Dream Boy

Part 1: Dan's POV

I was standing in the center of my living room, not realizing why I was there or how I got there. I was in all black. It seemed to suck in all the light left around me. I felt cold. The cold followed me as I moved. It seemed to stifle fading whispers. I started to look around the apartment in an eerie light. But the thing I noticed right away was the emptiness of the area. Phil was not here. I started to panic and looked all around frantically calling Phil's name. 

Then something caught my eye. A bouquet of flowers near the fireplace and a glinting silver urn on the mantle. I walked closer, starting to feel a lump in my throat and the panic writhing in my stomach. As I got closer the fireplace seemed to disperse an emotional aura surrounding it that I could not fathom. There was an envelope tucked neatly behind the urn. I hesitantly reached for it and took out the contents. It was a picture of phil and I sitting together doing Phil Is Not On Fire 4. Another took of Phil and I laughing together. Along with the photographs, there was a cluster of letters. I scanned through a few and choked; 

They were condolence letters.

Then it hit me. Phil Lester had died. My closest friend in the entire world. Right when I was getting closer to where I wanted to be; more than friends. Right when things started to be okay. Right when we were really starting to be the happiest that we could be. 

I was overwhelmed with grief and I sank to my knees. Now there were no whispers. Now there was nothing. Just myself, screaming into the silence. Screaming for what I had that  I so quickly lost. Screaming for what I had to come back. Screaming because it isn't fair. 

I don't know how long I was there, whether it was hours. Or days. But either way I decide it's time to have some food, for I could almost feel my stomach getting smaller by the second, beginning to hug my ribs. I got up to go to my room. 

As soon as I did I, immediately noticed something I haven't noticed before. Did it just appear? I'm sure I would have noticed something with the emptiness earlier. 

As I stalked over to see what it really was, I almost sank back down when I saw a crimson trail of a thick liquid wrapping around the corner. Something seemed to push me toward it. The invisible force pushed me closer and closer. I tried to resist it. It just kept pushing me towards the red liquid faster. 

No. No it can't be.

 I reached the corner. And there he was. Limp. Pale. Broken. The last burst of warmth had left his eyes for they were no longer the beautiful eyes that I could explain perfectly: a pale blue mixed with a hint of hazel. Now, the color and the sparks and twinkle of excitement was no longer there. They were a dead grey. A lifeless grey. 

I kneeled down and scooped Phil up. I rocked his mangled body. I regretted not being able to show how much I really cared about him. Then suddenly, with his head in my lap, he started to deteriorate into black ashes. The delicate flakes fell upon my lap where Phil's lightless body laid. The gravity of everything fell upon me and I sobbed the loudest of sobs and the screamed most apologetic and heartfelt of screams. "I'm sorry Phil. I'm sorry I didn't have time to tell you how I felt about you. I-I.... I love you Phil Lester," I choked. "I'm sorry."

***

Then I woke up.

I involuntarily yelled Phil's name as I shot bolt upright from my bed. 

With sweat beading at my forehead, the tears began to fall; rolling down my cheek, stabbing my bare shoulders. I heard him rush down the hall and in he came in to see me sobbing with my head in my hands. The tears came even faster when I saw Phil alive and alert.

Phil is surprised and in a firm but gentle and comforting voice said, "Dan, what's wrong? Are you okay??"

"Yeah. Sorry I woke you. It was just a... Just a bad dream," I swallowed.

"Oh. Okay. Well you didn't wake me up. I couldn't sleep so I was just editing a couple videos."

"Oh good."

"Do you want to tell me your dream?"

"No. I don't want to talk about it," I took a deep breath. "It is just too much for me to talk about. Too much," I echo even quieter as I hold my face in my hands.

"It's perfectly fine. I understand."

I took a deep breath and built up all my courage as he was leaving...

"Phil, would you mind coming to watch a movie with me? You know, so I can get my mind off my dream? It's fine if you want to go to bed..." I said casually. 

"Oh no don't be silly, Dan. I would love to watch a movie with you. I need to get my mind off a few things, too."

"Excellent." I said. I rolled out of bed and put on a shirt. I was walking out the door contemplating what I should do. Should I tell Phil how I feel? Should I keep it a secret? I don't know what to do, I thought with a sinking feeling. The last thing I want to to is read him wrong and do something that will ruin everything.