Sweaters || Malum

Chapter 30

Song for the Chapter: Jet Black Heart by 5SOS (everyone's baes. Also listen to the song during this chapter, or at least think of it. It'll be dramatic)

Dedication to lukecalum7 - she's so nice I like talking to her. If anybody has time check out her book "Saving Sara", it's a Luke Hemmings fan fiction. If anybody wants their book called out the last three epilogues after this I will dedicate and give it a shout. (my book isn't popular but maybe in the future it'd be good)

--

*Michael's Point of View*

I watched the man I loved, facing his fears and playing guitar without his sweatshirt. As he sings the last few lyrics of the song I looked down and smiled. Everyone stands up to applaud him and then I hear the words, "That was my suicide note." 

It was hardly audible through the applauding but as he leaves the stage my heart begins to beat faster. "D-Did you g-guys hear that?" I ask Ashton and Luke warily, hoping I may have been imagining things.

"What?" Ashton asks me with a large smile on his face, holding Luke's hand. I shake my head and get up from my seat as they announce the next person that was going to be going on. I pull out my phone and dial Calum's number. I get more and more worried as it continues ringing and ringing, then it goes to voicemail. I lean up against the lockers and redial his number. I put it up to my ear, chewing lightly on my fingernail. 

It goes to voicemail.

"C-Calum." I whisper to myself nervously. I go out the backdoor of the school and look around, not seeing Calum anywhere. I tightly grip my phone and job across the frosted over ground, having trouble breathing in the cold air. I look around, completely bewildered. I dial his number again, and it goes to voicemail. I run across the street and look down, not seeing Calum. 

I redial his number, his words playing back in my head. "Hi, it's Calum-"

I close my eyes because I could hear his voice. I begin running down the sidewalk, my heart beating fast and my face numb. I begin allowing tears to fall. I stop running, even with adrenaline coursing through my veins I couldn't breathe. I dial the police. "Shit." I swear to myself, thinking back the numbers in my head.

1300 555 727

I press dial and it rings and someone picks up immediately. "M-My boyfriend. I-I think he is g-going to k-kill himself." I say before they could.

"Do you know where he lives, sir?" The woman on the other end asks me.

"Y-Yes. E-Eleven Fam Road." I respond. 

"We are sending emergency-" She begins and I hang up. I call again, and it rings the familiar six times and then I hear his voicemail again.

I run again and, redialing his number and holding it up against my ear. Voicemail. I get to his door and twist the doorknob, and it opens. "Calum!" I call through the house. My voice echoes through the house and I look in the living room and it was empty. "B-Babe!" I call out again.

I hear sirens and see the lights flashing through the window. I run up the stairs as I hear the front door open. Calum's bedroom door was open as I run in. I pause, seeing Calum hanging from a bar screwed into the ceiling. 

"U-Up here." I yell, looking up at my boyfriend's body.

I see a fallen chair and I quickly grab it and stand on it. I begin shaking the bar and I see paramedics running into the room with a gurney. I couldn't untie the rope with his body weight tightening it. I continue shaking the bar and I see a screw fall out and the bar rips out of the ceiling and I hear a bang.

Through my tears I watch as the paramedics surround Calum's body. They take the rope off from around his neck and put their fingers on his neck.

--

"Saturday morning we lost a student here." Mr. Folsom says to the student body as I sat in the back with Ashton and Luke. I cried so much over the weekend I was drained from all emotion. The bleachers were uncomfortable and I could only see Calum's lifeless body hanging from a rope, I could see him being placed in a body bag. 

Mr. Folsom had offered to do a speech about Calum. Which is bullshit, because he didn't know Calum.

"What we saw Saturday morning at the talent show was scary. It was a boy's final words. We saw scars on his arms and pain written on his face. As his teacher, I saw a slip in grades and his attitude he had towards learning soon disappear. 

It is a crazy thought, losing a student. He told me he would see me Monday, but instead I am improvising a speech for his death. Calum obviously held a lot of pain, and I ask for nobody to disgrace his honor, or make any jokes about it.

It is painful, if I am being honest. I was so sure Calum was going to do many great things with his intelligence and his personality. He was outgoing and seemed to be fine. But I have learned that maybe, people with the biggest smiles are holding the most pain. I heard him say it, too. At the talent show, after he was done singing, mumbled something into the microphone. He said, 'That was my suicide note'. I didn't comprehend it until about ten minutes later and then I called the police; but it was far too late for that."

Mr. Folsom stops as his voice cracks, and he looks down. I see a tear fall from his eyes and he gives everybody a fake smile and continues. "Calum Hood was an amazing kid. He had potential. I wish I could have been there more.

Nobody really knew what was going on inside of Calum's head. All we can do is be different, cut back on the amount of bullying and hurting of other's. I don't know why he killed himself, but he did, and we are all to blame. I saw how other people treated him, how much they wanted to break him down. Society pushes people down so that they could climb to the top. He was just pushed down a bit too far." Mr. Folsom finishes his speech and I begin crying again. Ashton wraps his arm around me sadly and Luke rubs my arm up and down to try and comfort me.

Nothing really registered until now. The sight of him hanging lifelessly from the rope hadn't registered with my mind. But now that the entire student body had been addressed, I knew it was real.

Calum was gone.