"Maybe I'm an idiot for saying this, but I believe you." I sighed. Sure I was partially happy that everything he had said had some sense to it. But there was part of me that was angry at myself for letting it show that I forgave him so soon. I didn't want him to think that I was a pushover, that he could do this every time we had a fight and I'd forgive him as easily as the time before. Because that wasn't the case, that was his last chance, there would never be any more.
A smile formed on his face, before he made his way over to me, attempting to give me a hug, to which I shook my head at and stepped away.
"Alright, no hug then.." He said, sounded annoyed, but must have known deep down why I had acted that way.
"Just.. not yet. Don't get me wrong, I forgive you, but I'm definitely still mad at you."
"I'm sorry you had to see all that.."
"In what universe to do you think that was a good idea, though? She was on the cruise, so I'm assuming that she was a fan? And you recorded it? Just be glad that your face wasn't in it. All I have to say." He looked down at his feet, hopefully as disappointed with himself as he looked. His voice was definitely in the video from the small part that I had watched, so that alone could be disastrous for him. The girl seemed pretty into him, and I jump started that when texting her again pretending to be him. I just hoped that she wouldn't be that type of fan to be angry at the cutting off of contact, where she would want to retaliate in a terrible way. I had to find a way for her to delete that video. He was going to be a dad, I just wouldn't feel comfortable that my child could potentially know about this one day. It had to go.
"I was wasted. You know how I get"
"Good save" I replied sarcastically.
"Can you not start acting like a bitch?"
"I'm gonna go. I can't be dealing with you right now. I have packing to do"
It was the best thing to do, being alone with him in a room was something that I wasn't ready to do yet. I was still so full with anger that if I had stayed, I wouldn't be able to not say anything. And we all know that would start a whole new argument that would last another week. As I left his room, I made it back to mine, dragging my suitcase out and throwing it onto the bed. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. It was a text, from Brian.
"I didn't mean to call you a bitch. You have every right to be angry, just don't leave Miami without seeing me first, please."
I rolled my eyes, almost confused by his behavior sometimes. He was always so hot and cold. Throwing insults, but then acting so sweet 10 minutes later when he had actually thought about what he had said. That was his biggest downfall. He would never think things through until after, whether that be drinking too much, hooking up with random girls, or saying something that he shouldn't have.
I put the phone back into my pocket, before having a moment of thinking, then pulling it back out again. There was a good chance that this girl, Amy, was still in Miami. Brian had no idea that I had been texting her pretending to be him, so I had to at least have one try and making this video disappear from existence.
"Hey, I was just wondering if there was a chance that you could possibly delete that video" I typed, almost cringing at how awfully bad the text message had sounded. But I had no other idea on how to try and ask such a thing, other than to straight out ask it.
Shortly after, a response came through.
"Meet up with me tonight, and I'll think about it ;)"
How was I going to work my way around that one? I'm almost certain that using Brian's skin was going to be nowhere as easy as pretending to use his number. There was no way that I could get her to delete it by turning up as myself, looking like a crazy girlfriend that wasn't actually his girlfriend. That didn't look great by any means. Unless.. I tell Brian about it. The last thing that I wanted him to know was that I snooped through his phone. I didn't wan't him to lose trust in me just like I had done him, it felt awful after all. But surely he could see that I knew something was up, and I was right about it, so I had some right to look? My brain was mush at this point. I texted Brian, asking him to come and see me, within five minutes there was a knock on my door.
"It's open!" I yelled, as I continued tossing items into my suitcase.
"What's up?" Brian asked, sounding curious.
"I... Uh, actually have something to partially ask and to partially admit to.." I began. Brian then nodded for me to continue. "Before I found out, I knew something was or had been going on. I saw how you looked at Sal and it was just eating me up inside. That night when we went back to your room, you were in the shower and I kind of... looked through your phone.." I clenched my teeth, awaiting an angry response from Q. He just kind of sighed, but didn't seem angry.
"Go on" he replied.
"I got the girls number. I got Amy's number. And I texted her off my phone, maybe pretending to be you"
"Okay, you're slowing losing me. Pretending to be me how?"
"I just texted her to see what she would say. Nothing out of the ordinary, just some casual hey how are you stuff. Then she started to talk about that night and I questioned her, saying that I had forgotten blah blah blah. She then sent me that video."
"Right.."
"And so now after everything, the last thing I ever want is for that video to be a public thing. For your sake, and for our baby's sake. So I texted her today, asking if she could delete it. It was probably a long shot off, but I had to try something. She said she wanted to meet up with you tonight, and then she would think about it.." I said, trying to subtly drop a hint. "But I ca.."
"I'll do it." he interrupted my sentence.
"You will?" I asked, surprised by his reaction. I had expected him to be a little mad, not completely enthusiastic.
"You're right, it shouldn't be out there, and I don't want it to be out there. But one thing?"
"Sure.."
"You have to come with me. Maybe if we're just completely honest, she'll see that it's the right thing to do."
I immediately felt nauseous. To me, that was a horrendous idea. No one else knew besides us two, Sal and Kara. But between these people, we knew that this secret would always be safe. If we tell a girl that we didn't even know, and a fan at that, it would only be a matter of seconds before that was on every inch of the internet.
"Brian.. I can't, my parents."
"So then tell them. Don't you finally want this out in the open?"
"Well yeah.. But I'd rather do that in the flesh." I replied.
"So they can completely tear you apart like they had done when you thought it'd be best to tell them about you and I 'in the flesh'" he air quoted the last part. He was right once again. I couldn't get away from my family quicker the day that I had told them about Brian and I. The last thing that I could cope with was looking at their faces as they told me that my own child was a mistake. "You don't have to, but this could just work for us. You don't have to face them."
"I'm going home tomorrow, so I kind of would have to face them" I sighed, knowing that he would be all the way in New York whilst I had to deal with the backlash.
"Not if you come back to New York with me." He stated, certain that he wanted this to really happen. "Until this blows over, come and stay with me."
I stared at the things in my suitcase, before looking around hesitantly. Was it really that much of a good idea? But then again, would it be so awful?
