Taming the Bad Boy (Completed)

Chapter 19

I made this extra long. I don't know why as I'm feeling slightly deflated. I'm not getting many reads, or comments...or votes. Sigh. I seriously feel like...I havn't even got any motication for this story anymore. 

But I'm carrying on for the few (very few) who do vote and comment and read, but I feel most of the time I'm writing for the sake of it and not because anyone's bothered. So..yeah. 

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I sat in the back garden, amongst the growing glass picking at the thin green blades whilst studying Blake out of the corner of my eye. We were slowly mending our confusing relationship. I knew he cared for me, heck maybe even loved me but trying to get back to how we were was harder than I thought it would be. I sensed the strain, the tension that still hung loosely. It was the day after the waterfall, and we were attempting to finish our photography project.

“Renee” I looked up at Blake his tension filled face and the dark circles under his eyes.

“Yeah?” I didn’t know what I was hoping he would say but I leaned forward on the grass.

He didn’t say anything, he just shook his head “Nothing”

I felt deflated, stealing glances at him as he attempted to sort out the pictures.

Finally building up enough courage I asked “What are we?”

“I’d want to be…” he sighed beckoning me to him. I sat on his lap burying my face in the crook of his neck.

“You know what I want to be able to do?” he asked me “I want to be able to buy you a t-shirt that says Blake’s girl”

I giggled softly “You can do that”

“Yeah but…” he trailed off “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I’ve never even taking you on a date? If I don’t even know the real you?”

“You do know the real me” I protested quietly “Just not enough yet…”

“I just want to take it slow you know?” he stroked my hair back “I don’t like hurting the people I love”

“You won’t hurt me”

He shook his head smiling softly “I want to be able to say you’re mine…”

I lifted my head slightly “We can start again”

He nodded in agreement “We’ll start again, until we’re both ready”

I smiled in confirmation “Until we’re both ready…” and I buried my face back into the crook of his neck. To safety.

I shut the trunk of the car and studied the boy sitting in the driver’s seat. He was on his phone, but I sensed the absence of concentration, the tiny flickering of his irises the nervous bending of his fingers.

“Blake?”

He looked up attempting to shoot me a smile “Ready?”

“I am” I said “But you’re not”

He didn’t try to deny it “What if…what if he’s different? Too different?”

“He’ll still always be the Brendan that you grew up with, you’ll just need to find him again” I closed the distance between us by opening up the door and crawling into his lap.  He wrapped his arms around my waist and said nothing.