Distance Wont Hold Us

Self Control

Dean's Pov:
I have his number and that just makes it even worse. Self-control is a bitch, but I'm not a good person to even be a friend. I'm a bomb and I don't want there to be casualties, especially him. I haven't gone to school in like a week and a half. We're not leaving until after Christmas, dad's business is really taking off. I just hope we move before February. Fuck it I'm texting him.
Me: Yeah, it's Dean.
Cas: How have you been?
Me: Ok, you?
Cas: Good, thanks for asking.
I never responded, am I just being crazy? Fuck.... I probably should never have texted him. And the fact that I did I probably should have answered because I look like a dick now... I don't know what to do anymore with him. But that's the thing I don't know what to tell him. There is an array of life that I could say but I would feel so bad... And that's so weird I never feel so bad because my life is a lie. There's just... Something about him.

Cas' Pov:
We finally talked but it was super short. He hasn't sent me a letter since. I kind of wish he wouldn't be half in and half out. I'll take it even if I don't like it. If it's most I can get for right now damn straight I'll take it. Christmas is in like 2 weeks, I should brighten up for that Christmas spirit. Maybe it'll help me feel entirely better, and again maybe that's wishful thinking, I get out my essay, I figure if I work on it, I can take my mind off of all of this. Mitch springs down the stairs, and hollers "Cas, in one week, the three of us are going to Portland!" my heart drops and I fake a smile, while inside chaos happens. I go to my room and blast my music on shuffle, my mind revolves around "what ifs" I find my phone and I text Dean.
Me: I guess in one week I'll be in Portland..
Dean: Oh? Thats cool, I guess..
I've heard it's a big town, we probably won't run into each other, or even see each other. When Mitch called me down for dinner, we talk more about it. They even made a planner for that would be doing. That I guess that's cool.

Dean's Pov:
I call my dad seven times and they leave the same voice not every single time, that we need to move to a different city. I don't care of its 10 minutes or 2 hours away, on Wednesday in one week Castiel be anywhere from 5 - 55 minutes away. I can't see him and I surely can not text alright him. It would just make this harder my phone rings and I see that it's my dad. I answer it.
Him : we cannot leave Dean. We aren't moving until school's out and that's a promise. Customers I love it here and soon we'll be in a house it's finally paying off. I'm sorry you want to relocate but right now we may have found a permanent home. I thought that's what you have always wanted but I have to go it's busy love you.
Me : I love you too...
I've never really had a home before, I guess that was good news. I go into the living room until Sammy, his 12 year old heart melted and you got happy. He kept repeating "No more new freak!" I'm glad one of us is ecstatic. Before I know it's Amy's wake me up for school I decide to actually go. I don't really know if I liked the choice to go or not. Educationally it was a good choice but personally I don't know. I guess school isn't all that bad I just paying attention that sucks.

Cas' Pov:
6 days. I tried to convince Mitch and my dad to go elsewhere but they've already paid the hotel rooms and the gas money and spending money that apparently that has been saved for months. I'll just make the best out of it I guess. Maybe it'll be fun. It'll take my mind off of him, probably not because at any time soon to be so close to me that kind of stuff only happens on Lifetime movies and soap operas though. Mind of a teenage boy is very crazy, and wishful thinking again. Me and Dean probably will never meet unexpectedly. I wake up Friday morning I guess I dozed off thinking of crazy and I'm realistic things. I have I woke up feeling sick I don't get out of bed and just fall back asleep.
*5 hours later*
My dad wakes me up, and we talked and I begin to vent to him about Dean, right as I begin my phone vibrates and speak of the devil its Dean.
Dean: Hey how are you?
Me: I'm okay, feeling sick, you?
Dean: I'm okay, got some exciting news, sort of. I don't like it, but I should.
Me: Oh? I'm sorry? What's the news?
Dean: we will be moving into a house here, and staying until at least June. Sam is ecstatic, but me, not so much.
Me: oh, well that's good. Not to be rude is that why the silent treatment ended?
Dean: yeah... I know at least now I'm not leaving for a while.
Me: Oh... Makes sense.
Wow... Maybe Portland won't be so bad after all. Maybe now that we're talking then we can meet but I doubt he's up to it. I still don't know if I'm up to do with my anxiety.

Dean's Pov:
Saturday. Its Saturday. We talked all night long. The last time I talk to someone for that alone was Jo. She was the only one who could talk to you all night until.... The inner demons ate her alive and took her over completely. Cast texted me last at 3 a.m. It's 1 p.m. I just woke up and I haven't heard from him. Sammy's singing along to... High school musical? God damnit he's annoying. But couldn't mom pop them out two years after me instead of four? Sometimes I just want to strangle his scrawny ass. I miss mom---
Cas: hey. I'm sure you fell asleep, I did how are you?
Wow, he actually cares enough to ask I am, again. I'll leave besides teachers house so I am on the daily. I don't know how I feel about that. But i text back with a smile.
Me: I'm good, hungry, you? Yeah, sorry I passed out.
Asterix and I read it again, why did I apologize? I'm Dean friggin' Winchester. I don't apologize, oh well I guess I can't change it now. He just makes me want to be a better person and that's good because I'm already a pretty good fucking person if you ask me. Sure I need some improvement but who doesn't? This boy makes me want to be a whole different person. It's almost like... The way I felt about Jo.

Cas' Pov:
Talking to him all night only made me grow fonder. We've been texting for the past 3 hours, maybe we'll be able to meet up in the four days or so. He's sweet and funny and I hope to god these feelings are not one sided, but I bet they are. And getting so attached so fast, but he likes my corny jokes and somewhat of a life story. I want to grow closer but he isn't the only one that's scared. I'm glad he won't be jumping around I don't quite know why but I need that boy in my life. He seems so broken and I was just really want to put his pieces back together. Maybe in the next six-ish months me and Dean become really good friends because I can tell he needs one. I like how he doesn't find my name too weird most people do, I realized he is not most or normal and I love that. He is pretty extraordinary, and I can't say I don't absolutely love that. I'm thinking about all of this lovey stuff, i should probably stop so down the road I don't get hurt but it's worth it. He's worth it.