unTITLED

In Honor of America

"Prince Marries NYU Grad." I can't get those words out of my head. Please let this be a joke.

"James, Payton. We need to talk, but we can't do it here. Pack up, we leave in an hour." The large man with icy eyes bellowed. My heart is racing again. This cannot be happening, my life is supposed to be boring!

"Excuse me? I'm not going anywhere except for my house. And who do you think you are bossing me around. I think this is just a misunderstanding because you guys are Australian, and they don't have princes there." This man may be a head taller than me, but he has no right to order me around. Plus, if they thought it was a good practical joke to play on the hungover girl, it wasn't funny. Their accents weren't even right.

Mr. Hottie, whose name I am assuming is James, starts laughing his ass off. Yes, because this is the perfect time to laugh. Unless he is choosing between laughing and crying, and is trying not to lose his man points, this is not the time to joke.

"Sweetheart, you really need to work on that whole inner-monologue thing. You keep whispering it, and we can hear what you should be thinking. Also, I really am British; this is not an Australian accent. That would be like saying the Scottish and Irish have the same accents." Wait a second; I thought his eyes were a scary brown? Why do they now look almost green? As I am admiring how light his eyes now appear, they begin to darken again.

"My father is the king, of England. I am kind of the crowned prince. It seems that we may have gotten married last night. Don't worry about it though, I am sure it can all get annulled quietly and we can make it look like an innocent, one-night stand." I swear this man must have an off-switch for his emotions. When he should be worried or angry, he is completely calm.

Innocent and one-night stand should never be put into the same sentence. He doesn't understand that this wouldn't just be a one night stand for me. I'm only twenty-one and I have spent my whole life focusing on school and grades, not boys. I graduated with a 4.0 GPA from New York University two days ago. I haven't had time to start thinking about the opposite sex yet. How do you tell a prince that you have never even gone on a date? Maybe I should just wait and if it comes up, I will tell him. Maybe.

"That is great that we can get this annulled because I need to get back to my apartment and change out of this stripper outfit." Rein is responsible for all of this. She made me wear one of her black, one shoulder, hug ever curve or lack thereof, party dresses last night. I look like a prostitute. James seems to be eyeing me with a fire in those now, khaki eyes. Meanwhile, mystery giant sits silently, observing our interactions, clearly trying to figure out what he is going to say. So I decide to help him along. "Hey, big, scary dude who is staring us down, would you just spit it out already. You are really starting to scare me shitless. Tell me what is going on before steam starts coming out of your ears."

"Madeline, first of all, I do not appreciate the language. Your new life is going to require you to handle stressful situations with grace and dignity. There seems to be a small problem with the possibility of annulment." What the hell? How does he know my first name? My friends don't even know my first name; I hate it for a reason.

"Oh excuse you. No one calls me Madeline, and how the hell do you know my name. Also, I am not entering some new life just because you are going to have a hard time with an annulment. You will fix it because I have a life to get back to. Oh and for the record, this is America and we have the right to free speech. So, in honor of America, fuck you."

"That is very rude and not called for at all but I know this situation has you stressed so I will let it go this time. Your name is Madeline Peyton Par. You are twenty-four years old and are 1.57 meters tall. You just graduated from NYU with a double major in biology and chemistry. While there you maintained a 4.0 grade point average. There is no criminal record and you live in an apartment in the city with Rein Small. Your family di-"

How the hell does he know all of this stuff? My eyes are the size saucers as this man blurts out facts about my life. Maybe they really are part of the royal family because this just doesn't seem possible. With my breathing now out of control, I look to the only person in the room that seems just as confused as I am, James.

"Sam, what do you mean there is a problem with the annulment? My father just got his fourth divorce without a problem. This should be an easy, one day matter. You better start explaining what is going on."

So, mystery man has a name, Sam. It seems to fit him. Maybe it is the defeated look in his eyes, or the way his posture began to slump as James spoke, but I don't think he is a bad guy. I think he is just in a terrible situation. They are always saying not to kill the messenger; well it seems Sam is the messenger. As he exhales, he clenches his jaw and in one breath rambles, "Parliament passed a new law that says if anyone in the royal family gets a divorce they abdicate the throne."

James' face fell, his eyes so dark that his pupils disappeared into the iris. "Sam, are you telling me that if I end a marriage I don't remember entering into, with a girl I don't know, and in a country whose laws do not apply to me, I lose the crown." He spit in a tone filled with anger and laced in fear.

Is that what happens? Either we stay married or he loses the chance to become king? Oh God. Please, please let this all be a dream. I cannot be married to a man I don't know, who lives on the other side of the ocean, and whose life involves wearing crowns. I didn't even like the Disney princesses as a kid because they were all too perfect. I don't like perfection, it is too difficult. Plus, I am not exactly princess material nor do I plan on becoming it.

"Sam, who did this? What kind of person makes that law without my help or consent? Why was I not informed of this? I am the crowned fucking prince and they just decided the fate of my life? This girl isn't princess material. No offence, but the woman I marry needs to have been trained in how a princess should behave, not in biology." Well that hurt just a little, but I can't say I disagree with him. I am not fit to be princess. Hell, I am barley fit to be out of college. My first night out, and I end up drunk and married to a prince.

"I really could not agree more. It would probably be for the best if you just let me stay here and the two of you work this out over in England. Plus, I dont have an accent so I am going to seem out of place over there." Thinking of any excuse to stay in North America, I knew that I was fighting a losing battle.

"James, Payton, we have to go to England and try to get this all sorted out."

"I am not going anywhere until you tell me who did this Sam." If I thought James was hot naked, stubborn James in just a pair of jeans, is off the charts in hotness.

"Jay, because you are my friend I will tell you, but you are not going to like it. As soon as I say who it is, you pack up and we leave for the airport. Do you understand?" He swallowed with extra emphasis as if the next part was impossible to say. Shutting his eyes, he says barley above a whisper, "The person who convinced Parliament to pass the law is your brother."

The first thought that crossed my mind had nothing to do with sadness. In fact, I felt like it had been too easy, too predictable. Glancing over at James, his ever changing eyes seemed to agree. Something else was going on, something that an annulment wasn't going to fix.

Throwing on a shirt and beginning to pack I could hear him mumbling under his breath. "It wasn't Alex. He is the only person I know that it wasn't. Shit, what I am going to tell El?"

I don't know who El is or who Alex is, but before I knew it James had packed his entire room. "Sweetheart, we will will have someone go to your house to get the items that you require. Just make a list for me and give me your house key."

I am the kind of person who will fight to the bitter end, but I knew this was a battle not worth fighting. They were going to make me go to England one way or another. Jotting down a long list of my life essentials, I was assured that everything would work out yet again. I don't know if people realize it, but the reassurances are making things worse for James and I.

Climbing into a black SUV with tinted windows, I realized that I may not be back in New York for a while. Fighting back tears, I put my sunglasses back on and looked aimlessly out the window until we arrived at his private jet.

Jumping on board the luxury airline, I felt like I had suddenly entered an alternate universe. There were leather seats and large televisions. It actually looked comfortable. Taking a seat and looking out the window I braced myself for takeoff. I don't know what is happening but I guess I'm about to find out.