Keep Going

Chapter 4

          She survived. They came and got right to work and I stayed to the side to let them do as they needed.A young woman with dark brown hair pulled into a tight bun approached me. She looked focused and very worried about how I may take whatever she had to say. "We're taking your mother to the hospital. You're welcome to ride with us or not come but I need to know." I looked up with an emotionless expression. "I'm not going anywhere. We said our goodbyes. If she dies then I'll be notified. If she survives then I'll most likely be put into foster care. Either way I don't have anything to say to her, she made her choice and I've made mine." I turned and walked up to my room. JAZ: Either mom's dying or I'm just going to be taken away either way I'm not sure what's going to happen. I laid down and stared at my white ceiling wondering how life got to be so shitty. KATIE: Want me to come over?  No I didn't. I didn't want someone to know just how fucked up my life was. How fucked up I was. JAZ: I need to be by myself and start packing. We'll meet up soon.  I got a bag and put some clothes in it. I then grabbed my razor and that's the first time I've ever grabbed it with the intent to end my life. I cut along my wrist knowing that everyone would move on and forget all about me. I didn't have very many people that actually cared for me anyways. The last thing I remember Is blacking out.

          "Wake up! Oh my god you wake the fuck up now Jasmine!" I was being shaken and everything hurt. "Quit." I could barley hear my own voice I didn't want to open my eyes or even move but whoever was shaking me was hurting me. I rolled over onto my side which was a big mistake. I instantly sat up with tears in my eyes. "Fuck!" I looked down at my body that was cut and bruised all over. I leaned over and puked feeling like shit and knowing I was being stared at. Katie was staring at me and looked very very pissed off. I smiled slightly putting my hand behind my head,"Hey" I said barley audible. "That was how you packed!?!?" She yelled. She got up and stalked off slamming the door behind her. I fell back and landed on the floor hitting my head harder then I thought which automatically made me puke with pain and then pass out. 

          JAZ: Please answer me Katie. I sent another text which would make ten within ten minutes. I saw she was reading them but she wasn't going to reply. I was back in the cemetery sitting up against an old oak tree. The sky was dark and it looked like it was going to storm. Which would be pretty accurate for the day. I ended up not waking up till the next morning. CASPER: Hey I'm leaving today. I haven't seen you really. Are we going to see each other?  I stared at it knowing that once I saw her it'd make it harder to say goodbye. JAZ: Probably not have to see mother today and find out what's happening. Have a safe trip.  I felt horrible but I knew it'd hurt me to see her and have to say goodbye yet again not knowing when I'd see her again. CASPER:  Okay love.Bye. Be safe. For me?  I didn't reply knowing I couldn't make that promise because there was a huge chance I couldn't keep it. I went to my car and go in. I had to go to the hospital and see my mother.  However that wasn't where I was heading. I was going to the bus stop because I had to say goodbye. It started raining and I wasn't sure I'd make it in time. 

          I parked a little ways away from the bus stop and I saw her standing there under the awning to keep out of the rain. I was soaked and didn't care I ran up to her. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight. I pulled away and looked her in the eyes and kissed her. "You be safe and don't worry about me okay? I'll always care about you." I let go and started walking away when Casper grabbed my hand and pulled me to her kissing me again. "I'll always worry about you. Stay safe Love. Thanks for coming to see me off." Her bus pulled up and she had to leave yet again into the unknown.