Take me to the happy place

Chapter 18

I scan my wardrobe for a good outfit, a while ago I could count on my best friends to help me get ready, to pick out the perfect outfit, to calm my nerves. But I, alone, get ready.

I opt for an elegant, blue dress at first, that Martina and El insisted I brought. I curl my hair and make an effort, to actually be beautiful. But then Jack and Lisa text me saying they will be about half an hour late.

In that time I manage to get the most sick feeling, and uncomfortable feeling of being in this dress, of looking nice, so I quickly run upstairs and change into a plain black dress, I take off the small amount of makeup I was wearing and sigh.

Back to the plain Jane look. I don't want this mystery guy to like me, because he'll be one of Lisa's friends, someone Lisa has chosen for me. And if I gave in she'd be controlling me. She has enough.

My nerves are jolted by the beep of a car outside. I sigh and quickly grab my back, I avoid looking in the mirror and rush out the door. And yes I'm doing that supposedly 'horrifying' thing and wearing black combat boots with my dress. Which I personally think looks cool. Besides I hate high heels, and flats always slip off my feet.

Lisa is hanging out of her window and waving to me, a foolish grin on her face. I force a smile and wave. Jack just sits in the drivers seat and stares ahead.

"Hi babes," greets Lisa, and I cringe at her word choice.

"Hi Lisa," I say with a smile. Jack turns and wears a white shirt, the first button of his collar undone, and black trousers. So not him, but hey I guess Lisa dictates his clothes now. He smiles and nods to me, I smile back. He then starts the car again and the radio begins to play the fratellis "Chelsea Dagger"

"Ah nice one!" I can't help but say and Jack grins widely before yelling along with me. Lisa purses her lips and looks at Jack, she full on stares her eyes narrowing, and when he catches sight of her he trails of, leaving me singing on my own. He his eyes weaken and he quietly turns the radio off, letting out a sad sigh. I sit back a little perturbed, but say nothing. Lisa turns to me with a toothy grin, a perfectly, pearly, grin.

She's wearing a red dress, a little showy and something I could never have the confidence to wear. But it of course looked good on her annoyingly perfect figure,Cher blonde hair was straightened from its usual wavy state. Thick eyeliner lies on her top eyelid winged at the top, with her makeup, on a whole, perfectly done.

"You excited for your mystery date?" She questions, I open my mouth to answer but she cuts in quickly. "Remember I've picked him, and I don't make bad choices," she says her voice then fades into something, that deep within me sparks slight fear. Like Joan had just overridden her, a deep, dark voice. She then turns back with a sickeningly sweet Lisa smile. But I'm glad, because it was back to dealing with Lisa, and we all know that's a million trillion miles better than if you were dealing with Joan.

I scratch at my thumb, a pit of nerves being garbled by my insides. What if she did pick someone nice? Someone I need. Someone safe. Comfortable. Not Jack, more of a safe option. Like Toby in our year, a scrawny guy, who doesn't appear to have quite fulfilled puberty, but is fairly plain looking, not spectacularly ugly, or uncomprehendingly beautiful...(like Jack). Just in between. He doesn't go out much, but likes hanging out with his two or three friends, who are nice, quiet people. His name isn't famous for the boy whose screwed 1000 girls, or the guy who eats his armpit hair, or the guy who is so beautiful he has a fan base on tumblr.

Just a nice guy. Good luck.

Yeah, well maybe she has invited Toby, just perhaps. And maybe I'll have an ordinary life, get a mundane job, marry at a mundane age, have two mundane kids, and die of a mundane illness. Maybe I could do with that.