A Dream Come True. [ Johnnie Guilbert]

Thinking Sucks.

*Johnnies P.O.V*

I can't believe she's really coming to stay. This is going to be great. What if something happens between us? Why am I thinking about us. I can't help it. I really do like her. I want her. I want her lips. Her taste. Her body. Just her. Everything about her is so perfect. But I can't help the fact that she'd never like me. She's so damn adorable. Her laugh makes me melt. The fact that I feel like I can tell her everything makes it even better. I need someone like that in my life. Even just as friends. I can deal with that. I hope. When I'm with her I have the urge to pin her to the wall and meet my lips with hers. I've never felt like that about anyone. Ever. I mean we haven't even known each other that long. I hope she likes me. Maybe she does? Probably not though. Ugh. I grab my notebook and turn the many pages of letters drawings suicide notes and songs and finally get to the page with my newest written song on it. But not the copy with bad hand writing. I mean this one has bad hand writing too but it's slightly better. I have to make two copies all the time. But only if it's something important. I decide to look it over and sing it to see if it sounds alright. Grabbing my guitar I start paying it. All I'm thinking the whole time is "Thinking Sucks". It really does. A lot. A whole damn lot. No doubt about it I think I'm going to tell Kate when she arrives.....

*Kyles P.O.V*

I hear Johnnie playing his guitar and singing a song. He said he was writing a new song so I'm guessing this might be it. It's really good so far. I wish I could write and sing as could as he can. Stop being jealous Kyle. I've been thinking way too much. Some thoughts are good but some really aren't. I hate the fact that I'm not as good as everyone else and I get mad at myself for it. It's annoying. I'm annoying. Damn it shut up. I'm just glad I have all the friends I do. All of My Digital Escape mean so much to me, And Damon and Robby .Even Diego. Where do I even start with Josie. She's latterly the best girlfriend ever. I'm surprised she's stuck with me this whole time. I've thought far too much today already and it's only 8;00am. Times like this I just want to end it all or just start back my addiction. Everyone would be even more disappointed in me though. Right now I feel the urge coming so bad. I can't fight it. I get up going to the bathroom finding a blade. I look up into the mirror at the beast I have become. At this time I am now crying, tears falling every which way they won't seem to go away. Thoughts are traveling through my mind. It's racing. Dragging the blade across my skin about 10 times I go to do it again and Alex walks in on me. I drop the blade and start to say something but she walks away. All that's running through my mind is "What have you done". Over and over and over. I relate to Johnnies song so bad right now.... I really wish I didn't. I clean up my mess and put the blade in my pocket then walk out of the bathroom after wiping the tears away. It's noticeable I'm crying so I hope no one looks at me. Thinking sucks.

*Josies P.O.V*

I've been up for about the past hour and the whole time Kyle was sitting up staring at the wall. I could tell he was thinking until he walked out of the room into the bathroom. I hear crying so I get worried and when I get up to go check on him he walks back in. "Oh hey Josie" He says half smiling. It's fake. I know when his smiles are fake and real and this one is fake. I see his cry eyes and I just hug him. He hugs me back tightly starting to weep and the whole time after that we were talking about life and the things that were getting to him. He said he cut again..... That really just makes me want to do it again honestly, See what thinking does to people? Thinking sucks.

*Bryans P.O.V*

I have been up for the past 2 hours and the last 30 minutes of it really got to me. I heard Johnnie singing a sad song. Kyle crying. Him talking to Josie. He cut again. That really hurts me. Seeing my friends hurt makes me want to stab myself. Thinking and self harm is no joke. Thinking sucks.

*Jordans P.O.V*

I really can't do this right now. I feel a break down coming. Hearing the conversation going on with Kyle and Josie kills me. I don't see why life has to suck so fucking bad, He cut and that honestly makes me want to die. Anyone who does really, No one deserves the shit they are put through to make them self harm. It all starts with that one thought. Thinking sucks.

*Alex's P.O.V^

I woke up about 30 minutes ago and went to the bathroom and walked in on Kyle cutting... He dropped the blade and went to say something but I walked away fighting the tears in my eyes. That really got to me. The past 25 minutes I've been thinking about it and that led to me thinking about even more things. How I really like someone but he has someone else. The fact that the guy is in this house. The fact that I just walked in on him cutting his fucking wrist and the fact that his girlfriend is in this house. Talking to him right now. The fact that I act cool about it. Like I don't like him. Like Josie dosen't bother me when she's here. Why do I do this to myself. Not only does he have a girlfriend but he could never like me. I'm getting the urge to cut but I ignore it with everything in me and go back to bed. Thinking sucks.

*Jeydons P.O.V*

I just woke up. I want some oatmeal.... Mmmm that sounds good right now. I go to the kitchen and make peach oatmeal. The door swings open and in walks a smiling Robby. "Hey man when did you get in LA?" I ask pulling him into a hug. "Just now really. Me and bryan were talking last night and we decided I'd come and visit I sit" He says hugging back. "Oh alright well if your tired you can go in bryans room" I say pulling out of the hug. "Yes I am" He says laughing. "IM HOME BITCHES" He yells at everyone. Everyone replys with a "Hey Robby" And laughing. "Well I'll see ya later" He says running into Bryans room. I sit on the couch and face time Sam. I miss her face. She's so beautiful.

*Shannon's P.O.V*

I get up and walk out in the living room seeing Jeydon Face Timing Sam. "Hey Sam Hey Jeydon"."Hiiiiiiii" Sam says. Then a "Hey" Coming from Jeydon. I laugh "Hey guys. How's It going Sam?" I ask. "It's going fine I just miss you guys." She says with a pouty face. "We miss you too come and see us soon" I say smiling. "I'm trying" She says laughing. "Well I'm going to go meet up Tyler love y'all byee" I say walking away. I hear a faint "Love you too". I go and get ready then leave to meet up with Tyler. Yayy.

*Diego's P.O.V*

I awake and sit up smiling. I'm glad me and Kate are friends again. I can feel somewhat happy again. I just still can't believe I did all this to her. What I did made ME self harm and that's bad. I feel like such a bad person. I missed her. She's a great person. I hurt someone that means the world to me, She may have forgave me and I'm thankful for that but I will never forgive myself. I think a lot about these things. Thinking sucks.

*Robby's P.O.V*

The past few minutes I've been talking to jeydon then I run in bryans room and pass out. Damn driving is a lot of work..

*Damon's P.O.V*

I wake up yawning. Why am I even awake right now. My mind goes straight to the thing I've been thinking about for the past few days. That night we were talking and we fell asleep on the couch together I can't help but think about her. I wanted to kiss her so bad. I really like her. I think I'm going to tell her when she gets here. But I don't want to hurt Johnnie, And what are the chances she likes me too? I don't know what I'm going to do. All I know is the past few days have been getting to me. I really want to know her story. Thinking sucks.

*Kates P.O.V*

I've been driving for awhile now I should be at the place soon. I'm In LA!! Just got to get to the apartment.