BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

YEARS OF MOURNING

"..sometimes goodbye's are not forever.."

                                  xixi

CHAPTER FIVE

years later...

Its been 6 years,after college,and its like forever waiting for Cyrus..sabi nga nila,mag move on na rin pag may time, i think i must move on..

Hi baby,how are you?Sean Velez my longest suitor since college..he became my friend though, nadala na ako sa pakikipag close kahit kanino,so Sean and I are friends but not that close,isa pa,masugid at makulit ko siyang manliligaw..

Oh,hi Sean,please dont call me that way, my God its giving me creeps..

Hay naku,Sam,if we only feel the same way, it would be so nice to your ears,but im not pressuring you..hihintayin ko pa rin ang matamis mong "oo"..

Heh!tumigil kah Sean! Alam mo namang hindi pa talaga ako handa,marami pa akong kelangang tapusin..

Tapusin?like what?nuon sabi  mo magtatapos ka muna ng college,ngayon namang tapos na tayo, hindi kana naman handa uli,kelan ka magiging handa?

Sean, I thought..? Sean didnt make me finish my word..

Ok,ok, im sorry, just dont make me stop what i love to do, im sorry if i made you feel pressured, at times like these,natatakot lang akong mawala ka Sam..

Sean, i told you not to put much time and efforts on me,coz i may not able to reciprocate the things you expected from me, im sorry Sean,but i really cant, hindi pa talaga ako handa to let any man to replace Cy here in my heart,

Wow naman Sam,harap harapan na talaga tong pangba basted mo sa akin? Maghihintay pa rin ako Sam..

So,hows your work as a new promoted employee Sam?

Hay naku kuya Xander, kung pwede magpademote uli hindi ko na tatangapin ang new job description ko gosh!ang hirap,but its challenging though..

I know kaya mo yan Sam..ikaw pa?anyway we have news for you..

Whats it all about kuya?

What i heard from kuya Xander strucked me,and hindi ako halos makahinga sa sikip ng dibdib ko, it made me wanna cry,and shout so loud para maibsan ang sakit na naramdaman ko, isa lang rumihistro sa utak ko,sa lahat ng sinabi ni kuya Xander,isa lang,that HE IS BACK..CY IS BACK..

My thoughts are in chaos,parang nadisorient and utak ko,i was used to just set aside everything about Cy, I am slowly learning to get used to it, kahit na alam kong hindi naman talaga siya nawawala sa isip ko..

Its another day, waking each day seems so hard to do then.. Ngayong alam ko nang andito na uli si Cy, I have been like an awakening zombie.."zombie in the making" eka nga.  I couldn't sleep well.. hindi ako mapakali.. hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong magsaya or malungkot..or siguro pwede nang tumalon na lang ako sa bangin (may ganern talaga?)..

Lahat sila masaya..as in masayang masaya..pero bakit ako hindi? bakit hindi ko magawang maging masaya? I was really hoping that sana hindi na bumalik si Cy,because parang ang hirap uli mag move on..

"hello Sam? saan ka na?" 

"andito na kami kina Kuya Xander, aba!aba! wag mong sasabihing hindi ka pupunta? Naku!! talagang malilintikan ka sa amin Samantha!"

"papunta na nga! coming!on the way!" Sam said on the other line, Kuya Xanders's friends called her. They are throwing a Welcome back Party for Cy, and that is the reason kung bakit parang ayaw niyang sumipot. It felt like she is putting herself into some awkward situation.

"Bahala na si Batman!" Sam said in her thought.

                                                     *********

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