Sweaters || Malum

Chapter 21

Dedication to Robin5SOS for all her voting :)

Song for the chapter: Not Enough by Memphis May Fire

--

I was eager to hang out with Michael throughout the entire school day. Michael just completes me, he makes me happy when he probably shouldn't. To an extent I guess; why me? Why do I deserve to be happy and be able to have somebody like him? I usually feel as if I am undeserving of his loyalty in the past couple weeks. He just started dating me and I have constant bruises on my face and cuts on my arms.

But I shouldn't think about the downside to everything. Though that is what I am good for most of the time. I lean up against a brick column in front of the school, looking frequently at people coming out of the building. If I hear a door open or close I focus my attention on that.

I hear the door again and I look around, seeing Michael coming up to me. "I-I have a question." He states walking up to me.

I grab a hold of his hand and intertwine our fingers. "What would that be?" I ask him.

"C-Can we stop b-by a store? I-I want to g-get some more hair d-dye. I wanted it t-to be a d-dark b-blue." He smiles happily, running his fingers through his unnaturally colored hair. He smiles and pull him close to me and I kiss the top of his head.

"Sure. I'll pay." I tell him, feeling my back wallet to make sure I had it with me.

He shakes his head and replies, "I can p-pay for it. I-I am the one who w-wanted it."

We continue to walk and I frown. "I want my boyfriend to feel happy. Trust me, it isn't a big deal." I reassure him. I readjust the weight of my bag and squeeze his hand a bit. I was going to miss this.

So after a little while of a small conversation, we reach the store. "Can I ask you something in hopes that it is not going to offend you?" I ask Michael nervously. He gives me a small smile to basically say that I could go on. "Why do you stutter?"

I see his nervous tics begin. His left leg moved behind his right, he absentmindedly began fiddling with his fingers, and he didn't look at me. I felt bad and as if I was hurting my boyfriend emotionally; something that he didn't deserve. "I-I-I was kind of d-developmentally d-delayed. I don't like t-talking about i-it really because I-I think that people are going to judge m-me for it. I-I am okay now, b-but I have to be p-placed in lower l-level classes." He tells me and then rubs the back of his neck. He still avoids my gaze, which I hate. Michael's eyes were an amazing colour and I hated the thought of him being scared to tell me something.

"Babe," I begin, lifting up his slightly stubbled chin to look at me. Finally his green eyes meet my dark brown ones and I smile, knowing I had something good for a little while. I take a deep breath in a begin talking again; "you don't need to be scared to talk to me about something. I think that you're such an amazing guy, and everybody has flaws. Believe me."

He doesn't respond, and instead picks out a dark blue hair dye. "This i-is the cheapest." He tells me, turning it around so I can see the picture on the front.

"Is that the brand you usually get?" I ask him suspiciously.

"W-Well no, b-but it's fine." He replies with a smile.

"Pick out the one you usually get, babe. I swear that I don't mind." Again, he doesn't respond. He just puts back the hair dye and then grabs the few dollar more expensive one. "You're going to look great." I reassure him. I place my hand on his cheek and he kind of leans into it as I lightly move my thumb.

He gives me a genuine smile. I am not saying that his smiles aren't usually real, they're just more shy than anything. But this time, his teeth shows and his eyes gleamed. He moves my arm away and then leans in, kissing my cheek. He tells me, "You're the b-best thing that h-has ever happened to m-me."

And that meant a lot.

I have never felt worthy of anything before, well, I take that back. I felt as if I was worthy of being harmed. But I don't say that and I leave the conversation on a good note. The talent show was only a few weeks away, and I want everything to be perfect up until that time. We hold hands and go down the aisle and we see Luke and Ashton walking into the store. We both stop and before we say anything Ashton kisses Luke on the cheek. "Well, shit." I whisper to Michael.

He just nods.

But then we both gasp when we see Ashton look around as Luke goes over and places a bag of candy on the counter. Ashton picks up an expensive looking watch and takes it out of the box it was in. He shoves it inside of his jacket and goes over to stand with Luke. "Did you know that he steals?" I ask Michael and he viciously shakes his head back and forth. They walk out, Ashton being undetected.

"Should we t-tell L-Luke?" Michael asks me.

"I don't know."

And with that we go up to the counter and I tell the cashier, "The boy with the dark brown hair that just left... he um, stole a watch from right there."

It was a quick action, and I knew for fact Michael was going to be mad at me. Ashton was Michael's best friend and he witnessed me telling on him. This kind of thing could get Ashton thrown in jail. The cashier calls the police and explains to them the situation.

"I-I can't even b-believe you." Michael tells me. He wasn't mad, just shocked. Ashton was our friend, but I can't let him commit a crime. At least, not with Luke around. What if Michael was with him and they got caught? Michael could be held almost as responsible as Ashton because the police would think him an accomplice.

But after the cashier thanks us and then scans our items, I feel guilty.

--

I was on top of Michael and we were making out. I didn't think that we could go from that watch situation to this, but for some reason when we got to my house we just began kissing. We went up to my bedroom and continued this.

"You're so fucking handsome." I swear, examining his features. Then he shocked me when his hand travelled down to my pants and applied pressure. What my father had done came running through my mind and I tried to ignore it. It wasn't me being forced to do something, I was going to be okay.

But as he applied pressure and palmed me through my jeans, I didn't feel right. Not that I didn't really like Michael or anything, just because I was afraid that he felt the need to do this to me. Maybe because I bought him something? I don't know. I really didn't.

He could have just wanted to do this with me but I couldn't let him. I moved off of him and he seemed kind of sheepish after that.

"I-I'm sorry." He apologized, rubbing his eyes.

I felt worse after that, I felt like a horrible boyfriend. If I could have done anything wrong, this wasn't the time. "No Michael, don't be. I just don't want you to feel like you need to do it. I don't want you to not feel ready and then have me take it away from you. Basically, I don't want you to regret it. I think you are so amazing and I think I love you Mikey."

A huge weight was lifted from my shoulders when I said this to him - this was probably because I could see his smile. "I-I love you t-too." He tells me. It seemed genuine and heartfelt and this made me happy. I wasn't going to let myself make the mistake of hurting him like I have done in the past. Nothing sexual or more intimate than kissing should happen between us or he was going to be hurting more.

"Sing t-to me?" Michael asks me shyly, and I just smile.

"Why?" I question.

"You have a g-good singing v-voice." He responds.

I close my eyes and think about lucky I was to have him. He moves over and places his head on my chest, and as a response I wrapped my arm around him securely. I try thinking of a good song to serenade him with, something that I can think of at a later time. Then the idea came to mind and I got ready to sing. I kissed his forehead and began softly the acoustic version of the song. As I got to the chorus I got more confident and sung the words loudly; "I feel it in my bones, it's in my blood. A constant search for the one true love. Show me something real, I want to feel your touch..."

Before we both knew it, we were asleep.