Holiday with the Tomlinsons

•six•

l o u i s

When we start driving, I notice that something seems to be bothering Evalynn. I think it may have something to do with her scars because she's messing with the edges of her sleeves. I don't know whether or not I should say anything, I don't want to make her even more uncomfortable. I also don't want to seem like I don't care, though. I really do care about her.

"Are you okay Ev?" I finally decide to say.

She jumps slightly at the sudden noise in the car. "Yeah I'm fine," she says quietly. I know she's hiding something. I give her a look, showing her that I know there's something wrong. She lets out a breath, then says, "It's nothing. I just found something earlier and it was making me think about... stuff..."

"What stuff?" I ask, even though I'm pretty sure I already know.

She lets out another breath, "Cutting..."

I knew it. I really hope she didn't cut herself again. Oh god, could that be why she was pulling at her sleeves? Was she trying to hide fresh cuts? She must have noticed the panicked expression on my face because she begins to explain her thoughts.

"I was looking through my bathroom, making sure I had everything I needed for our trip, and I found a bunch of old razor blades I used to use. I didn't even know I still had them. I thought my parents would've thrown them all away when they moved in with me. When I saw them, I remembered how much I loved cutting. I used to watch the blood drip from my body and I would finally feel like I was in control of my life. Not the kids at my school, not my parents, not society, no one other than me, myself, and I. I picked one up and lifted up my sleeve, ready to do it again, but then I remembered why I was in there. I wasn't in there to go back to my old ways, I was there to get ready to see you." She cracks a small smile. It's so cute. "Louis, you saved me from doing something I know I would regret for the rest of my life. If I started again..." She shakes her head. She looks flustered, but she still has her cute relieved smile on her face. "If I started again..." Her smile slowly began to fade. She stares into her hands as if she were looking at a painful memory resurfacing again. She studies every line and crease in each of her palms as if she were going to be taking a test on them shortly.

"Thank you Louis", she says, looking up from her hands, the curiosity lingering in her eyes. She gives me a huge hug from the side. I wish I could hug her back. I just want to hold her fragile little body in my arms and feel all of her problems fade away. 

I feel a tear drop onto my neck. I can no longer resist the urge to wrap at least one arm around her. I hate that she would ever even have the temptation to cut herself. She' so beyond beautiful, inside and out. There aren't enough words in any language to describe her. She's Evalynn. No one else is quite like her, and she's not quite like anyone else. She's one of a kind.

She slowly starts to move away from me, but i keep my arm draped around her shoulders. I notice that she has a smile on her face, and the tears she is shedding no longer look like ones of sadness. We sit in silence for a while, but it isn't awkward. If anything, it's comforting.

I have a feeling this trip is going to be even better than I anticipated.