With A Snap Of His Fingers / Joshaya

Driving

Maya's POV
                                                      
Maya looked out of the window and she saw lights flashing and rolling by. It was dark and she was resting her head on the window's cold glass, feeling exhausted.

Josh was driving carefully. He wasn't really fast, even though Maya knew he could be. The low music made Maya feel tired.

They didn't talk much. The silence was surprisingly comforting. Maya felt the urge to roll her window down, which was pretty stupid, considering it was a freezing Christmas night.        
She stole a glance at him. His eyes were stuck on the road. Before they got in the car they were both so... Alive. Playful conversations, jokes. Now was a different story.

"He's going to end it.", she finally said.

Maya knew that Josh was waiting for it. He had given her the time she needed before she could actually say these words out loud.

The worst part; he didn't disagree. But Maya knew that if she wanted to hear comforting lies, she should have talked to Riley or Lucas. Instead, here she was, in Josh's car, trying to face the truth that would certainly come out from his mouth.

"Probably.", he said.

Maya's heart sank even deeper. She bit her lip.

"I'm gonna miss him.", she managed to say.

"You don't need to.", he said, surprising Maya. "If he gets back with Angela, it doesn't mean that he'll stop loving you."

Maya hadn't thought of it. Josh was probably right. But would she? Would she love him the same if he chose Angela over Katy?

"Look, Maya", Josh started, with his eyes never leaving the road, "People do that. They choose the past instead of the future. I do it, you do it, everyone on this freaking planet does it. Sometimes it's because the past is something familiar and comfortable. Sometimes it's because people want to continue a story they've already started. There are a million reasons. Of course, people take their time to decide. Someone could do it in a day and another could struggle with it for a month. But the decision rarely changes."

She knew it. It was the truth. Unspoken till then, but it always was the truth.

She couldn't even get mad at Shawn. She just got mad at herself. Hadn't she made the same decision? Leaving that train and leaving Travis, knowing in her heart that Josh would follow?

Shawn and Maya were so much alike. Too much. They didn't just say the same things. They thought alike and they made the same mistakes. So how could she blame him for making the decision she made herself, when she had to choose?

She couldn't.

"We're both freaking idiots!", she said loudly.

Josh obviously didn't see that one coming.

"Who are? What are you saying?", he asked trying to keep his hands steady. The last thing he wanted was to have an accident.

"Shawn and I. We make exactly the same mistakes. And that's not it, really. We make a mistake and then we do it again and we're stupid enough to expect a different result." , Maya answered.

She knew of course that what she was saying probably made zero sense to Josh. But she just wanted to let it all out.

"You know what, I'm just going to let you talk, even though I don't understand anything.", he said, proving her right.

"Nah, I've had it. I'm good now.", she replied, trying to sound convincing.

Josh cracked a smile at that. 

"Really, what did you do these three years? I mean you finished school and all. Any memorable moments?", he asked.

Maya was dying to ask the same thing but she had never found the courage to do it.

"Well, not really." For one moment there, she wanted to tell him about the whole Lucas-Riley-Maya thing but it already seemed faded. "You?"

Josh seemed to think about it. After a moment he just shrugged.

"I met new people."

Maya thought it was weird for him to mention. She wondered who he was talking about. She looked at the cut on his chin. Maybe he was talking about the guys that had beaten him up last night.  Maybe he was talking about Kathrin. Maybe both.

"Can you give me an example?", she asked.

"I met Kathrin. I met another guy call John that turned out to be very helpful.", he answered.

"You met the guys I saw last night, too.", Maya said. It came out way more hostile than she planned.

"Maya, they are jerks. There are hundreds of them all over the world. The only thing the can give humanity is some deep cuts and some bad bruises. "

Maya narrowed her eyes. It seemed to her that whatever he said tonight sounded right. Excluding the self-control part.

They moved silently. Maya looked out of the window once again. She was surprised to see that they were almost outside her apartment. When they reached it, Josh carefully parked the car in a way that it was almost blocking the door. Maya looked at him.

"Are you planning on coming in?", she asked frowning.

"Only if someone invites me.", he answered.

Maya laughed and opened the door of the car

"Goodnight Josh!", she said, as she got out.

""... But no one will...", he was murmuring.

Maya laughed again and closed the door. She put some effort on unlocking the door but she made it.

She turned around to find Josh staring at her behind an open window.

"You know, Maya", he said, "I am terribly alone in this freezing night."

Maya bit her lip.

"Next year I'll think of buying a dog for you.", she said, she got in the building and ran the stairs