Temporarily Yours

Chapter 16

We're not broken, just bent and we can learn to love again.

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The gloom of the day was reflected in the moods of the citizens. Grey carpeted the sky so completely that even at four the cars still needed full headlights and the street-lamps shone feebly into the fog. I decided to do something I hadn't done in a long while, something that needed to be done, something I'd put off for far too long.

The frozen ground cracked and crunched under my boots as I weaved in and out of the rows of granite headstones, engraved with the names of lost loved ones, only their memories left to live on down on this Earth. I pulled my hat down over my eyes, not wanting anyone to recognize me. I just didn't want to be bothered by fans today. As I kept a steady pace, I shoved my hands into my coat pocket to keep from freezing, my heart began to speed up. It seemed to beat faster with each step I took, until I was in front of it. The gray granite stood above the ground, proclaiming for all to see that I was a widowed man. I had lost my wife.

Chelsea May Linaburry-Bryan
1979-2013
Loving daughter, wife, and mother

I crouched down and removed one of my hands from my coat pocket before kissing it and placing it on her headstone. The stone felt chilly against my semi-warm hands, sending chills up through my arm and to my spine, causing goose bumps to erupt on the surface of my skin. I let out a sigh, my breath visible in the cold air.

"Hey Chelsea, it's Luke." I whispered, feeling emotion wash over me. "I'm sorry I haven't come to visit you lately, and forgive me for not bringing the kids to see their mother."

A wind gust blew chilly air, making my cheek tingle. My mind was boggled with thoughts of how this was the only way I could see Chelsea anymore, her name engraved on stone. I'd never hold her in my arms again, kiss her lips again, or love on her again. Yet part of me was okay with that no matter how bad it sounded. Now Caroline had come into my life and I couldn't help but feel like that was Chelsea telling me to move on.

I patted her gravestone, smiling down at her. "I met somebody really amazing. Her name's Caroline and she's been a blessing to me and the boys. She's beautiful Chelsea, just like you were. The sparkle in her blue eyes reminds me of the twinkle your green ones held."

A bird chirped in the distance and I looked up, surprised to hear such a sound in the winter. Usually birds were father south in this weather. It sat perched on a headstone behind Chelsea's staring intricately at me with its beady black eyes darting up and down. I cocked my head to the side a tad, wonderment consuming me. I shook my head and began talking to Chelsea again.

"Chels, I miss you, I truly do. Nothing can replace the love I have in my heart for you still, but I-I think I'm in love with..." I trailed off for a moment hesitant to admit it aloud.  Soon a small smile creeped across my face. "I think I'm in love with Caroline and I hope you're okay with that."

The same bird belted out its call once more. I looked up just in time to see it spreading its wings and landing in a crabapple tree, which was Chelsea's favorite type of tree. Either that was pure coincidence that the bird flew into her favorite tree, the only one around that I could see, or that was Chelsea was telling me that she understood and was okay with everything. I opted for the later.

I stood from my crouched position on the ground and looked down at Chelsea's headstone one last time before saying, "Thank you Chelsea. I'll love you always."

I walked back to my truck and hopped in to start the long drive home. An hour was what time I had to sit and think.

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I pulled a cardboard box out of the hall closet, a spew of dust filtering into the air as I set it on the floor. I carried it to the family room and gently placed it on the coffee table before filing through the home video tapes. Each one was filmed by either Chelsea or myself. She insisted on taping every and all moments to keep as keepsakes. Ever since she passed, her camera hadn't been touched.

I pushed a tape into the VCR and hit play. The TV screen lit up, illuminating the room with memories I held dear to my heart. I could immediately tell that this was placed at the beach. The camera was held steady by myself as I recorded Chelsea playing in the sand with baby Bo, who was about three. He sat in the white sand, a boat hat on his head, a toy shovel in his itty bitty hands. He squealed as Chelsea buried his feet in the sand. Chelsea smiled wide and my heart thumped as I watched the screen intently, listening to the melodic laugh of hers. Her chestnut-golden hair whipped in the wind, causing her to push it behind her ear multiple times. The screen went black for a moment before another clip popped up.

This time Chelsea held the camera in her hands, taping a birthday it seemed like. Streamers were strung and balloons were inflated, floating in the air. Bo sat at the dining room table and I sat next to him, holding one year old Tate in my arms. Bo tore open a wrapped present, a smile spreading across his face. I couldn't tell what it was. Something with dinosaurs I think. Chelsea giggled from behind the camera.

"Hold it up BoBo!" She exclaimed.

  It's then that it hit me that this was the last family tape we recorded. Four weeks after that birthday, Chelsea was diagnosed with breast cancer. My breath hitched in my throat and I felt tears slip from my tear ducts gently down my cheeks. Slowly, I turned the TV off, only the glow of the light above the sink in the kitchen lighted the room now.

"Luke?"

I quickly turned when I heard Caroline speak. She stood in front of me, concern etched across her face. This was the first time she'd talked to me since New York.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

I stood up from the couch. "I'm fine." I said quietly, turning to leave, but she placed her hand on my arm, stopping me.

"No you're not. Sit, talk to me." She said.

I sighed and plopped back down, running my hands through my hair.

"I'm just really missing Chelsea right now. I went and visited her at the cemetery today..." I said, turning to her.

She ushered me to go on, so I did,beginning with a shaky breath. "I want to move on from her, find someone new." I saw her facial expression flinch, but she nodded.

"Then why don't you?" She asked, staring deep into my eyes.

"It's a risk to love. What if it doesn't work out?"

  I looked down at my hands that were folded in my lap before she responded.

"But what if it does?"

  I glanced up at her and gazed at her, she stared back a twinkle glimmering in her eyes.

Author's Note:

I need at least 12 comments to update! :)