Temporarily Yours

Chapter 13

Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.

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  The unseasonable drizzle created a soothing tap against the rooftop as it poured out of the clouds. I sat in my leather recliner that was in front of the window, watching the rain drops slip down the window pane. My mind was clouded with thoughts as I thought back to that night in New York. I'd run away to a quieter place. I had been afraid, I still am. I'm just so scared to touch happiness again only to have it taken away from me.

The front door slammed shut and I jumped up from my seat, no one should be here. No one knows I'm here. Then Carter rounded the corner and I just stared. How the hell did he find me here? I hadn't told anyone I was coming up to the cabin. The cabin was a little place Chelsea had made for herself a few years before she passed. It sat way out on the edge of our farm, nestled between a few trees. She came out here to do her own thing, think, have get togethers with her friends. A lot of the time she would make things for the kids here in a room just off the tiny kitchen. It was her craft room, bins full of cloth and buttons, tape and glue, scissors and pens, everything imaginable. No one was allowed in there, not even me. No soul could enter except her own. Even after she'd passed, I didn't have the heart to step foot inside the room on the other side of the two white window-paned doors.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Sit, we need to talk." Carter said gently, sitting himself down on the sofa.

  I settled back into my recliner. "How'd you find me here? I didn't tell anybody I was coming here."

  He sighed. "After I heard what happened in New York, it was a lucky guess. This is Chelsea's place and I know you're really missing her right now."

I glanced down at the floor and slumped my shoulders, answering softly. "Yah, I am."

"Caroline's worried." Carter blurted.

I looked up at him. "Why?" I questioned. "I left her a note back in New York stating that I'll be okay."

Carter shook his head. "No, not about that. She's worried that she's pushed you away and reopened a wound. She's threatened to leave, Luke."

"What? No, she can't do that!" I exasperated.

  Carter was quiet for a moment before he locked eyes with me, a serious demeanor to his gaze. "Do you love her?"

I was baffled and stuttered. "Well, I mean I like her and,- "

"No, do you love her, Luke." Carter interrupted.

I gave in and sighed. "Yes, Carter." I looked away and swallowed a lump in my throat. "I love her."

Finally admitting aloud, and to myself lifted a weight off of my shoulders, yet added another as the thought of Chelsea popped into my mind.

"I love her a lot," I continued, looking back to Carter. "I'm just afraid to admit it to her, fearing what Chelsea would think."

"Luke, life's just too short not to kick fear in its ass and learn to love again. Chelsea would want that. She wouldn't want you to go on with your life, unhappy." Carter stated.