Curtain Call

Chapter One

dear delilah,

hey. so my therapist told me I have to have a diary. and i was like hell no. but here I am. writing in a diary. so I'm just gonna call it a journal because diary is for like a bratty little girl. so yeah. my entry:

church today. yay. btw thats sarcastic. so yea. umm it was kinda boring, I mean my parents love it so I have to put on that "yay church i love jesus" smile and go with it. whatev. you know how I roll with that stuff.

on saturday thou we went to a farmers market, and there was this awesome shirt "when no one gets me, chocolate does". there was a pic of chocolate in the background, and each letter was on a piece of chocolate. my parents wouldn't let me get it. it was like 4 bucks and they wouldn't let me get it with my own money!!! so they do this whole huddle thing and the next day they take me in to a therapist, maggie. she is just out of college. so thats cool. she's super nice and i really don't know why i have to go and see her but she is awesome at math so maybe she can help me out there.

math. I. SUCK. AT. MATH. ms hawkins just gave back our tests. 53% on it. but hey i mean its not that bad...? but shit my parents are going to kill me when they find out. I mean its not like I try to get bad grades but it just kinda happens in math. I get what she says in class, then the next day, poof! disappeared from my brain. so yay. just barely hanging on to a c there in math. that works. still passing my classes.

i dont however, suck at bio. B+!!!!!!!! okay just saying i know this is kinda weird and all... but meghan? she's in bio with us. she sits next to harry... um she is really pretty. very. and nice, i think. and funny. maybe. if i talk to her then i might figure out if she is nice or funny. but i always get nervous if i try to confront her.

OH.

SHIT.

what if i end up with a crush on her? whats going to happen then? mom and dad will kill me for sure. ill go through that thing where parents put you in the psycho jail thing and oh shit if I'm a lesbian things will NOT work out for me in life.

yeah. so idk what you are supposed to write in di— —journals, but i think thats it. I've just spilled everything from this week. so its like 1am now and I'm still not tired. oh well. see ya at school

good luck in life and shit

jade

ps i still really want that shirt. we can go back on thursday and get it. ill wear it as pajamas or something so my parents don't notice it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dear Jade,

Hello, for my language arts class we have to start writing diaries. I guess telling a friend all this information rather than the usual "dear diary" crap that people usually do is more comforting to me. (I don't know if cursing is fine but my teacher wanted my true feelings so here they are).

At Sunday school we were talking about how no one celebrates the day they were baptized. This got me thinking of everything we do not celebrate. There are so many important steps in your life that you don't celebrate and I feel like we should start. Maybe make when you first got a job a new holiday.

Being in High School is so different than Middle School. We were the kings and queens of the school in 8th grade and now in 9th grade we're back to being the babies. It's weird how much school strives on social pyramids. Why can't we be fine without labels and worry more about getting good grades and having a successful future?

Harry and I are doing well I guess. I feel like we are losing interest in each other. Every time I talk to him now, we don't have anything to say to each other. We know basically everything about each other which I don't know if that is good or bad. I would feel lost without him I know, but with him right now I don't feel much better. It's confusing me greatly. We have known each other since kindergarten and have never run out of anything to talk too. I wish I could just date you, then life would be so much easier.

I'm very sad that you failed the math test AGAIN! You studied hard with me and I thought for sure you knew all the information!

Anyways, best luck to you!

Delilah