Metallic Memoriam

Chapter 8: Back in the Saddle

Blythe's P.O.V.

Well, this is it. Our first show since Lillith's death. She would have wanted me on stage again. I miss her but I feel an element of security, like she's still here with me. Chris brought Cadence for her first time seeing me perform. I give her a kiss before I go. I take a deep breath before I step on stage. This is really hard without her. So many fans in the crowd held up signs saying things like, "R.I.P. Lillith Penti" and "We love you Lillith." I looked at Levi and he saw the tears in my eyes. I walked out ready to face the fans, "You guys are absolutely amazing!" I start and the crowd roars, "Lillith would be so proud of you, because I know I am. We have gotten so much support online and in person and I know I can say for all of us, thank you so much!" I look back at everyone behind me, "Let's give 'em the show they deserve!" The crowed roars and we start our first song - also our first single - Stokholm.

Set the fire
I'll be your kindling
Make me feel like
My sanity's dwindling

Throw me into the dark abyss
Call me your sweet little masochist

Beat me, mock me
Make me feel alive
Distract me from
This HOLE on the inside!
Hurt me, rule me, set me free
With your twisted misogyny

Throw me into the dark abyss
Call me your sweet little masochist

Beat me, mock me
Make me feel alive
Distract me from
This HOLE on the inside!
Hurt me, rule me, set me free
With your twisted misogyny

Push the bruises
My pain, your amusement
And when I leave...
Grant me reprieve.

The crowd roars and I can feel my performance high return back to me just like before. I shake hands and toss my rubber bracelets into the crowd and I feel the familiar beat of my heart and pumping of blood through my veins and I don't remember a time when I've felt so alive since Cadence was born. I feel like Lillith is putting the energy she can't use anymore in me. "I need to sneak a cover in here. We're working on a song for Lillith's memory but I remember she used to love this one. This is Desdemona's Perfect Paradise."

Whats it like to be looking down from a perfect paradise?
Wearing your crown it must be nice, wearing your crown it must be nice
Whats it like to be looking down from a perfect paradise?
Wearing your crown it must be nice, in the afterlife

The chains down here bound you like a prisoner of hell
We knew you were bound to fall under the spell
The darkness took over and you held up the fire, oh
Flesh burst into flame and the skies turned black
Oh what a shame, what a shame

I can't wait to see your face, even he cannot replace
The memories that we made, the melodies that we had played

What's it like to be looking down from a perfect paradise?
Wearing your crown it must be nice, wearing your crown it must be nice
What's it like to be looking down from a perfect paradise?
Wearing your crown it must be nice, in the afterlife

Into the fire you had to dive
The demons have shown, they took him away
Again on my own, to suffer another day
The darkness consumed him engulfed by the smoke
The demons took over to open his soul

I can't wait to see your face, even he cannot replace
The memories that we made, the melodies that we had played

What's it like to be looking down from a perfect paradise?
Wearing your crown it must be nice, in the afterlife

You left us all here looking for a fucking reason to get up another day
But you're not even here to tell us it's okay, we suffer every day
You left us in the dark looking for a reason to move on.

We finish our set with half of our new album and I wipe the sweat from my forehead and raise the microphone to my lips one more time, "Thank you so much for coming! We love you all!" I blew a kiss to the crowed and we ran backstage to cool down. I grabbed a bottle of water and gulped the entire thing down only to grab another one.

"Blythe, slow down. You're gonna flush out every electrolyte in your body." Hazel rubs my back and smooths my hair. "Chris is in the lounge with Cadence and the others. You should go and see how they are. First show after...you know?"

I nod and walk - three water bottles in hand - into the lounge, a circle of high fives awaiting my arrival. "What a fucking show Blythe!" Levi jumps up with energy far beyond my point of reasoning. He picks me up and spins me around, placing me back down gently. "You okay Blythe?" He looks at me quizzically.

I nod and walk over to Chris and pick up a just-woken-up Cadence, "Hey baby girl." My heart swells as her smile grew, simply from looking at me. I'm filled with pride when I think about the fact that this little, breathtakingly beautiful girl, is mine. I helped make this pale skinned, dark hair, bright eyed beautiful little angel. Everything I've lost has led to this little miracle to be here, in my arms, with my DNA. Well, half mine.

I kiss her forehead and she giggles. Cadence puts a chubby little finger to my mouth and smiles, uttering her first words, "Hi, Mommy."

She's got me back in my saddle again.