Distance Wont Hold Us

Hell Breaks Loose

Cas' Pov:
He is trying very hard to convince me she is just a friend. Is he cheating? I asked "if she's just a friend, let me see your phone." He hesitates, in that moment I knew he cheated. He hands me his phone, and I go straight to their conversation. My eyes start to water, as I see it "your so sexy and good with that big dick." As I found them I look at him crying, "LEAVE!" And throw shirt at him, and yell "LEAVE! I DONT WANT YOU HERE!" He tries to hold me and he says "Cas---" I slapped him as my dad comes in "what's going on?" I said "Dean was just leaving." My dad nods and says "let me show you the way out, since you haven't found it yet." Sass, damn. Dean says his voice cracking as he leaves "are we still together?" I say shyly and shaking "No. Now leave." He turns around, I hear the door shut and I fall to the floor crying hysterically. How could he?! I thought we were okay! I thought we were happy! I thought I was enough! I get my phone to see the text, before throwing it at the wall I open it.
Dean: yes, I cheated, but I did because I couldn't handle being away from you.
Oh, now it's my fault?!
Me: you're still a piece of shit.
I look down at my wrist, crying hysterically. I got up and my dad bumps into me in the hall. He asks "can I trust you'll be here tomorrow if I let you go to bed?" I look down and say "can I lie? I don't want to go back..." He hugs me and says "get some things, I don't want to lose you bud too. You're my world. I brought you into this world not to lose you too soon. I'm sorry you don't like it they were checking you in the hospital I couldn't stand to lose you I love you so much."

Dean's Pov:
I can't believe I did that. I knew it was a bad idea. I just ruined a really good thing, for this moments of pleasure. If I would have took my phone with me at this would not have happened. He probably hates me now, and nothing can change that I hate myself too.
Me: we can't fuck anymore.
Ruby: Why?
Me: he found out because your dumb ass wouldn't stop texting me after I told you to stop.
Ruby: you can call me the dumbass, but if you weren't so easily willing to cheat, you deserve whatever happened between you and him. You could have said no but instead you didn't.
Me: you're just a homewrecker.
Fuck her. I mean I'm single I could have sex with her more and not face any consequences. DEAN STOP THAT'S LITERALLY REVENGE SEX! I get home and I still look teary eyed. I go straight to my room. I hope he's okay.
Me: I'm sorry, are you okay? I love you
Cas: I've been admitted to the hospital.
S H I T
Me: did you try?
Cas: no, I'm in here so I wouldn't. Why did you do it?
Me: Do what? Cheat?
I told him that the truth about it. I don't really think it matters to him. He is going to believe whatever is most convienent for him. 25 ish minutes later, he finally replies to me.
Cas: you got in. You broke me down. I told you to proceed with caution, you didn't. And in the end I need it to proceed with caution. You made me feel worth something, you made me feel like I had meaning and a purpose. I saw a future with you Dean, but it's obvious you just played me. I'm so stupid to think you would actually I ever wanted to be with me. I believed what you said way too soon, and that's partially my fault yes. But the reason I want to kill myself is yours.
Fuck... I.. I didn't play him. I wish he would understand this! I wish he wasn't so fragile I feel like a real asshole.
Me: I did not play with you, I love you. I'm the stupid one who isn't good with commitment. I cheated because you're so far away and I'm horny a lot, I know asking you out was a bad idea. I'm so sorry. I've never had a long distance relationship before so I don't know what else to say other than I'm deeply sorry.
Cas: whatever helps you sleep at night, Dean.
I won't be able to sleep knowing I take yours from you, baby.

Cas' Pov:
I told my dad everything. My doctor told me a that they are transporting me to Fairfax(mental hospital) Tonight. I get a 72-hour evaluation. Cool, another one. I can't believe Dean thinks I will believe him, why is he is still trying to lie to me? I should have never gave him my phone number. I feel so stupid and used! I can't believe I almost threw my blades away for him! I can't erase the way his lips felt online, oh god I wish I could. I wish I could have fucking died of my previous suicide attempt. Love definitely is not for me! My conscience was right, I was just a game to him. From the very start. I knew I would never be good enough he gave me so much false help. I can't believe I let myself believe all of those lies he kept saying to me.

Dean's Pov:
Instant been up two days and I haven't gone to school, you barely got out of bed. I need him so fucking bad. He's all I want, and I seriously blew it. He hasn't texted me, so I assume he's okay I guess. Well I hope he's okay but all I want is to have the peace of mind to know that he is ok. He said he was in the hospital so I can only really as soon he's okay. I tried calling his dad but he never picked up. My first day back Ruby tries to talk to me in class, since I blocked her phone number. She's a bitch, but she's right, it's all my fault. I wish I could go move in with him, I've never had a long distance relationship before and they're really fucking hard. I don't understand how people can seriously do them... It's torture, just pure torture. I hope I can see him one more time to see how much he means to me. We're just kids, but I want him for the rest of my life. I will text him good morning and goodnight every night, not expecting anything back but only hoping.

Cas' Pov:
When my evaluation is over they decide they want to keep me just another night. They want to try and grasp my nightmares, even though I already told them I have PTSD. I wonder if Dean has texted me at all... Probably not, too busy screwing Ruby. Valentine's Day is in two weeks and I'm dreading it so fucking bad. I have just say what I'm thinking about before I fall asleep and that's kind of weird. I have such a bad nightmare, I wake up panting and screaming, she(the lady who's monitoring me) asks about Dean. We ended talking/crying until the sun comes up. I get discharged and I get a refill on my medication, and we go home. I talk to my dads before I check my phone. I see about 10 text messages. Two every day around 6:30 a.m. which is the good morning one, and around 9 o'clock p.m. which is a good night one. They make me happy, but I have to firmly stand my ground. I can't lines back in, he hurt me once, I'm not gonna let him hurt me again. Guys with the bad boy look are usually assholes, I need to know this from now on.