Zodiac Scenarios

random things the signs will say

Aries: I just shampooed my leg hairs. Aren't they soft?

Taurus: My body is so tired but, like, my soul isn't.

Gemini: I think a documentary on how they make straws would be more interesting than this movie.

Cancer: I like sharks, just not when they're eating me.

Leo: Whenever I eat a salad I feel like a manatee.

Virgo: I sometimes like to think of myself as a young penguin.

Libra: I'd rather be a whole butt than just the butthole.

Scorpio: haters gonna hate, vacuums gonna vacuum.

Sagittarius: I need water. It gets the creative juices flowing.

Capricorn: Aunt Jemima would probably be a good warrior.

Aquarius: I used to follow sassy hedgehogs on twitter but they just got too sassy.

Pisces: I have an empty belly and a sad heart.