I'm sick of everything always being my fault even when it's not. I've always been blamed for the worst of things so before so when something bad happens I tend to blame myself. I hate living in constant fear of something that never should happen in the first place. I always feel that if I say or do something wrong my life is going to end. I wish I didn't have to live like this. College is coming and as much as I don't want to live on my own that's probably the best option for me. The thing for me has always been to find a getaway; someone or something that eases the pain and that's what I continue to do. Yelling and certain sounds make me cringe and it hurts so bad to live like this. There are some days and nights that I'm just so weak that I don't know how to handle myself. School for me was always good even if people judged me for liking it: it was the only place I could go and not be afraid. It was kind of my safe haven for the 8 short hours I inhabited the classrooms and hallways. Sadly, now this isn't the case and it isn't the same anymore. I feel so sick and the only thing making me better is hope: hope for a better future and that's what keeps me here. The thing is I'm actually scared to be alone and that's what makes life hardest. Life is worth living I know, but why is it I have to live in fear?
