I had been home around a week now. Brian was back in New York filming a few episodes of Impractical Jokers. Although he had a few days off before he had to leave for Miami to go on his work cruise. In those few days off he had planned to fly out to Los Angeles, and together we were finally going to come clean to my dad about what has been going on, or in this case, what is about to be going on. We definitely wanted to take our relationship to the next level, but we couldn't do that until this mammoth sized object was no longer blocking our way. I had no thought in my mind that ended up with him being okay with this. Every time I played the scenario out in my head it ended up with Brian pretty much being killed. This no doubt would always end disastrously, no matter how we approached the situation.
Sprawling out on Kara's couch, I had no energy to even try and do anything productive with my day. It wasn't out of laziness, I just physically couldn't get myself up, I felt mentally and physically exhausted, even though I had done nothing at all. Ever since arriving in New York I hadn't felt like myself, and it was really starting to worry me.
"What are you, going through a break up?" Kara asked as she walked into her living room, switching on the lights.
"Just tired" I yawned.
"Are you sure? There isn't any trouble in paradise? Quinn treating you how he should be?"
"Everything is fine, honest" I smiled small.
"So why are you moping around? That's all you've done since you've gotten back"
"I didn't realize."
"Because you've been sleeping half of the time. Have you even been eating? The fridge is completely full still." She was beginning to sound more like my mother than my roommate. However I couldn't complain, as it was coming out of a place of love and concern. I didn't realize it had been going on for so long, until I actually paid attention to the date. It had been well over a week, usually if I still felt crummy after three or so days I would always drag myself to the doctor. The lack of energy was really messing with my brain, I could barely think straight most days. I began to rub my eyes with my fingertips. "Jess?"
"What?"
"Are you sure that you're okay?" She sat down next to me, placing her hand on my shoulder, looking me in the eyes, face full of concern. For some reason I just burst out crying, the panic of having no control over my body had finally caught up with me. I was a weeping mess, and completely terrified.
"I just don't feel right. I haven't been myself, I've been passing out, sleeping non stop, forgetting almost everything and throwing up.. There just seems to be more and more things getting added to the list. I'm starting to get worried that it could be something really serious"
"Jess..what kind of birth control are you taking? Usually that takes a few months to get into your system and it can really affect your moods and body whilst it gets used to you taking it."
"I'm not on birth control" I answered, not realizing that that could be the lone reason as to why I felt this way. Watching Kara's face changed from a casual stare, to one of a shocked disposition.
"Does Brian use condoms?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
That was when everything had come flooding back to me. We had never used contraception, not even once. We had both always been too caught up in the moment to even consider it. Take that and multiply it by the number of times that we had hooked up since Halloween, it had almost shocked me that a situation like this hadn't presented itself sooner. How could we have been so stupid? How could I have been so stupid?
"No..No he doesn't" I said, placing my face into my open hands. "I can't believe that I had never even considered this"
"That answers my next question then" Kara said.
