Pillow Talk

15.

"You have to go to school! All new clothes that your father bought and you don't even want to get up and put some on! When I was a girl I had a pair of beat up jeans, a church dress, three t shirts, and a jacket. And two pairs of shoes. Church shoes and then beat up tennis shoes my mother found. You are too spoiled." My mother yelled from downstairs. I know she was lying, Mama Ayo never let my mother wear beat up anything. My mother was just a drama queen.

I stayed in my bed as my mother made up fake tales from her childhood. I squashed the pillow onto my head, but it didn't drown out her yells. "Nyamaza (shut up)." I whispered to myself.

"I heard that! You better get your butt down here if you don't want to be late!"

I swear she had super hearing.

I had been regretting the first day of school. I had been seeing Jared every night, talking about random things until he fell asleep, then he would wake up at 6 in the morning and leave before my mother woke up. At first, all of this was just an innocent thing. A way to pass the time until he was able to go to sleep. But every time I say his name, or I see him, or even just think of him for a quick second, I can't help but smile. We never did anything, I refused to. He kept on top of the covers, no wandering hands made their way underneath them.

I didn't know what was going to happen when I saw him at school. Was I going to pretend that he just never existed? Was he? Were we going to pretend that we don't share some of our most intimate thoughts with each other?

Were we just going to be two people that had dated for a short amount of time and decided that that was it?

No connection?

---

"It's your first day, right?" Muhammad mumbled into the phone.

"Yeah, sorry I called you so early, I forgot about the whole 3 hours things. I mean, it's 5 over there right?" I grabbed my house keys and an apple. "That's always going to be a little weird to me."

"Doesn't have to be, time is a social concept, babe." Muhammad yawned into the phone and groaned. "Do you think Chipotle is open?"

"Chipotle at 5 in the morning? That can't be healthy." I looked around and spotted Jared walking out the house, and look at me. I gave him a polite smile, and he returned it.

"Maybe they can throw an egg on it. Some avocado. And then bacon. Damn I'm hungry. And I think hungover. I seriously can't remember. I went to some fraternity party, never a good idea. When you go to college, don't ever go to a fraternity party. Those kids can really drink. I can't believe that one of those kids could be a president one day." Muhammad groaned again and let out a grunt, "Who the fuck put this here?"

"Definitely not me." I laughed. I waved at Jared and walked over. "I have to go though, but I'll talk to you later tonight. You can tell me who put whatever the hell you're talking about in a place that it's not suppose to be." We exchanged goodbyes and I looked up at Jared.

"I didn't even want to go today. My mother made me." I rolled my eyes and shrugged my shoulders.

"Well, if you're already here, I might as well give you a ride." Jared opened the passenger door, and I got in.

We made polite chit chat about school, new teachers, college plans. It was almost like it was before except that now we both knew that once we stepped out of this car, we were going to go to different groups. No goodbye kiss. No smiles from across the hallway. Everything was going to be different now and I didn't know if I was going to be able to handle it.

"So I'll see you later maybe. If you need help to go to sleep." I took off my seat belt and smiled at him. "And thank you for the ride. I really appreciate it." I opened the door and walked off before I could see the expression on his face. I think that was the hardest thing about leaving.