Happy Fucking New Year

New Years

Songs

Mad at Myself (Issues)

Join the Club (Bring Me the Horizon)

Repeating Apologizes (Of Mice & Men)

December (Neck Deep)

I fucking hate new years.

I hate how people get together and celebrate. Laughing and swaying around with their loved ones and sparks of hope in their eyes.

Its just a constant reminder that another year has passed and I'm still fucking alive. And I hate it, I hate feeling like this and I wish I could do something but every time I try it never works out.

I'd rather just sit in my room by myself with a bottle of liquor by my side and pass out before the new year countdown instead of being out and being social.

I get this feeling around every new year since I was 10. I always feel like lost cause. Nothing to do, nothing done and nothing will be done.

But this year was different. This year was extra shitty. And as the clock hit 12 I cried harder than I have any other year because it fucking hurt okay. It hurt so bad that I started to claw at my chest, at my arms, my legs, anything to make the pain go away. But it didn't instead I was grabbed and hugged with many "happy new year" cheers filling the air.

Happy fucking new year.