The Best of Me

Everyone Has Pain

Chapter 27
Rachels pov :
I got out of the car and went into the house and Finn followed me . "Rachel we need to talk about this." He told me. "What do you think we should have to eat?" I asked him trying to change the subject. "Rachel come on." He said. "I'm think salad." I said. "Rachel we have to talk about this." He said. "Lets have lasagna too." I said. "Rachel stop avoiding this we need to talk now!" He yelled demandingly. "Maybe I don't want to talk Finn did you ever think of that!" I yelled. "And why not? What are you so scared of huh? Tell me, talk to me I'm your husband!" He yelled at me. "No you're not!" I yelled furiously at him. "You're not my husband you're my boyfriend we are no longer married!" I yelled furiously at him. "Still you should tell me!" He yelled. "Tell you what that I'm in pain? That my heart has been broken since the day the doctors told me that Emma died ? I have pain in my heart Finn there I said it! I am in pain and I'm scared of loving you , of loving this baby. " I told him. He looked at me with tears in his eyes , "You don't think that I don't have pain too?" He asked me, "because Rachel everyone has pain. Everyone has shit on their plate thats hurting them. Everyone has their own pain , their own hurt. That doesn't mean though that we should bottle it up and wait until it becomes too much to deal with. Everyone is in pain Rachel! I am in pain too Rachel! I was in pain when my mother died, I was in pain when you tried to kill yourself, I was in pain when Emma died , and I was in pain when I signed those damn mother fucking divorce papers that said I would longer get to call you Mrs.Hudson! You don't think I don't blame myself for our divorce because I do , I blame myself for everything, for Emma, for cheating on you. So Rachel you are not the only one who has pain in their life. I know you've been through hell and back but so has everyone else and so have I but thats what makes us so good together. That even though we both have pain at the end of day we love eachother and that pain it goes away ." He told me. "And what if its there to stay. Finn I was raped , and kidnapped , I almost committed suicide, I lost a child, I lost you, and I don't think I can bare to lose anything else because if I do my heart is going to break and I don't think I'll recover from that." I told him crying. "Hey," He said grabbingy chin gently,"you haven't lost me , I am right here , I am right here." He said repeatedly. He held me closely and said , "I am right here ." I took a deep breath and kissed him passionatly as he held me tightly in his arms and we cried together. "Promise me you'll stay with me no matter what?" I asked him. "I promise." He said. He kissed my forehead, "I promise." He repeated over and over, "I promise."