Distance Wont Hold Us

Thinking

Cas' Pov:
While Valentine's Day was a good surprise, I don't know if we can just jump back into a relationship. While he's driving me home I say "this doesn't mean we are together you know that right?" He says "I wasn't expecting that at all." Well, that's good we are on the same page then. How can I trust him after what happens anyways? It hurt too much and still hurts. I love him so much and i want to be with him but I'm not exactly sure if that's really the best idea for us. Mostly for me, I don't know. I don't want to get hurt again. I don't need then he doesn't need and should not feel obligated to waste his time on me. We shouldn't get back together my final thoughts. I get out at my house and simply say "Thank You Dean" and go up to my door. I feel the tears slowly start forming. I go straight to my room, once I shut the door I dropped to the floor and start sobbing. Stupid boys!! Why do I always end up getting hurt and used? I guess thats what happens when you are vulnerable... it still is not fair!!

Dean's Pov:
He actually called me by my name. Did he friendzone me? Wow okay then I guess... I dont think Ive ever been friendzoned before.. This sucks. I love him. Maybe it was lust.. Im not entirely sure. Maybe on Monday me and Ruby can fuck. Shes good at it, and if Cas did friendzone me then why not. I blast Kansas on the way home, thinking. Maybe this was good afterall, he isnt the one. Shit, I dont think anyone is the one, for me. I go past the lame greeting to Oregon, I wish I was home already. Wow, thats a first. Once I get home I go straight to my room. Dad said something but I ignored it, I grabbed my phone and thought about texting Ruby. If there's not a chance for me and him anymore why not have a little fun while it lasts? I should probably make sure that he does friendzone me but I mean its obvious he didn't kiss me goodbye.
Me : Hey... Up for that closet date?;)
Ruby : What about ur bf?
Me : Gone.
Ruby : Hell yes.
Okay maybe this was not so bad after all. I fall asleep quickly after dinner.

Cas' Pov:
This night was the first night that it was hard to sleep. I didn't get any sleep and tomorrow we have big test. I think I'll do okay, I probably won't but that's okay. I don't have a reason to do well in school because I'll never go to college. I'll never have to have a good job because I'll be forever alone. Why did you have to hurt me this bad? I gave him my everything so quick and he crushed me. I wish I never met him it would make my life so much easier. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry and disappear. He made me feel everything and now he makes me feel nothing. That's not fair. I hope he knows how bad this hurts me, he probably doesn't care. He probably isn't feeling a damn thing.

Ruby's Pov:
I'm so eager for Dean. I skipped class until we go to the closet. When he takes off his pants I grabbed his phone and stuff is in my backpack. I'll make sure his little boyfriend thing never comes between us again. Hes mine. Like usual hes the best fuck. Hes so good I never want to stop. He makes me feel insane things. He makes me feel everything. He makes me feel so special and nice. We talk and now it's a daily thing. We have to let each other know if we won't be in school. Maybe on the weekend we can do something too, I'll ask him later.
After we leave I unlock his phone, there's no lock on it, wow. Easy. I go into his contacts and that is find it.
Me : You were nothing to me. All I said and did was a lie. You are pathetic and mean basically nothing to me. Im not even sorry. Youre a little slut. I hate you with all my being. Never. Talk. To. Me. Again.
That should do it. Poor kid Dean is so mean. I delete the text before I put his phone back. I find him by the end of the day and I split his cell phone right back into his backpack.

Cas' Pov:
I walk out of class and on to lunch, I check my phone and I have a text from Dean. I don't read it and until I'm sitting down and opening of my lunch. I read it and my heart instantly drops, how could all be a lie? Why would he buy me those things if they were a lie? Why would he stay for so long if this was a lie? How can you hate me but protest to love me? Why is he doing this? I don't understand why he would do this to me I thought it was real. Men are the worst thing in the world. How am I pathetic when you were the one who initiated it first? How am i all these things and I just wanted to make you happy? I don't text him back I leave and go straight home, I'm crying and my stomach is in knots. How can someone do this to somebody? Does he know how much this hurts and how much it tears me apart? I don't know anymore I don't know about anything... He was my everything but I guess I was not anything to him. Why would he do this? The question haunts me as I try to eat dinner but I can't force down a whole bunch. I lay in bed and can't stop thinking about it, I don't want to text him because I don't want anything else mean. I'm really fragile when it comes to him because his opinion is the one that matters the most to me. It could just be a lie and he could be saying them to make me angry, and if he is trying to hurt me he's already done that a lot. I don't know why he has to keep dragging it out. And hurts worse when you drag it out rather than when he does cut it off clean, I learn that out the hard way.

Dean's Pov:
He hasn't tried to talk to me since this weekend, so I guess he just friendzoned me. I guess it's really over. I don't know what to think other than nothing at all. This is why I don't try to have relationships, I just have sex. Fuck buddies last a lot longer than relationships too. I just don't know how he gave up so easily, I was ready fight for so much for him but he won't even lift a finger and try to fight for us. I guess that shows who loves each other and who doesnt. I have never been good at relationships but I've always tried, and I tried my damnedest for him. I hope he's okay. I just don't want to get into the call like I did a month or so ago, that really hurt. But this hurts worse, I know he's alive but he just doesn't want anything to do with me. And I think that hurts worse than if he did die because this is his choice do not talk to me. I try and re-read our old conversations but they're all deleted, I've never deleted a single one so that's weird. Maybe it was a mistake? I don't know. Whatever happens makes me even more sad. I'm up all night tonight, I can't sleep knowing if he's not okay. At around 2 in the morning I get a really long text from Cas, I glanced over to see how long it is it's about 7 pages. I begin to read it and it says "Dean, I don't know what you think relationships are but they are not a game. Relationships are real and feelings are too, you can't just play with them because you want something out of it. You can't say you love someone so bad yet do them so much harm. I hope you never do this to somebody again because this hurts way too bad. If you do this to somebody else know that you're ruining them, you're ruining everything about them and their outlook on life. Saying you hate me and everything was a lie is hard to believe when you spent a lot of money on gas coming up here time, and effort. You can say what you want but what I believe is something else. Maybe we weren't meant to be sure, but don't stay this long just to break it off in the worst way that you could have. I know I was never good enough from the start you are too good for me to have. If that was your way of officially breaking it off with me, then good, fine do whatever you need to to get closure out of this. But don't try and break me into littler pieces because you can't handle it on your own. You're so immature and I understand it, but don't try and break other people because he can't handle the pain. Da respond and please don't ever talk to me again, I want nothing to do with you. You're just a sex driven monster. I hope you have a good life being and I hope you get out of it what you want." where did that come from? I never said anything like that to him? I'm super confused but I guess that's the answer to my question, we're done for good. I guess that's all I need, that's all I'll ever get out of him anyways.