The door opened and Dhez stayed where she is. She look up to see Jonghyun. His face cleaned and newly shaved. His clothes are a bit small maybe its Yonghwa's. His eyes have dark circles in them.

" Dhez..." His voice still has that power to make her knees turn to jelly. His presence still makes her heart pound like crazy. His eyes still seem to look into her soul.
" I..I want to ....talk." He said.

She nod her head and gestured to the chair next to her. She cant understand what happened. She never had the inkling that he has someone else. He's always sweet to her. He always cared.

Jonghyun cleared his throat as he sat down. He look at his wifes face. He can tell that she cried herself to sleep. Her eyes are a bit puffy and she look so tired.

" Dhez..its not... Its not what you think. " he started to say. His eyes on his hands. He knew the truth but he cant tell her. He doesnt want her hurt.

" then what is it Hyun?" Dhez voice is soft and a little rasp. Clearl signs that she has been crying before he arrived. " why did she hug you when you try to go to me?"

" she was lonely." Jonghyun answered. He look at her eyes. He can tell that she doesnt believe him. " I was comforting her. I cant let her feel like that. She needs a friend." He look down again on his hands.

" do you love her?" He heard her ask. He sighed. " when...when you hug her...did you feel something?" His panicked eyes suddenly found hers and he saw her flinch. She knew. She knew that he feels something for Seung Yun!

" am I not enough Hyun?" She ask as tears fell on her cheeks.

Jonghyun's chest crushed. Shes crying. He made her cry! He immediately kneeled in front of Dhez. " No. Dont cry please. Its just a moment of weakness. I love you. Dhez, I love you." He held her face in between his hands and look in her eyes. He can see the pain that shes hiding and he cringed. He embraced her tight. Pulling her to his chest. " Im sorry baby." He said as he felt her shoulder shake.

" Oh God Im sorry Dhez. Please dont cry!"

He held her for what seemes like hours but in reality its just minutes. He felt the agony of knowing that its his fault. Whats worst is he is lying to her.

" its over. She left. That day that you saw us she left me. Im not going back to her Dhez please believe me." He was begging for her to understand. Just seeing her cry made him want to kick himself.

Didnt he say he will always be faithful?

He rock her to and fro as she cried some more. Then when he felt her body sagged to him, Jonghyun carried Dhez to their room.

He gently lay her down on the bed. He smoothed the hair off her face. Then he lie down next to her. Dhez turned to her side facing away from him. Its hurt him that she doesnt want to look at him but he didnt say anything. Instead, his hands crept to her waist and hug her close. Her back to him. He placed his head on her neck and stayes there.

" Im sorry. You dont know how much I loathe myself right now. I dont know what came over me." His voice is muffled but Dhez can hear him clearly.

" How long?" She asked.

" I dont think..." She gasp when he tried to downplay it. " answer me Hyun.."

" two months. I..we..." He took a deep breath. " we were meeting at that cafe. Were just talking Dhez." He said quietly. "Shes been having a hard time after WGM. She just need someone to talk to."

Dhez turn to look at Jonghyun. She look at his face. Guilt was eating him and her heart ache again. She knew that he has a good heart. Thats why she fell for him. Thats the reason why for her, he's the best that ever happend in her life. Maybe he really just wanted to help Seung Yun. Being close with someone else made him vulnerable.

" lets stop this. " She told him and his eyes widened. Fear evident in his face. " lets forget about this. As long as youre not going to see her again."

Jonghyun heaved a sigh of relief at her words. He kissed her forehead. Letting his lips linger on her skin. Dhez has a soft and kind heart. He is lucky that she forgives easily.

" Im only going to be in love with you Dhez." He softly swear. Dhez smiled a little and he calmed down. Shes not going to leave me! His mind eased up. They stayed like that till they fell asleep in each others arms.

" I cant let him go away from me!" Seung Yun shouted and immediately she felt a slap on her face.

" If you hadnt walkes out he would still be with you!"

She look at the woman in front of her. Her hand caressing her face. Shes sure its red because she can still feel the sting.

" He wanted to leave me when he saw his wife. What do you want me to do?" She sullenly replied and the woman look at her sharply.

" you need him Seung Yun. You know what will happen once he leave you. " there was malice in her voice. Seung Yun look at her in alarm.

" no. Give me another chance please!" She hate begging but she has to.

The woman smiled at her but it didnt reach her eyes. " ok. Last chance Seung Yun. Do it right this time."