Between The Lines

Free at last

If you have done the math....by age 21 I had four kids and custody of none of them. They were all dispersed in different directions. I kept contact with them as best as I could. But, I always dreamed of having a family. I had begun a new life. Shortly after I had Trenton, my first born, my aunt and uncle left California all together. San Bernardino was becoming full of gang violence and work was hard to come by. They relocated in a small southern town on the north shore of lake Pontchartrain in Louisiana near New Orleans. I stayed in back on the west coast and continued my life out there. Then, I wound up in Texas working as a dancer at a high end gentleman's club. Even though I had four kids, I was still a knock out. You would never guess if you looked at my small waistline and firm thighs. My c section scar was barely visible. I kept my body toned and tanned. I had long brown hair past my shoulders. I got my hair professionally done with honey blonde undertones. I also kept a french manicure, square cut. I was a Diva for sure. I made the six hour drive to Louisiana from Houston in my black Mitsubishi eclipse. It had been so long. I was excited to see my sisters and meet my new step dad. Yes, I had a step dad. My aunt and uncle divorced. My aunt, who I called mama pretty much since age 7, was remarried. They had a nice two story house with a pool. Things changed after they left the declining San Bernardino Valley. My Uncle, who I called Dad had lived somewhere in New Orleans. I planned on visiting him, also with my sisters. I also brought him back a little gift I had successfully smuggled down the interstate 12, a high intensity drug trafficking area. I was very careful that I didn't exceed the speed limit due to the Texas license plates on my hot new ride. I immediately fell in love with New Orleans and a certain tall dark and handsome fellow. His name was shad. It was love at first sight for me. Somehow, I ended up cruising down the I-12, the same exact freeway that lead me here, fleeing that awful abortion clinic carrying shad's baby in my belly. I just felt that if we knew each other, we would love each other. I wanted things to be different for this baby. I believed I could really do it this time. I had gained my independence. I had my own Apt. back in Texas. I held a job. I had money in the bank. What could go wrong? Yes, there were a few problems I needed to work out first. Like the fact that Shad had no idea I was still pregnant and was gonna have his baby and the fact that I had a fiancé back in Texas. But, I was determined. I bragged to the local wanna be thugs in that small town that I was an 81st street crypt (lie). I couldn't help it. They noticed I was inked up on my wrists and shoulder. I was instantly a part of the in crowd. I know it sounded kind of childish. But, I had lived hard. I had done time in a juvenile detention facility. I was in and out of rehabs during my teens. I was finally free. Free at last