Convergent

Chapter 12

I sank lower and lower in my chair. I was the last person today for the fear landscape. Tobias said this would push me even harder than the physical test. It goes into our subconscious and finds are deepest darkest fears. It also didn't help Max was the one giving the test and able to see my fears. I was in a locked room alone with him and that terrified me, I hoped that Max wouldn't show up in my mind in during the test.

"Ready?" he asks me, a creepy smile on his face as he got closer to me. To start the test, they inject a black liquid into you. As soon as his grubby hand touched my shoulder to give me the shot I felt instantly dirty. I couldn't wait until this week was over.

I was out within seconds of the shot. The next thing I saw was my old bedroom. I was laying in my old bed in abnegation. This is my fear? My home faction? I got up and walked to my door when I heard it-screaming. I raced downstairs to see my brother, who looked much younger here about 13 was getting whipped by Marcus. I remember this, I was 10 years old the first time my father truly laid his hand on me. I ran over to Tobias to protect him from my dad's belt.

"Elizabeth get out of the way, this does not concern you!" Marcus hisses at me, his eyes darkening but I shook my head.

"Don't hurt him! He didn't do anything! Leave him alone!" I told my father, ready to fight but before I could go into action Tobias moved away to try and stop my father but it didn't work, Marcus' hand connected with my face and punched me hard. I felt my body hit the ground with a large thump, He knocked me out that day and I didn't go to school for a week to let the bruise heal.

I opened my eyes again and I was in a dark room that had one spotlight. In the spotlight was Tobias, but he didn't look like my brother, he was bloodied, weak looking, tied to chair and pleading for his life.

"Tobias!" I started ran over to him and our dark blue eyes met.

"Lizzie get out of here!" He yells at me and squirms as a gun went off. A bullet came flying at us and hit him in the chest.

"Tobias!" I screamed and quickly went behind him and started untying him to the chair. "You'll be okay; I'll take you to the hospital." I my voice shook. My brother isn't dying, not today.

"Lizzie, it's okay." He whispered to me as I got the rope off of him. I ran to the front of him and pulled him into my arms. At this point I was sobbing.

"N-no! It's not okay! Y-you're not leaving me, or Tris. C'mon, fight Tobias." I tried to pick him up but his 6'2 frame was too big for me since I was a whole foot shorter.

"Let me go Lizzie, It's easier this way. Be happy, go be your own person." His voice growing hoarser and his body growing weaker.

"No, I-I'm happy with you. I love you. You're my big brother, I-I can't do this without you." I cried into his shoulder.

"I love you too, baby girl." He last spoke, using an old nickname. After mom died and dad turned abusive, Tobias basically raised me. I was his baby for all intents and purposes. He helped me with school work, he tucked me into bed every night, he let me share his bed when I had nightmares and he would play games with me like siblings do. Tobias was my older brother and parental figure all in one. He slumped into my arms, I felt his chest stop breath.

"Tobias, Tobias come back. Please! I need you!" I sobbed more, my body shook violently as I gasped for air, I lost him again for a second time.

"Lizzie?" A voice I knew well spoke out. Tobias was gone from my arms, and the scene changed. I was outside on a rooftop overlooking the city lights. I wiped my face and took a few deep breaths. When I turned around I saw Connor walking over to me.

"What?" My voice still sounded shaky. Connor held my face in his hand and wiped my tears away. He kissed my forehead and pulled away.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?" I look up at him. He walked over to the railing and looked out into the night sky.

"This. Us. It's time we let this go." He mumbled softly. I walked over and took the same position.

"Connor, you're my best friend. You can't leave me that easily."

"That's what I mean, I can't be here. You see me more as your best friend and not your lover. I gave you everything with nothing in return. I don't want to see you anymore." That last sentenced tore me down, it was like another stab in the chest, as if I don't already have on with Tobias gone.

"Connor, we talked about this. I'm not looking for a relationship just yet. I do love you. Just give us time." I put my hand on his shoulder to comfort him but he shook it off.

"I don't love you Lizzie. Goodbye." He gave me one last cold hard look and walked to the stairs. I shook my head trying to make sense of everything before running after that damn boy.

"Connor!" I yelled as I flew down the steps all the way to the bottom. I opened the exit door and stepped into a building.

"Connor?" I called again and walked around the room. No response. I tried looking for a door to leave this building but could not find one either as the door I came out of was now gone. I felt my heart start to race and my breathing became short an erratic. I was starting to feel panicky. I didn't like this one bit. I was trapped. Maybe this place had a hidden wall, I ran to one wall and started banging on it asking for help. I eventually found a hidden door, like I thought there was. Part of the wall moved exposing black area. The was no light to see where it went. I put on foot into the abyss and was shocked to not feel a floor. I was at a cliff's end. I took a deep breath. Connor was gone and so was Olivia probably, Tobias was dead, Tris probably wouldn't want anything to do with me. I was alone and I didn't want that. So I closed my eyes and jumped.

I gasped and woke up from the test. However, it was not a sight I wanted to see. Max was on top off me, both our pants down. I knew what he was doing down there. His dirty hands under my shirt and his lips kissing my neck. I started to squirm and managed to push him off of me. I jumped up quickly and pulled my pants up and made a dash to the door. I needed to tell Tobias, this creep needs to get locked up or something. I had my hand on the door knob when Max grabbed me from behind pulling me away.

"Don't touch me!" I squirmed and fought him. I started screaming but he covered my mouth.

"You want to make it into Dauntless? Then you keep quiet about this. If you say anything to brother dearest, It'll be the last thing you'll do here in Dauntless? Do you understand?" He whispered in my ear and let me go. I ran back to the door, opened it and raced out. I ran as far as I could from Max before coming to a stop. I sank into the floor and cried. Why me? What is his fascination with me? Surely he can't kick me out. I'm way too high on the class rank. I felt dirty, He took everything that was pure and tainted it. I couldn't believe him, and we have six more days of training and the initiation test, where all the leaders will watch us. Including Tobias. I felt sick to my stomach, I didn't want to be here anymore. I was torn between wishing I could just go and be happy with Tris, Tobias, Olivia and Connor. Another part of me wished I just stayed in abnegation. For once I wish I made the decision to stay with my father, the aftermath of his beatings could not compare to how I feel now.