Key to my Heart (sequel to IFL) Outsiders FF

4.

I was right by Pony's side when Two-Bit and Johnny finally left. It was just us now. I was debating whether or not I should go, too. But, I didn't want to leave Pony here, alone. And the sky was already getting dark, so I knew I had to decide fast.

"You're not going to leave?" I looked at Pony, and simply shrugged.

"I don't know" I replied," it's kind of dark to leave now." Pony nodded in agreement. I wanted to ask him whether he heard me and Two-Bit talking or not. He probably did, but he hasn't said anything about it. I was starting to think that he would never feel the same way about me. It was all a dream I had repeated over and over again in my head. And that's all it'll ever be. A dream. I knew one of these days I had to wake up and face reality. Though I didn't want to, that day is closer than I thought.

"Mary."

"Yea?" I had my hands stuffed into my pockets, waiting to hear what Pony had to say. He slightly opened his mouth, ready to say something, but stopped. And for a moment, just a moment, I thought I had saw something in his eyes, something that sparked a bit of hope in me. But in that same moment, it went away.

"Nothing" he finally said. I sat on the couch near the window. Pony didn't even look at me. There was something he wanted to say but it seemed it was getting hard for him to say it. He was fighting the urge, I could tell by the way he fidgeted with his hands. Pony, why can't you just tell me what's bothering you? Why are you always keeping your mouth shut when there's someone here, right next to you, who's willing to listen to whatever you have to say?

I wish I could say it to him instead of think it.

The sound of droplets could be heard behind me, falling against the window. Hopefully Johnny and Two-Bit made it back safely. I shouldn't worry too much, they're both tough. I know they are.

"How long have I been unconscious?" I turned away from the window to answer Pony's question.

"Not long" I responded. My mind was wrapped around the possible way Pony felt towards me. In his perspective, maybe we're just better off friends. Well, if that's what he wanted, then I'm going to respect that and push my feelings out of our 'relationship' cause there will never be anything special between us. Guess it's better to wake up and smell the roses now than be hurt later on... again. But then again, why did he go to Buck's? Did he know I was going to there? Or, was it for a totally different reason that didn't involve me in any way?

I've got to stop doing this to myself. Always questioning Pony's actions and try to come up with an excuse for it to include me, when in reality, it has nothing to do with me. And I've got to accept the fact that there will never be an 'us' just a 'me' and 'him'. Wish it was easier to get over someone, it would make life a whole lot better.

"Mary... I, uh, I hear you talking to Two-Bit" Pony said, breaking the short silence between us. He's probably just going to say that he doesn't like me that way, and I don't want to cry in front of him. I've got to do something about this.

"Oh" was all I could say. And for a moment, just a moment, I felt him look at me. I had my eyes glued on the floor. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?" I don't know what over came me, but my mouth just started speaking on its own.

"Can you just forget about my feelings for you and just... be my friend? I know it's too much for you, and I know it was kind of foolish for me to think that there could be something between us" I said, whispering the last few words. "Let's go back to the way we used to be. You are still my best friend." I looked up at him and forced a smile onto my face. For Pony, it's all for Pony. On the other hand, he seemed surprised by all this, but nodded his head.

"Yea, friends" he replied, his voice low but loud enough for me to hear. Things will never be the same, but I've got to have faith that one day, he'll be able to see me as the girl he trusts, the girl he'll never think any more of than a regular friend. It might not be the thing I want, but it's what is best, maybe for both of us.

Once again, I looked out the window and stared at the rain droplets hit the window glass. One drop for every scar on my heart. It's amazing how much I'm able to keep locked inside, but if I can do it for this long, I can do it for a bit longer. Who knows how much I'll be able to take before I snap. Before I break in front of everybody and make a fool of myself. The last thing the gang wants is to deal with me.

I let out a sigh, noticing how the light in this room was going dim. Pony must be falling asleep. I should get some shut eye, too, I could really use it. It's been a long day for me, and I just want to get things off my mind, can sleep really help me with that? I doubt it, but I'm willing to try.

I laid down on the couch, now facing Pony's bed, and pulled the blanket that was already on this couch, over my cold, shivering body.

One of these days I'm going to have to go back to my time, but when? Will I ever be able to get back? Another reason I shouldn't get too attached to someone from this time period.

Since I have to attention span of a whale, Leonardo DiCaprio suddenly popped into my mind. Was he born yet? Hopefully he was, and hopefully he's a teen, so I can have a chance, since it's clear I won't have one with Pony. A girl can dream.

I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while. But, I just finished watching Top Gun and OMFG I'm in love with any guy in the air force now xD I'm weird like that.

But seriously, I litteraly cried in one of the scenes, and Tom Cruise looked hot in that film. I recommend it to anyone who likes young Tom Cruise ;D I know I do now xP

Lol, well anyways, I'm trying to update all my stories since I'm on vacation from school right now. I hope you liked this chapter and hopefully more updates are on the way.

Buh bye

#TopGunner

~Candy V. Olivares