I want to tell you something...(killugon)

Chapter 1: This is Goodbye...

Killua's POV

Sometimes I wish I could be more honest like Gon. Well you see, I have a crush on him for years now and I don't know what will happen if I tell him. I kinda scared of rejection and I don't want to risk our friendship just because of the feeling I'm having so I decided to keep it as a secret.

"Killua, why don't we hang out together today after school?"Gon said in his usual happy tone,he seems to be excited .His voice snap me out of my thought,I look up from my book and saw him had both hands on my desk as support, his body lean forward and his face is so close to me.I blush a little at how close our face are right now,my pale skin make the blush more noticeable.

"Why did you ask so sudden anyway?" We always hang out together anyway after school so why did he have to ask? "Er-well, since today is the last day of school, we might won't see each other often in the holiday," he said as he smiled sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Idiot,of course we will get to see each other again.we promised to go to the same school next year," I said turning my heads to the other direction.Of course I like the idea of hanging out with Gon after school but I can't tell him that, it's embarrassing if he found out.

"Well I just like hanging out with you a lot.Did you don't like hanging out with me anymore Killua?" as soon as heard that, I turned around facing Gon. He has that puppy eyes that always make me feel guilty and I will always end up telling the truth.

"Idiot, of course I'd like to hang out with you,I'm your best friend after all,"I pulled him into a hug,I could feel him smiles against my shoulder "Erm I'm glad. I love you, killua.You're my best friend!" Those words nearly give me heart attack.I know that he just think me as his best friend,no more or less than that still the words I love you give butterflies in my stomach and my cheeks flushed bright pink.

"Ahem!I know that today is last day but no need to get so lovey dovey there kids," Bisky said as she looks over me and Gon, the other kids was whistling at us. I don't know what kind of expression Gon is making now but I swear that my face must be ten times redder than a red traffic light now. I slammed my head down the table hard,feeling too embarrassed to even noticed the pain.

Well since it was the last day, the teachers let us do whatever we want all the day.Some of the girls were just busy asking for each other phone numbers or take a selfie and some of them crying. Well I don't really close with the others except Gon and the teachers so we just plays games or go to annoy the teachers. Of course , that old man the principle of the school, Netero-san challenge them on a game to catch the ball from him again like when the first time they entered the school.It's not really easy but we manage it anyway.

-Time skip-

We walk back to my apartment, I rent it since I don't like to live with my family, they all acts really crazy. I pulled out a key in my pocket and and unlock the door before open it. I already stepped inside the apartment but Gon just stands in front of the door, not making any movement to come inside the apartment. "Hm, why you don't come in Gon?" I ask him while standing in front of the door.

"Killua...there's something I want to tell you,"Gon said, his face look serious instead of the usual cheerful expression. "Hm,what's it?" I ask and without any warning he pulled forward and give me a kiss on the lips "Killua,I love you," everything become blur, he face is red and mine.My heads is spinning, my heart skip a beat.Then I don't know why but I just slammed the door shut and ran to my room.

-the next morning-

I woke up and the memory of yesterday event seems to flash in my mind. Gon, he loves me back. But then I feel like punching myself right now. What's wrong with me? Why the hell did I slammed the door right in his face for?! Now he probably would misunderstood and thought that I hate him because of my action yesterday.

I finally realized the mistake that I have made, I quickly run out of my apartment to Gon's house,wanting to explain the situation to him as soon as I can and so that I finally can tell him my true feeling for him that I had bottled up for years.

But when I went inside the house, it's empty.Everything is Gone , I walk upstairs to where it used to be Gon's room and the only things left is a piece of paper. I picked it up and read the notes that Gon has left for me.

"Killua, by the time you read this I might already leave this town. Mito-san get a new job at yorknew city so we have to move to yorknew city . I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you about this before but I just don't want you to be sad. You must hate me now for what I did yesterday judging by your reaction. I'm sorry but I've feel like this for you quite awhile now so I decided to tell you that before leaving this town.Good bye and take care killua. Sincerely, Gon,"

I could feel hot tears started to roll down my cheeks, it was tears of anger mix with sadness.Angry at Gon for not telling me but I was angry with myself more that I couldn't be honest around Gon.Now he is gone and I'm left alone.

Gon...Don't you promise me that we'll always be together?...you broke your promise...Why don't you tell me sooner? If I knew this would happen I would have be honest with you about my feeling for you a long time ago...why did you have to leave me here alone?

I'm now already fall on my knees, punching the wooden floor beneath me, letting out all my anger and sadness as I sobbed loudly,my voice filled all entire the empty room.

I woke up from my sleep, this dream again...lately I've always been dreaming of the memory the day where Gon leave.It's been 2 years since that day and I wonder how he is right now...

TBC...

Well, I try to fix the grammar as good as I  could. I hope that it will be easier to read it this time. Thanks you so much to bakaweab that kind enough to point out my grammar. If any of you noticed something wrong about my story or any advice for me to improve the story,I would really appreciate it. Thanks so much for reading this <3