At Evenings Dusk

The Great Depression

Gliding through the airport doors, our suitcases looked more like designer accessories as accompanied to the inhumane beauty we acquired. My fathers bronze tousled hair highlighted his golden eyes. Whereas my mothers  cascading hair collapsed down to her mid shoulders and fanned around her face. Rosalies luscious golden locks bounced as she loped beside Emmett, her arm wrapped around his bulky muscle. A warm smile plastered across Alice's face as she tightly squeezed Jaspers arm in reassurance, his body language tense and stiff surrounded by his worst enemy yet again. Loud fluttering laughs came from Esmes direction, as she and Carlisle whispered clearly ungodly things to each other.

We looked more like angels walking among the other passengers than a fellow flyer. As for me, I was alone. I had lost my world in the making of four simple words-I.Dont.Want.You.
Which couldn't be more closer to I don't love you. I should have said anymore. So then he would know I was lying-lying to protect him. To protect us!

I couldn't go with the family. If I had to see one more kiss or loving embrace, I just might break. But where would I go. I could go over to our cousins in Dehli or Ireland. No I need some place warm but still sensed like home-Brazil!

I would go and see my cousins in Ticuna. Although how could I convince my mother? I'd just have to come out and say it. As we boarded the plane, I decided to slip the question into the conversation.

"Mom can I go to Brazil?" I blurted out stuffing my mouth with the sample nuts before she could protest.

"Renesmee-I know your having a hard time so if you want to go then you can-but me and your father will have to come with you." She accepted, taking the nut packs from my hands and chucking them into the nearest bin.

"Thank you so much. Really" I halfheartedly appreciated her for agreeing.

Although having to see them surrounded in their love bubble while I'm mentally drowning in a pit of sorrow-well it's not exactly making me feel better. She hugged me once more and then resumed back over to her seat throwing herself into my fathers arms.

All the love I'd seen around me made me feel sick-literally. I jumped from my seat and rushed to the plane bathroom. Putrid green spurt from my mouth as I retched into the toilet chamber. I collapsed onto the floor and cried.

Tears flurried down my face as I rocked myself. Why was I crying. I'd just destroyed him. Or maybe I didn't.

Maybe he'll get his life back together fairly quickly for the purpose of the pack and then maybe one day end up in a relationship with Leah. They have kids and stay young forever. That was our dream for eachother minus the kids part.....

All because I told him I didn't want him anymore. I'm such a horrible person. Maybe what my father used to think was true-vampires are just soulless monsters.

Because I see that part growing in me too. Glaring out of the little square window, I marvelled at the wondrous site. As we plummeted further into the sky- the fiery sun faded out and we shot into the deep bejewelled skies.

Looking at the stars shimmer in the black sky, I remarked the time Jacob took me out to see the stars. The only place I wanted to be right now; the only place I ever wanted to be-was in his loving arms.

Although my recent acts have made that just a  small fraction from impossible. Reminiscing my times with Jacob, I drifted off into a happy yet haunting sleep.

I woke up to a shrill scream. It was mine. Abruptly I shoved my hands over my mouth as my mother and the airport attendant rushed over to me.

"Are you okay?" The airport attendant asked, reaching for the emergency dial.