Key to my Heart (sequel to IFL) Outsiders FF

7.

A/N

Okay, so I was going through my emails, and I usually delete the notifications I get from wattpad because it's usually just people adding stories to their libraries or whatever, but one of the emails loaded fast enough for me to see @Sidney_Cade asking me to update this story, and I thought, why not.

So I did.

Don't forget to comment/ vote/ and follow.

I'll be turning 19 this year, Decemeber 13th, so lets get to 2k before then!

BTW, so sorry for abandoning my Outsiders, I didn't mean for it to get this far, and I didn't think I'd get this popular either. SOOOOO, yea.

On with the chapter!

~

I sat in the living room, staring at the screen of a television that wasn't even on. It's not like I really noticed anyways. I guess I was too lost in my own thoughts and emotions that I haven't even noticed the world that kept moving around me. There was a decision to be made. It wasn't going to be easy, but it had to be done. Before anything, I had to protect myself, because in reality, I only had myself. How could I expect someone else to protect me, if I couldn't protect myself? How could I expect someone else to understand me, to take care of me, or to love me, when I couldn't even do that for myself?

It was now that I noticed I had been holding my breath. Slowly, I exhaled, and swallowed the lump that has been in my throat.

"Mary?"

I turned my head at the sound of my name, but I didn't dare make eye contact.

"Mary honey, look at me."

I shut my eyes. I didn't want to hear what ever she had to say. It's all the same. She has had this talk with me ever since I appeared at her door step that night I ran from the hospital.

"Mary." I felt a pair of soft hands meet my cheeks and slightly lift my face.

I opened my eyes and stared straight into the dark pupils that stared back.

"What are you doing?" I shut my eyes again. "I know we have talked about this over and over again, but we're going to continue to talk about it until you listen."

"Listen to what?" I opened my eyes again. "Whatever you say isn't going to change what happened or what could of happened. Pony said what he did, he tried playing with my heart, and- and-"

"You really don't know him as well as you think. He would never do something like that. Why don't you hear him out? Maybe you had it all wrong..."

"Aunt Cyndy, I know him.... He isn't the type to suddenly have feelings for me out of nowhere. He's never showed signs that he's liked me before, why would he now? Why should I believe him now when he's let me down in the past? I can't do it anymore!"

My eyes were getting hot, and I could already feel my cheeks flushing.

Aunt Cyndy stayed quiet.

"Don't you know how it feels? When you love someone so much... and you take time out of your day to show them... whether it's asking if they've eaten or staying up all night until they're no longer sad... and you would give your life if it meant they would be safe and happy.... and you do everything you can- You give you're everything to make them happy!.... but somehow.... it's just not enough.... you're not enough.... and you tell yourself to keep trying because you deserve happiness, but all you're really getting is hurt... and you can't leave, you can't let go because you love them too much..."

My tears streamed down my face.

"Mary-"

"I finally let go, aunt Cyndy. I finally let go. And I don't want to be reeled back in.... I can't keep letting him hurt me like that..." I whispered.

"Mary, I know you're scared, but he was your best friend. You have to believe he has the best intentions, please" she pleaded. I shook my head.

"I can't. Not now."

Aunt Cyndy sighed, before removing her hands from my face.

"He hasn't stopped asking for you, and he's supposed to get out today. You have to face him one day or another."

"If I have been able to hide from the gang this long, I can hide from him too."

"Mary, it's been two weeks, you have to face your fears" she said.

"No, I'd rather not."

There was a soft knock on the front door.

"Cyndy? You there?"

It was Sodapop. He has been coming by nearly everyday looking for me, but aunt Cyndy has been telling him I wasn't here. She's been helping me avoid everyone, including Dallas, surprisingly. But, whenever he's home, I just lock myself in the guest room, and I don't come out until he leaves or passes out.

Aunt Cyndy looked at me.

"How much longer do you plan on avoiding all your friends?" I didn't reply. I simply stood up and walked over to the guest room, before locking myself inside.

For a while, I just leaned against the door. I could hear my aunt and Soda talking.

"I know she's here, Cyndy. Please, let me talk to her."

"Soda, she won't even listen to me. It's like talking to a brick wall. Either way, she probably locked herself in her room again...."

I sighed and pushed myself off my door and fell onto the bed. I just want to go home. Back to my time, where I belong. Back to the time where I wasn't in love and I wasn't suffering, like I am right now. Truth be told, I don't want to leave Pony. I don't want to push him out of my life forever. He means more to me than anyone will ever understand.

He was supposed to be my best friend too....

What did I do wrong?....

"Mary."

Soda's voice sounded from the other side of the door. I got up from the bed and slowly walked over to the door.

"Mary, please open the door."

I didn't. I just leaned against it again and listened.

"Listen, I don't exactly know what happened, but Pony is really messed up. He won't talk to anybody, he doesn't want to fall asleep because he's scared you're gonna go by and he'll miss the chance to talk to you. He wants to talk to only you."

I swallowed the lump again.

"Please Mary, it's been weeks.... don't do this to my brother..."

Slowly, I grabbed the knob tightly in my hand and started turning. I pulled on the door to open it and was immediately met with Soda's worried stare.

"Soda... it hurts me too..." He reached for my hand, and this time, I didn't pull away. I let him grab both my hands and pull me into his arms.

"He's hurting so much Mary, please... talk to him..."

"I-I don't want to be hurt again... I really do love him, Soda. And I didn't mean to fall for him, it just happened... "

"It's okay, Mary... he has strong feelings for you.... I know he does" he said, pulling back and staring into my eyes once again. "Come see him. It'll be good for the both of y'all."

"Umm... okay" I replied. "But, I don't know if I'll be able to contain myself in front of him... I-I-" Soda broke a smile.

"It's okay. Just get closure." I weakly nodded.