Take me to the happy place

Chapter 19

His eyes crinkle as he laughs, and I smile in awe.

"Excuse me, I need to visit the wee wee chamber," I say with a laugh, rearranging my dress before standing up. Jack lets out a laugh as I do so, whilst Lisa and Ronan look at me like I'm an alien from another planet speaking alien.

"What?" Says Lisa, and I can tell by this point in the evening she is ready to kill me. Because, you see, it's gone different to expected, you'd think Ronan and Lisa were tagging along on my and Jacks date. We have spent the night laughing, chatting, occasionally throwing in some inside jokes; Lisa and Ronan have just sat there huffing and puffing.

"Oh," I break into giggles. "I'm going to the toilet," I translate and begin to make my way before Lisa interjects.

"Oh wait a second, I'm coming," she says, and stands up strutting over to me, together we make our way to the toilet.

I push unlatch the door with a very trendy woman symbol marking it. We are met with a strong scent of perfume, and a low lighting, as woman stand in front of the mirrors applying unimaginable masses of lipstick, and various makeup. Lisa takes out her makeup bag, and I frown, before sighing and beginning to make my way to the toilet.

"Oh you actually needed to go," she sighs, placing a hand on her hip. I turn cautiously and nod, why else would I go to the toilet. "Well hurry so we can chat, and take pictures," I force a smile and nod. Oh lord it's going to be one of these trips to the toilets.

I step inside the cubicle, tempted to climb out the window about a metre above the toilet. The toilet is quiet other than the sounds of women chatting, so I'm too scared to pee, instead I just dawdle to make it seem as though I was peeing. I flush the chain and step back outside, walking over to the far too pricey looking sinks, neighbouring the pink soap. I scrub my hands throughly and dry them in the hand dryer.

Lisa is applying mascara as I walk over to her. She holds lipstick before me.

"Oh uh no thanks," I say. She frowns and sighs.

"Why not?" She questions. Ahh this is awkward, so I laugh nervously.

"Oh I don't really wear lipstick," I say, tightly clasping my wrist, she rolls her eyes pulling the mascara away from her and blinking, before screwing the lid back onto the bottle. She observes the result in the mirror.

She then turns to me, and cocks an eyebrow. "You don't do a lot of things Al," she says, with a unimpressed tone, as she looks at me like I'm nothing. Like I'm some child's broken, useless toy. I laugh again, feeling slightly irritated.

"Haha, yeah I do," I laugh off, trying not to start and argument. She turns back to the mirror, and I watch her reflection.

"Yeah, but it's not what we do, like the normal stuff," she says simply. But it couldn't have been any more hurtful. Like someone violently jabbing me in the appendix with a knife. I blink a few times, my eyes watery not like I'm going to cry, more all my nerves have just jolted. Your not normal Alena. I clear my throat which is knotting up and making me feel extremely sick. Lisa sighs and shrugs before walking to the door, I follow trying to breathe deeply, trying not to collapse onto the ground crying.

They all know it Alena, they all know how weird you are. They all see that you don't fit in.

We walk back over to the table and my mind is so far away, I can't concentrate on what their saying to me, not properly. Ronan also looks uncomfortable, his cheeks are red like some blushing school girl. Maybe if I got together with Ronan I'd look normal, I'd be doing what everyone else is doing.

"Hey guys I was thinking, we could go to Kim Merrints party, just down the road," suggests Lisa, we all murmur in agreement. It means I can then go home, sneak off. So we pay and head off to the already overcrowded house on a fairly roughed up estate. The house is quite small but crammed with people and I don't dare to go inside, in fear of suffocation.