Unholy Habits (currently being edited)

31

I was emerged in the music he let me listen to on his phone, but in between songs, there was people yelling. It sounded like a madhouse. I knew that he had told me to stay in his room, but I felt more sober now. My head was pounding, I felt pretty nauseous, and I was sweating bad. But I didn't feel as uncoordinated as I did earlier. In fact, the sound of the yelling struck me because I was more aware.
I was sluggish and tired, but I pulled the headphones out of my ears and closed his phone. I left it on his bed and climbed off. I adjusted my skirt because it had rode up so much. I opened the bedroom door, nearly pummeled to death by the amount of people rushing from the garage and to the hall in which I had submerged my self in. They were running and everything, like there was a freaking fire in there or something. I followed them, staying close to the wall so that I really didn't die. They were all pouring out of the front door. I squeezed myself through the door with the people to see what was going on. There was a large wall of people surrounding something happening. I shoved my self through the people, getting a real bad feeling in my stomach. I got past everyone recording the mess on their phones. I managed to get through everyone so that I was in the front row of everything. It was Gabe.
He was on top of the guy who was trying to get me to leave with him. He was pounding his face in, there was literal blood on his knuckles. The guy couldn't do anything. He was just putting his arms up, trying to push him off, but he didn't do anything. Alec and a few other guys ripped Gabe off of him. And the guys friends ran to him and helped him up. He held his hands over his nose, trying to stop the blood. The guys friends pulled him back and they headed around to the park parking lot, probably for their car. Gabe pushed his friends off of him and walked away in the opposite direction, running a hand through his hair. He pulled a cigarette out and put it in his mouth and then flicked a lighter.
I hated fights, I hated them. I pushed through the already dispersing people, and rounded to the side of the house. Here, I dropped to my knees and threw up my entire soul. I threw my hair up into a messy bun and continued. It came out like a river, flowing and flowing. The alcohol couldn't be contained inside of me. I was partially glad, I felt I was detoxifying my body. Like all the poison was leaving me through both my mouth, and pores as I sweat up a storm.
When I was done, I stood up, using the wall of his house as support because I was so weak. I headed back inside his house, feeling dizzy and weak. I pushed through people and headed back to his room. I closed the bedroom door, grabbed my bag, and then headed to his bathroom. I closed this door and locked it. I found mouthwash and took a big swig of it, swishing it all around my teeth and mouth. Then I spit it in the sink and rinsed me mouth out a couple times with the sink water. Then I washed my face, erasing all the makeup. I dried off with a wad of toilet paper and then threw it in the garbage. I went to the bathroom, washed my hands, and then dried them off on a midnight blue towel that was hung up neatly on a ring screwed into the wall.
I opened my bag, found a mint, and popped it into my mouth. Then I found my make up and reapplied it. Mascara, Chapstick, lipstick, Bebe cream, blush. Then I brushed through my hair with my fingers and sprayed myself with perfume. And then I put on deodorant and lotion on my legs and arms. I felt better already. I felt like all the poison was gone, and that I was more clean now. I organized all my stuff in my bag and then found my phone. I turned it on, checking the way I looked in the mirror as I waited. I looked tired, a little green, and my eyes were bloodshot.
When my phone turned on, I was hit with the fact that it was four in the morning. Four twenty two to be exact. I felt so strange being up so late, drunk and high-I couldn't even understand why I had let myself go like that. I prayed I hadn't made a fool out of myself in anyway. I prayed no one even noticed me and that I'd been listening to music in his room for most of the night.
I had no notifications from my aunt. No calls, no messages, nothing. It drove me positively insane. So much so, that I decided to not text her or anything. I decided to continue on this attempt at worrying her to death. While I had no notifications from my aunt, I had one from someone else. My brother, Sam. I didn't bother opening the text. I flipped my phone off, shoved it in my purse, and zipped it up. I opened the bathroom door and walked to the bedside table where I set my purse down. I swung open the bedroom door and decided to find Gabe. Something told me that he needed someone. And while he wasn't my favorite person at all, I was practicing the concept of kindness.
I headed out into the hall and walked through hordes of people to get to the front door again. I swung it open and headed back outside, closing it behind me. I was barefoot, and I didn't want to be, but I didn't know where my shoes were. I was absolutely freezing, my legs, my arms, my stomach, my feet. I couldn't believe how exposed I was in this weather. I didn't know why I didn't at least bring a jacket with me. I didn't have to wear it in front of Auntie Maya, but I could use it in moments like these.
I looked about the street and saw only a small orange glow at the end of the street in the direction he had headed after his friends pulled him off. I was glad that they did and that I didn't have to see more, because it would've made me fear him. Though I already wasn't very comfortable around him.
I headed through his wet grass and to the sidewalk. I held my arms around my bare stomach and headed toward the end of the street. The orange glow wasn't moving at all, it was staying exactly where it was. I got closer and closer, feeling the cold cement under my toes. Finally, I made my way to him. He was standing, leaned against the stop sign at the end of the street.
"Lenore?" He asked.
"Hey," I stated and rounded around so that I was in front of him. I pretended to be looking around us, but then I turned to look at him. "Are you okay?" I asked. He looked up and I saw that his ear was a deep red and partially bruising, already. The street light illuminated his face perfectly. He brought the cigarette to his lips and inhaled. Then he exhaled, bringing the smoke down and flicking some ashes down onto the sidewalk.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I told you to stay in my room, though. Why didn't you listen?" He asked, letting his head fall back, resting it on the pole holding the sign up.
"Because, I heard people yelling." He sighed.
"You're still drunk, of course you wouldn't listen." I shook my head.
"No, no. I'm not. I threw up-like everything in my system. I think I'm pretty good." He eyed me hard and then opened his lips to speak.
"Do you remember anything?" He asked. I scratched my hair and flipped a few strands out of my face.
"Yeah, I mean-I remember the stars, and the lights, and the music you told me to listen to. I remember telling you-I-" I looked down. I told him about my aunt. "My aunt, I told you-I told you about her." I bit my lip and looked down. He pulled the cigarette or if his mouth.
"Is that all you remember?" He asked. I looked down, trying to remember anything else.
"I remember the guy you were...he wanted me to go home with him. And he offered me acid." Gabe's eyes flicked to me quickly.
"But you didn't-"
"No! No. You got them to leave me alone, right?" He drew in a deep drag and then exhaled the smoke out into the cold. The clouds were more pronounced because of how cold it was.
"Something like that." He muttered. "That's all though?" He asked. I nodded.
"Yeah, that's all I remember. Am I missing something?" I asked. He smiled a small smile and tilted his head up to the stars.
"You're a good dancer." He stated with that small smile still playing in his lips.
"What?!" I asked in shock. "I-I danced?" He smiled a little wider and dropped the butt of his cigarette on the floor and stopped on it.
"Yeah. You took a few shots, somehow lost your shoes, and began dancing." He pressed his lips together, trying to hide his smile. "You looked really good." I felt my cheeks dusting with embarrassment and shook my head.
"There's no way, I can't dance..." I muttered to myself.
"And you kissed me." My eyes flicked to him suddenly and I watched him, waiting for a sign that he was just messing with me like he always did.
"You're lying." He shoved his hands in his pockets, hunching his back over a little. He shook his head.
"I'm not." I brought you to my room to tell you to stay in there cause I knew I was gonna get into a fight and I turned around and you kissed me." He explained. He kicked nothingness and then continued. "I stopped you because you were fucked up. Ya know, high and shit. But you got all offended, you thought you were ugly and that you weren't someone I'd ever kiss or some shit." He kind of laughed to himself and walked in a little circle, making his way back to facing me. "But, I was just trying to be decent and shit, I guess." He explained. I shook my head.
"No, I wouldn't do that-you're lying!" He shook his head, a very serious expression on his face.
"I mean it," was all he let out of his mouth. He wasn't lying.
"I'm so sorry!" I bit my lip, running a hand through my hair. He smiled and got real close to me.
"It's okay, it is." He explained. "Really, I kind of liked it." He whispered. I shook my head and looked down, feeling my cheeks red hot.
"Well I didn't." I muttered. He grabbed my hand and toyed with it.
"You know," he began. "They say our deepest darkest secrets, those deep feelings embedded in this vault in our chests-it's all unlocked, and revealed when we're in the clouds. Or sloppy drunk." He whispered in his deep sexy voice. I shivered, praying he didn't notice. "I think, perhaps, you're deeply attracted to me. But you're too fucking afraid, and a goddamn good girl, that you won't allow yourself to be." He explained. "I realize I'm an asshole, but that's no reason to forbid yourself from being attracted to me." He had me practically in his arms. I pushed him away and stepped back.
"I am not attracted to you!" I said it real loud and forcefully in his face. "Here I am, trying to be nice, make sure you didn't get hurt real bad or anything. And you go and be a douche bag, being all dirty! Can't you stop for one minute?!" He widened his eyes at me and held his palms up.
"I wasn't trying to be like that. I was trying to get you to admit that your attracted to me." He stated, giving me this real attractive look. Like he knew he had me. "It's real simple ya know, in case you haven't caught me staring-I'm attracted to you too." He leaned in to my ear. "I wasn't lying at IHOP when I said I had a boner." My eyes widened and I cleared my throat.
"I'm freezing, can we go back inside?" I asked, trying to change the subject to anything else. He pulled away and stood there, our faces centimeters apart.
"You're real bad at hiding how you feel. It's impossible to not notice your feelings. They're visible from miles away." He explained, and then he gripped a group of my hair and pulled it out of my face. "Don't think you can fool me, Harvard."