This will pretty much be my new diary (because I'm pretty sure my mom is reading my real one). Welp, I'm Alexa. I've had issues with food and restriction since I was 13. Now I'm 16 and still here. 3, almost 4 years of this crap.
I love to run. I've been running cross country and track since 7th grade and now I'm a junior and the team captain. My 5k record is 19:32, my 800 is 2:25, and my 1600 is 5:38. I have a great coach, who also happens to be my physics teacher. He is pretty much like my third dad (my parents are divorced).
Everything in my life should be ok. It really should.
I'm just so... I'm not sure. I can't interact with other people like I should. I feel distant during school and when I try to talk with people. My depression drives people away and it always has. I'm just lonely. If I could lose weight everything might be better. I want my mind to be crisp. I want to float.
Feeling uber sore from this run today, I'm so out of shape gahhh. I'm also worried about this upcoming trip to Virginia with my family. I hate traveling with my family, it's so so hard to restrict.
I am 5'4.5
Today I weigh 104 pounds
Food:
breakfast: large navel orange (87), 3 cups of coffee (7)
Snack: Christmas chocolate (315)
Dinner: I made a spinach salad with a black bean burger on top, with balsamic vinegar for dressing and some other stuff (300)
= 709
Exercise:
Bike ride: -180
6.5 mile run: -641
=-821
Net: -112 calories
YOU ARE READING
Losing Alexa
Non-FictionEating disorder journal. Me, losing myself. My food intake, struggles, successes, breakdowns, and my story will be written here.
