Flyover City! A Novel (with Superheroes)

35. Meanwhile

From SecretID.net:

- Ultraphenomenon is off on one of his "cosmic crusades", battling a world-devouring entity that's threatening to annihilate dimension Q.9 (your tax-dollars at work!)

- Alphamale, Yellowjacket, and most of the other A-listers are serving as a peacekeeping force in Asia, due to Seatopia's protests against Japan's oil drilling operations. The report seems to suggest that Tsunami Warrior K is sympathetic to the plight of his homeland. 

So that should go well.

- closer to home, Danger Monkey is fighting "The Voodoo Syndicate" in New Orleans.

But Denver? Nothing. Absolute zip. Construction on the Hypercollider continues, uninterrupted.

Somebody has to do something...

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Thank you for calling the Agency's 24 Hour, International Emergency Hotline! You are hereby advised that any knowingly fraudulent calls or claims made to...

"Whoa, stop, hold on - this is Joel Wyatt in Denver, Colorado..."

The phone tree pauses; a few barely audible clicks tick in the background before continuing: Thank you! Please state your nine-digit claim number.

I swear I heard a sneer in that automated voice. I list off the convoluted digits.

Our records indicate that your case has been closed. The Agency's research unit has determined that the minor rifts in the space/time continuum are being effectively dealt with by the private sector. Vaig Industries is currently -

" - building a giant bomb that could rip apart the entire dimension!" I snarl. "Look, this is an emergency - I need to talk to Lilywatt. Now!"

Lilywatt is on a new assignment and is unavailable at this time. Can you please describe the nature of your concern? Are you calling about: a natural disaster? A crime in progress? A UFO sighting?...

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I told it what I knew, losing probably half the details and definitely all the nuance in my frustration. In return, I got an orange-level "Troubalert", a new claim number, and is-there-anything-else-I-can-help-you-with-today?

So, pretty much a normal day for me. Until - something big happened. Something AMAZING...

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To: Joel Wyatt

From: smacguffin-at-vaigsecure.com

Subject: New Job!

Dude check the email addy! Looks like were BOTH working for the EVIL EMPIRE!! I called to tell you about my interview but I never got through. CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE IT!!?? I heard from this guy I used to work with that they were just looking for warm bodies. THATS ME BABY! Check it out that chick that you were telling me about The Mullet is TRAINING ME! From what I hear she used to be a Blackwater contracter..........but she was fired for being too HARDCORE! or some shit

Still doing overnights (suck) but 9 to 5 in training so lets do something?

P.S. have you heard from Kyle?

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(No, Spliff. No I have not. Not since our mind-meld, a week-and-a-half ago.)

See, now this is just too much. A guy can only be pushed so far. Maybe - maybe - I can accept the idea of wormholes tearing through the fabric of the universe and warping the laws of physics - but there's absolutely no reasonable explanation for Spliff passing a pre-employment drug screening. Something is definitely up - and I want to know what it is.

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Steve from corporate communications told me Gwen was down in IT. When I got there, the door was shut, a dim light glowing from the cracks...

"Jesus Christ, don't scare me like that. Get in here and shut the door!" she hissed.

"Uh, sorry. What's going on?"

"Look at these -" she picked up some sheets from the printer alongside her, continuing before I could read "-I managed to pull these from the server: emails from shareholders to Vaig, Vaig to accounts payable, all asking when the construction crews can be relieved. Joel, the Hypercollider is already finished. Vaig just doesn't want anyone to know, yet..."

It took a second to sink in, for the implications to really hit me. I was about to ask if she was sure, but, the extra security. It all made sense. "Well... shit. But... alright, I guess that's okay."

"What are you talking about?" she shouted.

"It's not good, obviously, but... look, this means he knows what he's got his hands on. He's not just gonna turn it on and destroy the whole universe... right? I mean, just because he has the most powerful, deadly weapon in the world, that doesn't mean he's..." I stopped short, realizing that I sounded like an idiot.

"You have to get a hold of Lilywatt!"

Yeah. Right. No problem. I stood there, stupidly, trying to decide whether I should tell her that I already tried, or just assure her that I would, and tell her everything is going to be okay. I was saved from having to decide by the buzzing of my phone. Tim, telling me he wanted to have a one-on-one in his office in thirty minutes.

I hugged her - tight - before returning to my desk.