We were at a ice skating rink! I love ice staking. I love the feeling of the ice smoothly gliding you as you skate forward. It sounds cheesy I know but I'm here doing something I love with a cute boy. How can I not be cheesy. (OMG I love ice skating n all types of skating, You should try it ) I gently skate to Zane. Smiling and stopping close to him "Do you need help" "YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!" He says fast. I take his arm and stark to skate with him. After a while we stop. Its late we decide to head to my house. I know I know. Why let him in if I don't know him very well. I would guess I'm good at judging people. I mean hes been nothing but sweet. I let him in. We got changed in diffrent rooms and put on p.js and we cuddled up on my bed and fell asleep. I had a bad bad dream. This is my bad dream
Time skip over a 2 month time frame
I wish I would of ignored him. I would of left or never went to the mall. Lately hes been...Angry.Who the hell am I kidding. Zane is a abusive boyfriend! I don't understand anything. All I do is love him. It started with If he calls I have 5 seconds to answer or I get hit. I hate him, But I love him. I don't know why he changed. He drinks even though hes not 21 or 18. He smokes now. Hes changed from who I liked. This Zane needs to go or I go. he has to pick. I know he will pick the drinking,smoking,partying over me. Hes cheated more times than I can count. I hate that I put up with it. I should of left him when he first hit me. Not after hundreds of times. This must end. It has to. I'm slowly dying inside. I have started to cut. Not my wrists. Not my thighs. Not my sides. My feet. The arck of my feet. I cut them. I know odd place. But no one will ever see the scars I gave myself. Not even Zane knows. We never had sex. He gets it from every other girl. I refuse to give it to him. After I found out he was cheating I can't even look at him anymore. I never look him in the eye. I hate that he made it to were I am scared to look at ANYONE in the eye. I used to be able to stand up for myself. I have become a shell of a person. I never talk. I never do anything that I used to. I no longer do anything. I stare into space most days. My day looks like this
6 am - Get beaten
7am- 10 pm - stare into space
10 to 11 - Bath time
11- 5 am - sleeping
5-6 am - Cook for Zane.
Thats my day.
I have NO phone. No t.v. No computer. Nothing. Just books. c.d. ,c.d player and a pair of headphones. Thats all. Well plus my clothes. My hair is dyed red. Well..It was. Its faded to almost blonde. I'm to scared to ask for dye. Oh well. When my birthday comes around I'm leaving. My mom knows. She is going to help me get out. What happened is she moved. I asked to stay behind in the house she had already bought and she agreed. She sends me money in a card that Zane doesn't know about. Plus she sends him 80 bucks to take care of me. But on the card right now I have 2,883 dollars. I know its a lot .But I need it to get some were safe. She says she can't know where I am. In cause Zane tries to get her to talk. Oh well. I know shes loves me. I haven't been able to talk to her in a few months. I miss her. I hate that I can't see her because of Zane. I will one day leave. That day is coming so soon. Tonight I will speak to him. If he says no I will rush out as soon as he leaves. One day is so close. I can taste freedom. Speaking of Zane he just walked through the door. "What the hell are you looking at?" I look down once more "Did I tell you to look down?" I shake my head no. "THEN WHY ARE YOU LOOKING DOWN?!?! " I look up and at his nose " Last chance. Stop looking at my nose and look me in the eyes" I do as I am told." Was that so hard? HUH?!?!?" I shake my head no again. Grabbing my arm roughly he pushes me against the wall. "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?! WHY DO YOU REFUSE TO TALK?!?!!?" I gently move aside "why would I talk if you only yell and hit me?"I tell him in a small voice. "What did you just say?! What makes you think I care if I hit you?!?!?!" I look down "You don't. But you arnt the one who is bruised are you?" I whisper trying to keep from being hit to badly. Zane rushes out. I know I should of just stayed quite. Rushing in carrying bottles of alcohol in his arms. He Breaks them at my feet. I jump back. Luckily I don't step on any glass. "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?!?!" I fall on my keeps. I feel a few pieces of glass go into my knees as I do. I hate that I'm to scared to do anything. He runs and grabs his smokes, throwing them down in the pile "Is this what you want" He asks in a small voice. "S-..Stop. Please" I finally beg him to stop. He hugs me "Please. I can stop. Just...I need help." I push him back with my feet. Bad idea. I have no socks on. "Babe..What are these?" Zane asks me that while he grabs my foot. I try to wiggle away. He didn't dare ask why. I still keep trying to move. "Stop please" I beg. "I'm sorry"
END OF DREAM!!!!!
I wake up sweating to being shaken gently "Baby please wake up!" Zane says with so much concern on his face. I hug to him and tell him my dream. "Babe.. I-I would never! I'm sorry I didn't wake you up sooner." I hug him and tell him its ok. "Cheyanne will you please be my girlfriend? I promise to never hurt you" I scream yes.
He kept that promise our hole life.
