Pillow Talk

16.

"So, anything interesting happened today? Like an elephant ran into the band room and started playing the trombone or something?" Muhammad asked.

"Yeah, sure."

"So obviously you're not listening. Should I just call back tomorrow or something?" The phone crackled from him going under a tunnel and then went back to normal.

"You know that I'm listening. I'm just a little distracted right now. I have a lot on my mind at the moment. Maybe it would be better if you just call me back." I put my phone on speakerphone and laid it on the bed. "Today has just been so confusing. I'm sorry." I bundled my hair into a pony tail holder and sighed.

"I don't know, every since you went back home, you've been a little distant."

"Well, I don't know, I've just had a lot to do." My eyes flickered to the window and looked at Jared house. I know it was wrong what happened. I shouldn't have done it, but is it really that bad when Muhammad would never find out?

"Fine. I'll just talk to you later." I could tell he was frustrated with me, anyone would be at this point. I hung up the phone without listening to his goodbye, annoyed that he was annoyed at me. I was being petty, I know it. But everything we talked about just seemed pointless and made me want to just throw my phone and never answer it.

"Hey, I saw the bottom lights turn off and knew it was safe." Jared opened up my window and slid inside my room. He was shirtless and had on a pair of old gray sweatpants on.

"Look, I'm just not in the mood right now Jared." I turned on my bedside light and got a better look at him. I'd only got to see him without his shirt on a few times, and I had always adverted my eyes because it was too much to think about. "Plus, I have a boyfriend. It's not a good idea. I'm not a cheater." I tried so hard, but it was hard to move my eyes away from his naked chest. He was lean, but had enough muscle to see a 6 pack and defined arms.

"You weren't saying that when you shoved your tongue down my throat at school." Jared walked over to my bed and climbed in. He lightly tapped my thigh for me to move over. "You obviously don't like him like you used to. And I mean, that's fine. We're kids. We're allowed to change our minds about certain things. Especially about the people we like." Jared out his arms behind his head and looked up at the ceiling.

"Is that how it's going to be with us?" I rolled over on top of him and sat on his hips. (Omg in so sorry. I hope my mother never finds this shit)

"This doesn't feel like you have a boyfriend, Liz." Jared chuckled. I hit his chest and crossed my arms over my chest. "Come on, answer the question." I whined. "Is that how it's going to be with us? One day we're just going to decide that it wasn't the right thing to do and just blame it on hormones?"

"Because we always find a way back to each other. Doesn't matter what happens. We're always back right here on this bed talking about our fears and our dreams and everything in between." Jared hovered his hands over my hips and looked in my eyes for confirmation. I nodded slightly and felt the new weight of his hands on me. "I can't tell you about what's going to happen tomorrow, or the next day, week from now, month, or even 5 years. But I can tell you at this very moment, I enjoy being able to touch you like this. I enjoy being able to talk to you about anything I want. And you being comfortable enough to tell me anything."

"Can I tell you something then?"

"Of course."

"I know that it's wrong what we're doing. But is it bad that I enjoy it too?"

"Never."

Our hands fumbled around, exploring parts of each other's bodies that no ones else had discovered, whispered giggles could be heard every once in awhile. Heavy breaths as we did something that I knew I would regret in the long run. But for right now, my eyes were screwed shut, I whispered little things into his ear, his hot breath tickling my neck softly, and as I felt myself shed every single thing I was taught, I didn't regret one little thing.

Not one.

---

"When you're worrying your brows knit together and you bite the inside of your lip. What's wrong?" Jared touched his finger tip to my nose and smiled.

"What am I going to tell Muhammad? What I just did, what we just did. That's cheating. I vowed I would never in my life cheat on another person. How could I do that to him? How could I be so shallow?" I flipped on my stomach and pressed my head into the pillow. "When did I turn into this?" I muffled into my pillow.

"Elizabeth, please look over at me."

I lifted my head and slammed it back on its side. "How could I do this to another human being? When did I turn so evil? I have a boyfriend, and I'm running around with you."

"Do you regret what we did?"

"Yes. I do."

"Some of the best things we do we regret them right after we finished doing them. And truthfully, yes, what we did to Muhammad was horrible and I wished we had waited until you guys were over. But I will never regret it. What we did was magical. Something that I'll look back upon when we're old and sitting on a porch together." Jared scooted closer to me and wiped a tear that had started rolling down my cheek. "I'm sorry that we didn't wait. I know that you wanted to wait."

"I am too."