Pillow Talk

5.

"Liz, can't we talk about this?" I heard him yelling from behind me, but all I could do was continue to walk away as fast as I could. "Liz, come on, I tried to get those guys, I really did. I didn't know anyone else knew about this place. I wouldn't have brought you there if I had known that others knew about it."

I stopped in my tracks and turned around on my heel. "That makes me feel so much more safe, Jared, thanks, really. I owe you my fucking life." I sarcastically said. I got closer and jabbed my finger to Jared's chest. "Did you set them up to this?"

"Liz, you're acting crazy. Why don't we talk about this at my house or something."

"How much did you pay them? Or maybe they bet you that you couldn't get in the frigid girl's panties. Was that it? Was this all just some type of bet?" I wiped away a tear and tried to keep my voice calm. "Did they suggest pictures or was it your idea?" My voice cracked and I let out a sniffle.

"Liz, you know that this wasn't my fault. You know that." Jared put his hands on my shoulders, but I shook him off.

"The next time you're having nightmares, close your fucking blinds."

~~~

"The next time you try and sneak out of my house, why don't you at least leave a note? I was worried sick! I thought you were kidnapped or something," My mother yelled once I got into the house.

"Mom, I'm really not feeling it tonight." I kicked off the shoes I had walked all the way from the lake to my house in and I pulled my jacket tighter around myself. "I just really want some hot chocolate and then I want to go to sleep. Can you please yell at me tomorrow?" I draped myself on the couch and curled up to a pillow.

"Baby, you look cold. What happened?" My mother laid her warm hand on my forehead and that was enough for me to start crying. She pulled me off the couch and gathered me into her arms. "Please, tell me what's bothering you so much." She smoothed down my wet hair and kissed my forehead. "You don't have to tell me right away. I can wait."

"He broke my heart, mom. He broke my heart." I cried into her shoulder. I felt ashamed. All of these years I was taught to never cry over a boy. I was taught that I was stronger than to cry over a measly boy. "I'm sorry, mom."

She sat on the couch and I did the same. "Listen. I know that I told you never to cry over a boy. I've been trying to teach you that since you were little. But I never want you to apologize for your feelings. I've cried over my fair share of boys and most of them didn't deserve my tears. They didn't deserve the nights I lost crying for them. But that doesn't mean I want to take those nights away. I became a better person after every breakup. I learned from my mistakes."

"It's okay to cry sometimes, mtoto. Now, I want you to take off those wet clothes and take a nice warm shower, then go to bed. You'll feel so much more better in the morning. Trust me." She kissed my forehead.

I got up from the couch and waddled off until my mom said, "And mtoto?"

"Yeah, mama?"

"He doesn't deserve you, mtoto."

~~~

By the next school day, it was everywhere that I had spread my legs for the basketball team's forward. Instead of people asking me what had really happened, they look at me like they hadn't before. Ever since the XXX-Posed Instagram page, some looked at me with disgust, some with respect, and some like they wanted to get in my pants.

"It's everywhere. This is amazing. I feel like a movie star." Jasmine blew a kiss to a guy who had winked at her and let out a confident laugh. "If I had known that to be popular all you had to do was spread your legs for a basketball player, I would have forced you to do it years ago." Jasmine flipped her hair once more and smiled at someone I didn't know.