So, recently we got my sister a guinea pig for her birthday. And I was like dammit I am lonely I should have a pet. I settled for a betta fish since they're like a dollar, they're easy to care for, and my mom went all "IT'S HER BIRTHDAY SHE DESERVES NICE SHIT!" so I was just like alright whatever.
But then while they were going over over sized hampster care shit, I noticed these little lizard things and I was like holy shit they are freaking adorable.
So the next day while I was at an archery shoot there was a lizzard on the wall and I tryed catching it and I realized how freaking adorable reptiles are.
So I dragged my parents to the pet store so we could buy one and it turned out they need like a 40 gallon tank which is like really expensive. So while my parents were being all "Oh money space bleh bleh bleh." The pet store lady let me hold one of the bearded dragons.
They are so freaking adorable. It's like holding a small fluffy animal, but like 9 million times cuter. I talked to it I won't lie. I'm sitting here like with that voice people use on animals and small children and I'm just like "Aww you're so cute aww I want to take you home do you want to come home with me?"
I think he liked me. He didn't bite me and he seemed to like me so you know. He was a baby too. They don't get to be like 2 feet long until they're older and he was just so cute!
So then we decided that no it's too expensive. Oh well. I'm geting $57 in September for science fair so I'll just give that to my mom and have her pay for the rest.
Then one day he will be big enough and I will put him on a leash and walk him down the street. then everyone's children will be like "AHH HOLY SHIT THE CRAZY LADY IS WALKING A SCARY ASS REPTILE EVERYONE HIDE SOMEONE SHOOT THE DAMN THING!" and I'll just be like go ahead and try bitches I have like 9 weapons at my house all of which I am well trained wtih.
Then I will make him wear a hat.
I'll also teach him cuss words. He'll just be sitting there and when people come over he'll be sitting on my shoulder and out of nowhere he'll be like "SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!" and everyone will be like who the hell said that and he'll be like "IT WAS ME BITCHES! DON'T MAKE ME DO WEIRD ASS LIZARD THINGS!"
This whole thing was suposed to be semi-serious but I got hyper.
Anywayyy...
BEARDED DRAGONS!!!
